Ladies, I need advice. We acted like a couple but she's not looking for a relationship right now?

Soho FrescoSoho Fresco Posts: 566
edited April 2012 in The Powder Room
Here goes, I ended up talking to a HB9 (co worker) back in November of 2011. We became FWB in December. Things were good that month until one night she broke down and basically became emotional first. She said that all we did is have sex so things changed going into a new year. She would talk about our future together and how beautiful our kids would look. We we sleep at each other house (Cuddling, spooning, sex etc) On New Year's, we had amazing sex and she told me she never had a experience like that before. Side note: I ended up getting another job so we were no longer coworkers. I am 22 and she is 21, her last relationship was a year ago and it was a abusive one. Your advice would really be appreciated.

During these fun times, we went wine tasting, gambling at a casino, ice skating etc (wouldn't these be considered dates?). We were very affectionate in public and made songs together ( I have a home studio) Intimate songs about our sex we had. On her birthday, we went to a spa she gave me a blowjob on the massage table ( no sex since she was on her period but it was still a intense and romantic experience)She would talk about the future and how we would have beautiful kids together. At this time, im defintialy consider us dating so I never brung it up and just continued the fun times.
After all, why would FWB do so much together? After this time, we've been talking for 6 months and things cool down. We hang out 1-2 times a week due to our busy schedules but when we do, it's fun. We still talked on the phone when we didn't see each other.
Fast foward to the present with a update. We were talking on the phone two nights ago and I was discussing a topic using the terms "us and we". She cut me off (not rudely) and asked a SHOCKING question. Her exact question was "wait, are you looking for a relationship?"
I was so shocked and caught of guard, that I instantly answered "well yeah, aren't you?" AFC move on my part but guys,I really didn't see this coming. We did all things a couple would do for 6 months, I thought we were dating. I mean, it was random and it's not like I brought up the relationship talk. She answered with "I am not but I have crazy feelings for you and I do not want any of this to change. It's not you, it's me. I've been there and done that and it's not that i'm afraid to's just that I don't want to say yes to something my heart wouldn't be into. I don't want to feel trapped like my ex made me feel and I just want to be free, single like i'm used to being. My feelings towards a relationship might change over time"

Whoa, I was still shocked after hearing this and honestly felt mislead because all this time, we acted like a couple. AFC of me again, I responded with how surprised I was and that we want two different things and know one is to blame for that. She continued to say it's her and not me. She didn't want to get off the phone and kept on trying to keep the convo going ( on other topics).After we got off the phone, I didn't feel the same about her.

After that night, I went no contact and ended up getting a text from her this past Saturday.

Text Convo

HB9: 4:00 pm Hey, how was work?

Me: (responded 2 hrs later, I was really busy)It was good,how was your day....

Her: 6:35 pm Proactive, I got a lot of work done

Me: (responded 15 min. later) Cool

Her 7:19 pm(basically responded quick) Wow, you never respond to my text like that but ok, cool.

Me: Alright
Didn't get any response for the rest of the night. (Haven't heard from her ever since)

I don't want to play games, I honestly don't want to talk to her anymore but I don't know if I am overreacting or what. Her "I'm not looking for a relationship line was really a blow". Don't know, guess I just want to opinions and others view on this situation.


Sign In or Register to comment.