Co-Worker/Older Married Women Asked Me Out...

YC11YC11 Posts: 758
edited June 2011 in For The Grown & Sexy
Alright... SO, there's this woman that I've had crush on for awhile now since she started working in my company about a year ago. (I've been here for awhile)

She's much older than me... about 10 years older to be exact. She has a 8 year old daughter as well. She's been married for awhile now but she's been hinting constantly that she's bored with her life in general and she wants something fresh. Since the first day she came to work, I hit on her right away and started flirting with her, and she flirted back like nothing. Since we've become really close friends despite our age gap, closest of all other co-workers, we go to lunch together, we flirt, we hug, we swap kisses(on the cheek) all that other things except actual sex.

I know I'm sounding like a clueless dork right now I'm 23 years old, but I HAVE been with women who had a boyfriend before, and I've cheated on my girlfriend as well, AND I've been with 2 older women, one single, one divorced, so I've been around and I've treaded on some muddy waters before.

It's nothing new for me, but what makes this case different is, despite all her flirting and signs, she can switch it up like THAT instantly, and despite how I made her sound so far, she is EXTREMELY professional, and she is an EXCELLENT worker, boss loves her, she is quick, intelligent, and serious when it comes to work, more so than anybody. We can go from being really friendly to avoiding each other for a week or so depending on the mood, it's like an emotional rollercoaster ride with this women, she is UNPREDICTABLE.

But recently, she asked me out to go to this comedy show with her. Saying she has nobody else to go with(?) I assumed her husband took on some night shift but when she asked me to buy the tickets for her as well, she didn't even know WHAT date the show was supposed to be at... which means, she didn't really plan anything around her husband at all to begin with, she practically asked me what date it is, and she'll make it happen.

Btw, the show's gonna be at Friday night 7pm around July... I mean damn, I've never been out with a married women besides lunch, I don't know what to expect, what is this, friendly offer, friends hanging out, I'm confused as hell... I know I shouldn't be, all my friends are egging me on, but I'm still not sure what's going on with her?

P.S. I've done many bad things in my life, I'll probably continue to do them I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm about to repent, I just need some views on what I'm going through right now, if you are going to criticize at least give me an opinion on this matter, thank you.
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Replies

  • Q45TQ45T Posts: 5,862 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
  • dominique19dominique19 Posts: 295
    edited June 2011
    don't do it . You work with her and shes married. Thats a double loss
  • Jonas.diniJonas.dini Posts: 2,507 ✭✭
    edited June 2011
    I ain't reading all that, but sounds from thread title that she's dtf
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Q45T wrote: »
    Why do you keep using the plural form of woman?

    lol thanks.
  • amenhotepivamenhotepiv Posts: 6,957 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    YC11 wrote: »
    Alright... SO, there's this woman that I've had crush on for awhile now since she started working in my company about a year ago. (I've been here for awhile)

    She's much older than me... about 10 years older to be exact. She has a 8 year old daughter as well. She's been married for awhile now but she's been hinting constantly that she's bored with her life in general and she wants something fresh. Since the first day she came to work, I hit on her right away and started flirting with her, and she flirted back like nothing. Since we've become really close friends despite our age gap, closest of all other co-workers, we go to lunch together, we flirt, we hug, we swap kisses(on the cheek) all that other things except actual sex.

    I know I'm sounding like a clueless dork right now I'm 23 years old, but I HAVE been with women who had a boyfriend before, and I've cheated on my girlfriend as well, AND I've been with 2 older women, one single, one divorced, so I've been around and I've treaded on some muddy waters before.

    It's nothing new for me, but what makes this case different is, despite all her flirting and signs, she can switch it up like THAT instantly, and despite how I made her sound so far, she is EXTREMELY professional, and she is an EXCELLENT worker, boss loves her, she is quick, intelligent, and serious when it comes to work, more so than anybody. We can go from being really friendly to avoiding each other for a week or so depending on the mood, it's like an emotional rollercoaster ride with this women, she is UNPREDICTABLE.

    But recently, she asked me out to go to this comedy show with her. Saying she has nobody else to go with(?) I assumed her husband took on some night shift but when she asked me to buy the tickets for her as well, she didn't even know WHAT date the show was supposed to be at... which means, she didn't really plan anything around her husband at all to begin with, she practically asked me what date it is, and she'll make it happen.

    Btw, the show's gonna be at Friday night 7pm around July... I mean damn, I've never been out with a married women besides lunch, I don't know what to expect, what is this, friendly offer, friends hanging out, I'm confused as hell... I know I shouldn't be, all my friends are egging me on, but I'm still not sure what's going on with her?

    P.S. I've done many bad things in my life, I'll probably continue to do them I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm about to repent, I just need some views on what I'm going through right now, if you are going to criticize at least give me an opinion on this matter, thank you.

    aint nothing wrong with testing the waters but u WORK...with her. she is married and stringing u along...and u never, ever go on dates with someone with no future...she aint the one...run...ignore the whore cause she will get u killed.
    get ur passport up young dude...
    she got u like a dick in a glass...break in case of emergencies.

    dont fall in the trap and dont listen to your friends, if she wanted u she would have been fucked.
    fuck and i repeat fuck a date
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    /\

    So what you saying, fuck a date, or forget fucking her? Both?

    I mean yeah, thing that bothers me more at this point is that I have to see her everyday, not that she's married with a kid... but I don't really want anything from her besides some fun and games really, if she feels the same way, it's all good to me.
  • DRODRO Posts: 9,949
    edited June 2011
    YOUNG MAN...

    THAT WOMAN IS MARRIED!...

    LeAVE THE WATERS ALONE!...IT AINT WORTH IT!!..

    SHYT HITS THE FAN... I GOT 100 THOUSAND U GONE GET IN WAYYYY MORE TROUBLE THAN SHE WILL
  • amenhotepivamenhotepiv Posts: 6,957 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    Both.
    what u need her for...shit if anything have her doing your work and giving u some money.
    no dates, kisses, uncertanty...u gotta man up and take charge.
    balls in your court not hers.
  • kat2180kat2180 Posts: 12,066 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
  • black caesarblack caesar Posts: 7,699 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    First off homie, she's married, but all that means in 2011 is that she and her husband share a closet together. Anyone that's believes in marriage in 2011 is losing.

    Second, she's your co-worker, NOT A GOOD IDEA. You're really going to put the "p" over the "g" (Green) and run the risk of losing your lively hood over some used coochie? What part of the game is that?

    Third, there's no telling if her man will run up on you at the job or not. Square dudes be fighting over females. That's going to make you look foolish my dude.

    I hope you see where I'm going with this...


    However, if you choose to ignore the above advice, here's a couple tips:


    1. Make sure this bitch respects the game. (No telling co-workers etc...) You don't want this to be a Tiger Woods ordeal.

    2. You DO NOT court this bitch. No spending your money at all! She's married, if she needs to be wined and dine, let her husband do that shit. She pays her own way, and you pay your own way. Who's to say she's not only using you to boost her self-esteem, be a dick in the glass or she could trying to get back at her husband for something? If they work out their problems, it's all over for you, and you're looking a trick.

    Better yet since she's married, have her man give her bread and spend it on you. Look at it like this. She's the one not happy in the marriage. Therefore, she should be paying you to bask in your company.

    3. You don't give her no dick until she has brought some tangibles. You're 23, so it's hard to do, but my little brother is the same age as you, and he does this because he's seen me do it. If you mess with this chick, you're risking your job, and possibly your life, so she sure as hell better be compensating you and there's nothing worth more than your life.

    Game has been served.
  • JadaRossJadaRoss Posts: 6,799 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    she giving you signs of Sex but at the same time dont do it bruh cause it can come back to haunt you

    you probably fall in love and she will break your heart
  • HurumaHuruma Posts: 2,284
    edited June 2011
    YC11 wrote: »
    Alright... SO, there's this woman that I've had crush on for awhile now since she started working in my company about a year ago. (I've been here for awhile)

    She's much older than me... about 10 years older to be exact. She has a 8 year old daughter as well. She's been married for awhile now but she's been hinting constantly that she's bored with her life in general and she wants something fresh. Since the first day she came to work, I hit on her right away and started flirting with her, and she flirted back like nothing. Since we've become really close friends despite our age gap, closest of all other co-workers, we go to lunch together, we flirt, we hug, we swap kisses(on the cheek) all that other things except actual sex.

    I know I'm sounding like a clueless dork right now I'm 23 years old, but I HAVE been with women who had a boyfriend before, and I've cheated on my girlfriend as well, AND I've been with 2 older women, one single, one divorced, so I've been around and I've treaded on some muddy waters before.

    It's nothing new for me, but what makes this case different is, despite all her flirting and signs, she can switch it up like THAT instantly, and despite how I made her sound so far, she is EXTREMELY professional, and she is an EXCELLENT worker, boss loves her, she is quick, intelligent, and serious when it comes to work, more so than anybody. We can go from being really friendly to avoiding each other for a week or so depending on the mood, it's like an emotional rollercoaster ride with this women, she is UNPREDICTABLE.

    But recently, she asked me out to go to this comedy show with her. Saying she has nobody else to go with(?) I assumed her husband took on some night shift but when she asked me to buy the tickets for her as well, she didn't even know WHAT date the show was supposed to be at... which means, she didn't really plan anything around her husband at all to begin with, she practically asked me what date it is, and she'll make it happen.

    Btw, the show's gonna be at Friday night 7pm around July... I mean damn, I've never been out with a married women besides lunch, I don't know what to expect, what is this, friendly offer, friends hanging out, I'm confused as hell... I know I shouldn't be, all my friends are egging me on, but I'm still not sure what's going on with her?

    P.S. I've done many bad things in my life, I'll probably continue to do them I'm not gonna sit here and say I'm about to repent, I just need some views on what I'm going through right now, if you are going to criticize at least give me an opinion on this matter, thank you.

    If you pursue this (and I wouldn't, even if she wasn't married I probably wouldn't mess with someone I worked with) you should do everything in your power to make sure that her husband never suspects or finds out. You have no idea how badly his finding out could devastate him, his wife and their 8 year old daughter. Assuming she's even interested and you're not seeing something that isn't there, you should tell her that her husband finding out isn't an option which means extreme discretion.
  • amenhotepivamenhotepiv Posts: 6,957 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    First off homie, she's married, but all that means in 2011 is that she and her husband share a closet together. Anyone that's believes in marriage in 2011 is losing.

    Second, she's your co-worker, NOT A GOOD IDEA. You're really going to put the "p" over the "g" (Green) and run the risk of losing your lively hood over some used coochie? What part of the game is that?

    Third, there's no telling if her man will run up on you at the job or not. Square dudes be fighting over females. That's going to make you look foolish my dude.

    I hope you see where I'm going with this...


    However, if you choose to ignore the above advice, here's a couple tips:


    1. Make sure this bitch respects the game. (No telling co-workers etc...)

    2. You DO NOT court this bitch. No spending your money at all! She's married, if she needs to be wined and dine, let her husband do that shit. Who's to say she's not only using you to boost her self-esteem or she could trying to get back at her husband for something. If they work out there problems, it's all over for you.

    Better yet since she's married, have her man give her bread and spend it on you. Look at it like this. She's the one not happy in the marriage. Therefore, she should be paying you to be in her company.

    Game has been served.

    exactly!!! if she wasnt married.
    FULL SPEED AHEAD...but she is
    that nigga might run up on you plus u working and if she is the good worker u say she is they will get rid of u ASAP
  • kzzlkzzl Posts: 5,355 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    Fattening the frog for the snake. You're wasting time, I doubt she's gonna let you smash.
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Ok, I really didn't want to get in all this.

    This might change the whole view of this thing but here it goes...

    First off, SHE's the one that's 32 year old married women with a kid, I'm 23 years old and single.

    If anything, her reputation is at stake, not mine.

    Second of all... here it goes, I happen to be boss' son. My job isnt really at any risk, hers most definitely is.

    What now?

    P.S. But yeah, despite all this, it could be I'm reading into it(hard to imagine) but I'll always have that doubt in the back of my mind so nothing may never happen.
  • amenhotepivamenhotepiv Posts: 6,957 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    kzzl wrote: »
    Fattening the frog for the snake. You're wasting time, I doubt she's gonna let you smash.

    yuppers
    more fish for ya
  • amenhotepivamenhotepiv Posts: 6,957 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    so when u do attempt to pass go and land in jail...
    will u share with us and keep it 100
  • black caesarblack caesar Posts: 7,699 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    YC11 wrote: »
    Ok, I really didn't want to get in all this.

    This might change the whole view of this thing but here it goes...

    First off, SHE's the one that's 32 year old married women with a kid, I'm 23 years old and single.

    If anything, her reputation is at stake, not mine.

    Second of all... here it goes, I happen to be boss' son. My job isnt really at any risk, hers most definitely is.

    What now?

    P.S. But yeah, despite all this, it could be I'm reading into it(hard to imagine) but I'll always have that doubt in the back of my mind so nothing may never happen.


    You're pops isn't going to tolerate some shit like that. Your dad will see that you have more emphasis on pussy than making money.

    Edit: She could be trying to get your nose open, so you can constantly put in a good word to you dad/boss. She has more to get out of this than you. There's her angle right there. Glad you mentioned this. How long has she worked at this company?
  • kzzlkzzl Posts: 5,355 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    YC11 wrote: »
    Second of all... here it goes, I happen to be boss' son. My job isnt really at any risk, hers most definitely is.

    What now?

    I stand corrected. You may most definitely get to hit that. Although, she has a lot more reason to black mail, gold dig, and/or manipulate her claws into you some how. You just have a bigger target sign on your back I think. Either, way still keep it casual. She could easily make you into her next come up. Especially, if it's a corporate job and not a small time business.
  • black caesarblack caesar Posts: 7,699 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    kzzl wrote: »
    Fattening the frog for the snake. You're wasting time, I doubt she's gonna let you smash.

    Co-sing. To add to that, if she wants you to smash, you shouldn't been going on dates with her. Again she should pay her own way, or treat you. PERIOD.
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Shit alright...

    I still got time until the show which is far away from now so I will figure some other things out until then.

    On a lighter note, it's gonna be Craig Ferguson show, best talk show host in my opinion WHAT!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dG8UCoMJJQ8
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Co-sing. To add to that, if she wants you to smash, you shouldn't been going on dates with her. Again she should pay her own way, or treat you. PERIOD.

    She is paying for her own, no doubt.
  • black caesarblack caesar Posts: 7,699 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    YC11 wrote: »
    She is paying for her own, no doubt.

    Ok it's seems to me you're going to be going out with her. That much is clear. Just remember you're the boss' son, so yeah, she is probably using you to get closer to a promotion. Also if you try to do something, who is to say that she won't file for sexual harassment and then you and pops are going to look real bad.

    Peep game, and once again, follow all the advice I mention in the previous posts including this one.
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Ok it's seems to me you're going to be going out with her. That much is clear. Just remember you're the boss' son, so yeah, she is probably using you to get closer to a promotion. Also if you try to do something, who is to say that she won't file for sexual harassment and then you and pops are going to look real bad.

    Peep game, and once again, follow all the advice I mention in the previous posts including this one.

    Damn cold.

    But you think that's what she's telling her husband when she goes out with me though?
  • YC11YC11 Posts: 758
    edited June 2011
    Another thing I haven't mentioned yet, but we never talked about it either.

    Neither of us told anyone about this, OBVIOUSLY not the boss, she doesn't seem to have any plans on sharing this, I don't know if she expects me too... really and truly, I just want to keep this shut and never talk about it to anyone.

    So another question is, should I let him know so there's nothing to hide(really, there may not be nothing to hide for real) instead of being sneaky for no reason?

    Besides we are just going out for a show, but it just feels funny the way I see it, I don't know if I got heart to say this.
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