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Batman vs. Thanos

DoctopianDoctopian Posts: 303 ✭✭✭
edited April 2012 in Quite Comical
Batman is given one month of one-sided prep to come up with a way to take down (either KO, banish, or kill) Thanos. The only catch is that he can't call on outside assistance to deal with Thanos for him. Can he do it? And if so, how?
thanos_large-1.jpg

"Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him!"


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Replies

  • jaxnjaxn Posts: 1,802 ✭✭✭✭
  • Bcotton5Bcotton5 Posts: 51,323 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yea sure, he beat Darkseid before
  • nujerz84nujerz84 NJPosts: 15,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
    NO...not without help
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    xr52d.jpg

    IC Battle Rap Stans Most Hated.

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  • MorganFreemanKingMorganFreemanKing Posts: 4,225 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LMAO at this thread! Batman >>> One Above All ya know, with prep time and all that
    King Of The South = Gold Medalist @ the Special Olympics
  • CainCain The audacity of you fuck niggas Cyttorax DimensionPosts: 43,145 Regulator
    If half of Marvel can't beat him how the hell can Batman beat him. Batman can prep all he wants but face to face without help from Galactus or an Eternal Batman is dead.
    I mod without feelings or remorse.


    Just been through it all man
    Blood sweat and tears
    Niggaz is dead and shit
    What the fuck else can happen yo?
    I dont think much more son, word to mother yo
    We done seen it all, and been through it all yo
    Let y'all niggaz know right now
    Word to mother, for real, for real
    I aint ever goin back
    psycho_juggaloHyenaKilla
  • dalyricalbanditdalyricalbandit Co-Owner Of AllhipHop.com, Super Moderator, Administrator, Moderator Posts: 66,111 Regulator
    he's the got damn Batman!
  • I Am HimI Am Him Posts: 261 ✭✭✭
    against Thanos he'll be the dead got damn Batman. He could prep for a year and get murked in 10 mins.
    arbitration
  • I Am HimI Am Him Posts: 261 ✭✭✭
    Yea sure, he beat Darkseid before


    no he didn't
  • Bcotton5Bcotton5 Posts: 51,323 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I Am Him wrote: »
    Yea sure, he beat Darkseid before


    no he didn't

    lol he just stopped Thanos, had Apokalips rigged to blow if Darkseid didnt stop his plan and Darkseid gave up lol
  • DoctopianDoctopian Posts: 303 ✭✭✭

    lol he just stopped Thanos, had Apokalips rigged to blow if Darkseid didnt stop his plan and Darkseid gave up lol

    That's cool and all, but how would that work against a guy who cares so little about life that he literally wants to blow Death's back out?

    thanos_large-1.jpg

    "Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him!"


  • Lou_CypherLou_Cypher Make Reasonable Choices. H. E. Double Hockey SticksPosts: 49,707 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What comic is thanos from? not familiar with him
  • DoctopianDoctopian Posts: 303 ✭✭✭
    Lou Cypher wrote: »
    What comic is thanos from? not familiar with him

    He's not really tied to a specific hero or team. He has been at odds most Marvel characters either directly or indirectly, but he butted heads most frequently with Captain Mar-Vell, Silver Surfer, Adam Warlock, and Thor. He tends to be featured in events more often than not, but if you want to get a decent grasp of what the character is about, read Thanos Quest, The Infinity Trilogy (Infinity Gauntlet, Infinity War, and Infinity Crusade), Thanos #1-12, Annihilation, and the Thanos Imperative. If you read that and take a liking to the character, then I'll recommend you some older stuff that features him.

    thanos_large-1.jpg

    "Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him!"


  • DarkRaidenDarkRaiden Posts: 1,423 ✭✭✭
    Does Thanos get any prep? Cause then he wins. Either way he should win as he has no discernible weaknesses tbh.
  • no b.sno b.s Posts: 35
    thanos cant die,has vast cosmic powers and is a great tactician himself...the only batman wins is if thats how the writer decided it was going to end.i know t/s said batman has time to prep but how n from where is he going to get info on thanos? and even if he did he is going to have to kill him cause all thanos needs is one punch (superhuman strength and speed) and batman is done.
  • I Am HimI Am Him Posts: 261 ✭✭✭
    HyenaKilla wrote: »
    If he convinces Thanos to off himself.

    He would take Batman with him
  • AmotekunAmotekun Posts: 7,820 ✭✭✭✭✭
    First of all Thanos is a cosmic being. His intelligence and mental capabilities far surpass the mere mortal batman.

    I mean this dude ventured through the cosmos and turned himself into a god on more than one occasion.

    In fact the only way he's lost according to Adam Warlock, is because subconsciously he always underminded himself.

    Thanos mercs Batman without even getting up from the couch on Superbowl Sunday.
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    tumblr_mljib4JBUr1s5xurzo1_500.gif


    arbitration
  • nicky the donnicky the don Posts: 502 ✭✭✭
    Didn't Batman shoot Darkseid with the same gun he killed Orion with? Gotta check
    arbitration
  • smittysmithsmittysmith Posts: 8,129 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Prep time? Thanos is one of the most intelligent beings in all of comics. That shit would be meaningless.
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    "Death Valley...where dreams come to die!"

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  • CopperCopper The WickPosts: 48,578 ✭✭✭✭✭
    use that gun he popped darksied off with other than that I dont see it happening
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  • I Am HimI Am Him Posts: 261 ✭✭✭
    HyenaKilla wrote: »
    I Am Him wrote: »
    HyenaKilla wrote: »
    If he convinces Thanos to off himself.

    He would take Batman with him
    Batman would still technically be victorious, though a Pyrrhic one.


    No, Batman would not. Anytime you have to sacrifice your life to defeat another person, that's a L to me. There is nothing Batman could say to somebody that is literally in love with Death that would make them off himself. That's why I don't understand why the criminals in Gotham would be scared of Batman, everybody knows he ain't killing nobody.
  • I Am HimI Am Him Posts: 261 ✭✭✭
    use that gun he popped darksied off with other than that I dont see it happening

    I don't think that gun would have the same effect on Thanos.
  • Triple B'sTriple B's Posts: 1,609 ✭✭✭✭
    Thanos is one villain that prep times means nothing. Batman cant do it by himself, he has nothing in his arsenal powerful enough to even slow him down.
  • Focal PointFocal Point Kushite descent... wandering child from Meru of Old TrentonPosts: 16,142 ✭✭✭✭✭
    no b.s wrote: »
    thanos cant die,has vast cosmic powers and is a great tactician himself...the only batman wins is if thats how the writer decided it was going to end.i know t/s said batman has time to prep but how n from where is he going to get info on thanos? and even if he did he is going to have to kill him cause all thanos needs is one punch (superhuman strength and speed) and batman is done.

    He died and was with Death
  • DoctopianDoctopian Posts: 303 ✭✭✭
    c1up wrote: »

    He died and was with Death

    As of Thanos Imperative, that is no longer the case.

    Alright, let's make this interesting. What type of aid do y'all think Batman would need to pull this off?

    thanos_large-1.jpg

    "Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane - like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell - mouths mercy and invented hell - mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites a poor, abused slave to worship him!"


  • DarkRaidenDarkRaiden Posts: 1,423 ✭✭✭
    Doctopian wrote: »
    c1up wrote: »

    He died and was with Death

    As of Thanos Imperative, that is no longer the case.

    Alright, let's make this interesting. What type of aid do y'all think Batman would need to pull this off?

    Darkseid, Luthor and either Doomsday or Dr. Fate or both.
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