Ladies...... What are the pro's and cons of wearing your hair natural?

Sion

Bookworm wrote: »

I have locs and I love them. I had relaxers all my life until I was 21. It was a never ending cycle of my hair growing and breaking off. I could never get past a certain length and my hair was always thin. I never had the healthy relaxer you see on the box lol. I also was given the mentality by my mom and older sister that I had bad, nappy, nigga hair bc it was never silky straight. In reality my hair was so damaged by the relaxers that I basically had a head full of split ends. I went natural when I was 21 because the hair on one side of my head fell out. It literally looked like I had a one sided mohawk. When I went natural I saw the real texture of my hair for the first time ever. I was soft and kinky and thick . I liked it. I wore an afro for about 4 years until I got tired of it and decided to get locs. I can honestly say that for the first time in my life I LOVE my hair. The only con is that it costs about the same to maintain my locs as it did when I got relaxers. I know some women whose hair thrives with relaxers but I was never one of them.

Daaaayuuumm. I hope you happy with your hair today.

SixSickSins

I LOVE my natural hair. Sadly, most Black women are ignorant to how to care for it properly. A common misconception is that our hair is unmanageable & does not grow but it does; women just put stupid relaxers in it which cause it to break off at the same rate it's growing thus no change in length retention.

Most Black women, consciously or inadvertently, keep their hair chemically or heat straightened to assimilate and fit in with eurocentric ideals and I'm not down with that. It's a form of self hate if you think about it.

No relaxers=no wasted $ on caustic chemicals on your head. The healthiest choice. Indisputable.

It's versatile. I can wear a twist out or braidout or Afro, or puff.

The detangling is the only thing I hate to do but I wouldn't switch it for the world.

kai_valya

SixSickSins wrote: »

I LOVE my natural hair. Sadly, most Black women are ignorant to how to care for it properly. A common misconception is that our hair is unmanageable & does not grow but it does; women just put stupid relaxers in it which cause it to break off at the same rate it's growing thus no change in length retention.

Most Black women, consciously or inadvertently, keep their hair chemically or heat straightened to assimilate and fit in with eurocentric ideals and I'm not down with that. It's a form of self hate if you think about it.

No relaxers=no wasted $ on caustic chemicals on your head. The healthiest choice. Indisputable.

It's versatile. I can wear a twist out or braidout or Afro, or puff.

The detangling is the only thing I hate to do but I wouldn't switch it for the world.

i totally disagree with the bolded. chemically damaging your hair thru relaxers is one thing, but how is me using a flat or curling iron self-hate? how is that any different from white girls with curly hair that use those styling tools

also i think people have this notion that all black people have the same type of hair, we don't (just like people tend to think all africans are dark skinned) so they assume that if someone doesn't have what they consider "typical" black hair that means that person is using relaxers or whatever. i couldn't grow an afro no matter how hard i tried, with my hair texture and type is just not possible. this idea that if a chick isn't rocking dreads or an afro that she somehow hates herself or is less black is really dangerous and divisive imo

MissK

@kai

Couldn't agree more with your statements. I wonder if white women argue with each other about getting perms the way we do about relaxers. I can appreciate all styles and would love to rock an afro but like you with my texture it would never happen. I still choose to relax mine because it is what I like right now, regardless of what others think it is healthy, and yes my s/o likes it.

Bottom line for me is that we all have a choice and as I said I encourage my daughter to wear her hair without processing it but at some point it will be her choice to do as she pleases. Same as if she wanted to use a chemical to change the color. Best I can do is give her the right knowledge on how to care for it.

Long, short, curly, straight, braids, dreads - if you like it I love it.

Doubletee

I didnt realize some women spent so much money buying weaves&extentions...damn those things arent cheap.

SixSickSins

kai_valya wrote: »

i totally disagree with the bolded. chemically damaging your hair thru relaxers is one thing, but how is me using a flat or curling iron self-hate? how is that any different from white girls with curly hair that use those styling tools

It isn't.

kai_valya wrote: »

also i think people have this notion that all black people have the same type of hair, we don't (just like people tend to think all africans are dark skinned) so they assume that if someone doesn't have what they consider "typical" black hair that means that person is using relaxers or whatever. i couldn't grow an afro no matter how hard i tried, with my hair texture and type is just not possible. this idea that if a chick isn't rocking dreads or an afro that she somehow hates herself or is less black is really dangerous and divisive imo

I am not one of those people; Black people have the most diverse hair of all imo. Yah, you're not getting anything remotely close to an Afro with your loose texture. Where did I say no dreads/afro meant hate? Nowhere, so don't incorporate your supplemented, false interpretation into my post. I merely stated the obvious: heat & chemicals are damaging to hair, the latter more so.

lulz.

kai_valya

SixSickSins wrote: »

I LOVE my natural hair. Sadly, most Black women are ignorant to how to care for it properly. A common misconception is that our hair is unmanageable & does not grow but it does; women just put stupid relaxers in it which cause it to break off at the same rate it's growing thus no change in length retention.

Most Black women, consciously or inadvertently, keep their hair chemically or heat straightened to assimilate and fit in with eurocentric ideals and I'm not down with that. It's a form of self hate if you think about it.

No relaxers=no wasted $ on caustic chemicals on your head. The healthiest choice. Indisputable.

It's versatile. I can wear a twist out or braidout or Afro, or puff.

The detangling is the only thing I hate to do but I wouldn't switch it for the world.

i got it from the bolded in this post. you stated that straightening your hair, even with just heat, is self-hate somehow. i made no assumptions, you're the one that's equating natural hair only with afros, braids or puffs.

no big thing either way, we're here to discuss this topic anyway

[Deleted User]

what type of natural products do u ladies use on your hair, is Carols Daughter overrated ?

UPTOWN CONNEXX

SixSickSins wrote: »

I LOVE my natural hair. Sadly, most Black women are ignorant to how to care for it properly. A common misconception is that our hair is unmanageable & does not grow but it does; women just put stupid relaxers in it which cause it to break off at the same rate it's growing thus no change in length retention.

Most Black women, consciously or inadvertently, keep their hair chemically or heat straightened to assimilate and fit in with eurocentric ideals and I'm not down with that. It's a form of self hate if you think about it.

No relaxers=no wasted $ on caustic chemicals on your head. The healthiest choice. Indisputable.

It's versatile. I can wear a twist out or braidout or Afro, or puff.

The detangling is the only thing I hate to do but I wouldn't switch it for the world.

i love this woman ...........

UPTOWN CONNEXX

kai_valya wrote: »

SixSickSins wrote: »

I LOVE my natural hair. Sadly, most Black women are ignorant to how to care for it properly. A common misconception is that our hair is unmanageable & does not grow but it does; women just put stupid relaxers in it which cause it to break off at the same rate it's growing thus no change in length retention.

Most Black women, consciously or inadvertently, keep their hair chemically or heat straightened to assimilate and fit in with eurocentric ideals and I'm not down with that. It's a form of self hate if you think about it.

No relaxers=no wasted $ on caustic chemicals on your head. The healthiest choice. Indisputable.

It's versatile. I can wear a twist out or braidout or Afro, or puff.

The detangling is the only thing I hate to do but I wouldn't switch it for the world.

i totally disagree with the bolded. chemically damaging your hair thru relaxers is one thing, but how is me using a flat or curling iron self-hate? how is that any different from white girls with curly hair that use those styling tools

also i think people have this notion that all black people have the same type of hair, we don't (just like people tend to think all africans are dark skinned) so they assume that if someone doesn't have what they consider "typical" black hair that means that person is using relaxers or whatever. i couldn't grow an afro no matter how hard i tried, with my hair texture and type is just not possible. this idea that if a chick isn't rocking dreads or an afro that she somehow hates herself or is less black is really dangerous and divisive imo

see this is where the topic tends to get sensitive for some women. and this part of the topic is a good place to stop have a convo on for now so we can all learn from each others thoughts and experiences

@ kai ... if a white girl has curlier hair, and she straightens it, that actually can be attributed to moving as far away from being anything even close to black as possible. so that would be a little different than a black woman doing it but its still the same idea. having a more european or "white" look. its just that in the white girls case, she is reaffirming that she's white where as a black woman would be kinda going along with the commercial revlon look which by all means is european in every way. and she may not be intentionally "denying her blackness" but we have already been thru the "baby doll" test and all that. fact is that as children we are taught that european features are beautiful and african or black features are "flaws" which is not true. so where do we draw the line? where can we point out that this is embedded in alot of womens thinking?? watch the video, the women who were being "interviewed" could not even answer the question as to why they straighten their hair ALL THE TIME. most never even thought about it. they just some how think that wearing their hair natural is wrong but having it straight somehow (which they cant even explain) makes them "feel good" and "look beautiful". so there is an element of self hate there. maybe youre tangling yourself into a topic that really isnt directed at you. good point about all black people not having tight curls tho

and its not just you when i make this next point so i dont want you to feel like im attacking you. when you say "how is me using a flat or curling iron self-hate?" that sensitivity about this topic seems to lead some women to have extreme view points on the matter. its just like baby girl in the second vid i posted. she basically made that same arguement but in the video you can see the emotion and attitude were actually stronger than the viewpoint itself lol

of course using those tools is not self hate. it depends on HOW YOURE USING THEM. im a man so i dont know all the hair styles etc but for example i may see a girl rocking her hair natural and some parts may be braided or curly or what have you and some parts may look like a different texture around the temple area etc to achieve that certain style. so you can tell when a girl is rocking a white girl hair style or not. when you knick pick to that extreme level it throws the whole convo off

1of1

Interesting

Mood Indigo

I straighten my hair when I feel like wearing a different style. It's that simple. All I have to do is wet it and goes right back to its natural state.*shrugs*

UPTOWN CONNEXX

Mood Indigo wrote: »

I straighten my hair when I feel like wearing a different style. It's that simple. All I have to do is wet it and goes right back to its natural state.*shrugs*

its this "feeling" that i want to understand

i guess its different for me because im a man. like, back when i had braids, i never "felt" like having waves one day. when i cut my hair off and did get waves it was because an actual issue i was facing. so thats where i get lost. how does the texture of your hair equate to or effect your emotional state or your "feelings"??

no sarcasm .... real question

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something in my thought process is moving away from the white girl look on black women. i cant really fuck wit it anymore. its like a flaw to me now. its like putting ketchup on cereal

longmeat

Bookworm wrote: »

I also was given the mentality by my mom and older sister that I had bad, nappy, nigga hair bc it was never silky straight

Shit like this always bothered me. If I ever get married, the broad will have to be natural, and her parents family better not be on no bullshit. I don't want no one brain washing my daughter believing to be beautiful she have to have straight hair and be light skin.

king hassan wrote: »

My dauther wants locs but her mother is against it. And my baby got that soft hair that when you braid it it comes straight down. Now her mother put a perm in it and it won't grow, I'm striaght pissed. Shit's breaking her hair off and making it fall out.

I remember my cousin had long thick beautiful hair when she was younger. That bitch went down her back. One day her moms put some just for me in there, all her shit fell out. Her hair ain't been right since lol

Mood Indigo

UPTOWN CONNEXX wrote: »

Mood Indigo wrote: »

I straighten my hair when I feel like wearing a different style. It's that simple. All I have to do is wet it and goes right back to its natural state.*shrugs*

its this "feeling" that i want to understand

i guess its different for me because im a man. like, back when i had braids, i never "felt" like having waves one day. when i cut my hair off and did get waves it was because an actual issue i was facing. so thats where i get lost. how does the texture of your hair equate to or effect your emotional state or your "feelings"??

no sarcasm .... real question

It affects me the same way as when I wear any other style. I don't feel any way about it unless it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Then I'd be annoyed cause I would have to fix it. A hairstyle is a hairstyle to me. Other women may feel differently but I honestly don't give it that much thought. If I make a conscious effort to always wear my hair a certain way out of shame for the natural texture of my hair then your argument would hold weight with me but one week I may wear it straight and then for the next month I'll keep it natural and my mental state remains the same. Lol

kai_valya

Squall wrote: »

Isn't Kai mulatto?

no, i'm african

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kai_valya wrote: »

Squall wrote: »

Isn't Kai mulatto?

no, i'm african

what country are you from again?? (you told me way back. all i remember is something about canada)

UPTOWN CONNEXX

Mood Indigo wrote: »

UPTOWN CONNEXX wrote: »

Mood Indigo wrote: »

I straighten my hair when I feel like wearing a different style. It's that simple. All I have to do is wet it and goes right back to its natural state.*shrugs*

its this "feeling" that i want to understand

i guess its different for me because im a man. like, back when i had braids, i never "felt" like having waves one day. when i cut my hair off and did get waves it was because an actual issue i was facing. so thats where i get lost. how does the texture of your hair equate to or effect your emotional state or your "feelings"??

no sarcasm .... real question

It affects me the same way as when I wear any other style. I don't feel any way about it unless it didn't come out the way I wanted it to. Then I'd be annoyed cause I would have to fix it. A hairstyle is a hairstyle to me. Other women may feel differently but I honestly don't give it that much thought. If I make a conscious effort to always wear my hair a certain way out of shame for the natural texture of my hair then your argument would hold weight with me but one week I may wear it straight and then for the next month I'll keep it natural and my mental state remains the same. Lol

nah see right there i think you missed the question. you said "I straighten my hair when I feel like wearing a different style.


so this is what im trying to understand...... when you wake up one day, and you say to yourself "i feel like having straight hair today" whats that feel like?? like is it hot outside?? are you very busy and dont want to go thru the natural routine because of time or schedules you have to keep??

once again im a man so it could be different. i guess if i wake up one day and "feel" like growing dreads or braids or a blow out its a whole different look for me that i will stick with for years possibly. i thought certain styles dont work with certain people anyway tho. like ving rhames prolly wouldnt look right with dreads LOL

"A hairstyle is a hairstyle to me. Other women may feel differently but I honestly don't give it that much thought. If I make a conscious effort to always wear my hair a certain way out of shame for the natural texture of my hair then your argument would hold weight with me but one week I may wear it straight and then for the next month I'll keep it natural and my mental state remains the same. Lol "

bad argument LOL ...... not giving it much thought speaks for itself. you cant say "If I make a conscious effort to always wear my hair a certain way out of shame for the natural texture of my hair" if you already stated you dont give it that much thought LOL. because the lack of consciousness leaves you open to be influenced by many outside ideas etc

it could be that your mental state remains the same because you are not even thinking about your "straight hair days". so you could be on some white girl shit on any given day. you said yourself you dont give it that much thought. but i dont know because i dont know you personally. but at the end of the day your argument leaves the possibility there. and when you give the same arguement as a girl who rocks her hair like nikki minaj well then ...........

Mood Indigo

The state of my hair doesn't make me any less black so if I actually thought straightening it would bring me any closer to being white then I've obviously lost my mind. Lol

It's really not that serious.

This conversation is best had with women who haven't seen the true texture of their hair in years and refuse to do anything unless their hair is weaved up.

kai_valya

UPTOWN CONNEXX wrote: »

kai_valya wrote: »

Squall wrote: »

Isn't Kai mulatto?

no, i'm african

what country are you from again?? (you told me way back. all i remember is something about canada)

somalia, it's in east africa

UPTOWN CONNEXX

Mood Indigo wrote: »

The state of my hair doesn't make me any less black so if I actually thought straightening it would bring me any closer to being white then I've obviously lost my mind. Lol

It's really not that serious.

This conversation is best had with women who haven't seen the true texture of their hair in years and refuse to do anything unless their hair is weaved up.

true indeed .. but also if you think straight looks prettier than natural, that same thing applies

UPTOWN CONNEXX

kai_valya wrote: »

UPTOWN CONNEXX wrote: »

kai_valya wrote: »

Squall wrote: »

Isn't Kai mulatto?

no, i'm african

what country are you from again?? (you told me way back. all i remember is something about canada)

somalia, it's in east africa

you know what, thats what i figured but i didnt want to just call that out based on a few pics ive seen of you

i know a good amount about africa considering ive never been there. but i want to go bad. whens the last time you've been there??