Quit or Commit

goat334

NYCeeCee wrote: »

Well, of course you are. You're 35. I'm 31. I think we're older than a lot of the other posters in this thread. I'm gonna assume you're a lot more stable in your career, finances and mental, than Plap is (no offense Plap). You've already had your "hay day" and he needs to get that out of his system and not feel/be forced. If he loses her in the process, he'll find someone else when he's ready....that's if all the good girls aren't taken by then. LOL

Co-sign your post. I never thought he should do it because of her want's. But I've played the field in my day and it really wasn't worth it to be honest, I mean I had fun. It just sounds like he has a good women that he obviously have some love for her, just want him to take time to weigh his options.

goat334

darkone360 wrote: »

c/s this. same over here bruh. only difference wit me is that i was in a long term relationship. after that ended, i decided chill for min and be single. the females i've met, i let them know straight up that i'm not lookin for a relationship right now. what makes it sad, they say its cool, yet they think they can change you're mind by playing the waiting game.

C/S....shit my last relationship wasn't long-term, but I still had to take a break and chill to get my mind right. I read/co-sign your other post in this thread too. I just want him to see another side of what could happen.

Plop Star

goat334 wrote: »

Co-sign your post. I never thought he should do it because of her want's. But I've played the field in my day and it really wasn't worth it to be honest, I mean I had fun. It just sounds like he has a good women that he obviously have some love for her, just want him to take time to weigh his options.

i do and i will............

NYCeeCee

@ goat, its all a gamble either way you look at it. He won't know that running around isn't worth it until he runs around and finds out it isn't worth it himself. If its supposed to be, it will be. <----ugh, I hate cliches. At least if he does it this way, he'll have something to compare commitment to.

darkone360

either way, if he's not ready, then he shouldn't do it. ultimatums don't do squat. i can't sit there and be happy wit a woman i'm in a relationship wit, knowing i "forced" her to commit.

goat334

NYCeeCee wrote: »

@ goat, its all a gamble either way you look at it. He won't know that running around isn't worth it until he runs around and finds out it isn't worth it himself. If its supposed to be, it will be. <----ugh, I hate cliches. At least if he does it this way, he'll have something to compare commitment to.

True. This is pretty much a situation that he has to go through to learn. It's just natural for me to tell him what I've seen/been through just so he know it could go either way.

goat334

darkone360 wrote: »

either way, if he's not ready, then he shouldn't do it. ultimatums don't do squat. i can't sit there and be happy wit a woman i'm in a relationship wit, knowing i "forced" her to commit.

No doubt!!!!!!

darkone360

a nigga committing after being given an "ultimatum", is only doin it to shut her up.

Esiam

Stop with the bullshit, tell her how you feel, but it looks like she loves you (for some reason) which you obviously don't do back.

So yeah, quit being an idiot but don't pretend like you like her like that if that's what you do to make her think that way, if it's all about the sex for you then tell her, she might stop fucking you BUT still the right thing to do.

Be HONEST.

Plop Star

Esiam wrote: »

Stop with the bullshit, tell her how you feel, but it looks like she loves you (for some reason) which you obviously don't do back.

So yeah, quit being an idiot but don't pretend like you like her like that if that's what you do to make her think that way, if it's all about the sex for you then tell her, she might stop fucking you BUT still the right thing to do.

Be HONEST.

she will cut my fuckin throat............and she knows how i feel or she wouldnt have gave me the ultimatem

Esiam

Plap Star wrote: »

she will cut my fuckin throat............and she knows how i feel or she wouldnt have gave me the ultimatem

Why would she cut your throat if she knows? Doesn't make sense... I mean she prolly suspects hence the ultimatum... I mean there's different ways of telling her, maybe not: "Bitch I only like you for yo pussy hoe!" that might cause some beef but if you're more gentle like "I like you and all, but I don't really like you in THAT way" I doubt she's gonna try to physically hurt you.

Plop Star

o ok ok i thought you meant say the latter

cause even tho she knows wat it is already, she aint gon be talked to like that

Esiam

Plap Star wrote: »

o ok ok i thought you meant say the latter

cause even tho she knows wat it is already, she aint gon be talked to like that

Yeah, whatever you do though, don't say you're gonna commit to her if you're not, first: because that shit is mad foul since you been "together" for four years even if you hadn't that would still be foul. Secondly: she might get REALLY upset once she figures out you were bullshitting again, so yeah just keep it real with her.

She obviously is still hoping for something that isn't there and probably is never gonna be there and the sooner she realises it's not gonna happen the better.

Plop Star

obviously.............

nex gin

darkone360 wrote: »

lmao!! like cameras is gonna change the nigga mind. hell, jim jones' girl tried that, and see what happened wit that lol. that nigga hit her wit the "i'm wit you" response. bu the look on his face afterwards....priceless. lol

lmao.....Shit made me fall out the bed when I seen that. My girl was giving me the side eye like "fuck u laughin' for nigguh?".

tommy_jules

Let this be a lesson ladies.. if a dude doesn't ask you to make it official, either accept that shit or cut him lose and move on. If yo gotta ask the question, the answer is no.

tommy_jules

Plap, if I were you I'd just tell her how you feel and that you don't want a relationship at this stage in your life. Waiting 4 years to ask this question seems like somethin a immature chick would do.

nex gin

Plap...all bs aside bruh....let shorty go so she can go on w/ her life. You have strung shorty along for 4 years knowing damn good 'n well u not ready to do any basic committing. I know..I know..I know....she is wifey material so you want to hang on to her until you're ready to fully commit, but u want to fuck other hoes in the process. If you got other women on the side, stick to being a player if that's what you want ( losing 1 woman won't hurt u since you got others ), but don't drag a good woman down in the process. It's definitely a bad idea to give in to ultimatums cause that shit never works. Also,...odds is she won't leave u regardless of the ultimatums. Women try to use that shit all the time, but most of them come back w/in a couple weeks or a month ( especially if you've been w/ them for some years )....trust me I know from experience.

frostyicy

Bruh you had a mad good run. 4 years is a long ass time for you to be fuckin a female without her been have mentioned being official.

It sounds like to me you already know what you really want to do, otherwise you wouldn't be askin for opinions about it.

Seems like you want to hear co signed responses to what you really want to do, yet you're looking for responses on how you might fuck up by giving in to her or not givin in to her.

At the end of the day tho....

Sometimes its cheaper to keep her, figuratively and literally. Take it how you want it bruh.

Esiam

nex gin wrote: »

Plap...all bs aside bruh....let shorty go so she can go on w/ her life. You have strung shorty along for 4 years knowing damn good 'n well u not ready to do any basic committing. I know..I know..I know....she is wifey material so you want to hang on to her until you're ready to fully commit, but u want to fuck other hoes in the process. If you got other women on the side, stick to being a player if that's what you want ( losing 1 woman won't hurt u since you got others ), but don't drag a good woman down in the process. It's definitely a bad idea to give in to ultimatums cause that shit never works. Also,...odds is she won't leave u regardless of the ultimatums. Women try to use that shit all the time, but most of them come back w/in a couple weeks or a month ( especially if you've been w/ them for some years )....trust me I know from experience.

That's kinda what i meant, sure you worded it better though for him, I like what you said about stick to being a player if that's what you want but don't drag a good woman down in the process co-sign

Plop Star

lol at chi and sanchez

let me get emotional for a second................lol

thekillingjoke

Plap Star wrote: »

So this crazy bitch i been fucking with for four years just texts me a couple minutes ago talkin bout.......

she tired of playing guessing games

she tired of our inconsistent love affair (her words)

Ive ruined the city for her with our memories

so then this bitch gives me a ultimatem...............

either quit it or commit it...on that relationship bullshit


and on fb she talkin bout she ready to be a mother and shit..............she must be crazy


but in the end she cool as fuck and a nurse but i aint bout that relationship shit..........

i think we cool just being friends.but she sees otherwise.............

woe is me...wat shall i do

Shit or get off the pot. You can't be playing the field and still have a relationship with the girl, can't have it both ways. If you got a good thing, I say keep it, cause it may be awhile before you find another. Regret is forever.

Real Lady

quit or commit, if you are not comitted then why you got to quit? Do not understand. & would not give a person this ultimatem

7figz

My 2 cents - leave her.

Fuck that cheaper to keep her shit.

If this bitch want a kid and you wasn't thinking about that right now, keep it movin'.
If she wants to get married and you're not the type, keep it movin'. And don't let anybody try to tell you that you're wrong for not wanting to do it. Nigga, it's ya' life. You'd end up being the one dealin' with that kid or whatever, not them. Like they say, misery loves company.

In the long run, it won't be "cheaper"... It'll be a fuckin' headache.

How old are y'all anyway ? She might just talkin' that shit that bitches do - because her friends put something in her head.

Plop Star

we called it quits.....................the crazy bitch didnt tell me she was moving to dallas at the end of the year