The very first time....

Empress_

I don't believe I've ever started a thread here but I've heard this coming from both males and females and thought I'd bring it up.

You and your s/o have went for couple STD testing and everything came back clean so that isn't of concern and you're ready to take it there.
Now when you first begin having sex with your man/woman, do you have specific limits of any sort? Some say that they won't give it their best the first few times ie. A girl won't perform fellatio even if she allows the man to perform oral on her. Or they just won't put their "best foot forward" in order to not come off "too freaky" initially.

Some males have said that they agree and don't want their woman to put it on them to the best of their ability at first.

I have my opinion but where do you stand and why?

Empress_

Would I be right to assume you're not going into it wanting to pace things and hold yourself back from specific activities due to what he may think if you're a little "too good" at what you're doing? Which is what many girls have in their heads.

Empress_

Yes I do! I believe much of this very site can attest to that ^^ lol.

MissK

I am assuming a few things here such as we have been together awhile and are in a committed relationship (otherwise the answer could be different)

I do agree with Kat, can't do everything right away. Communication is important-knowing some limits before going all in so to speak. The first few times can be very much a process of elimination as far as what to do/not to do, what is a turn on and what is not because everyone is different. Also, every relationship is different so the terms of what is acceptable will be as well.

Won't go into all my limits but I really don't deal in pain-this was expressed.


It really shouldn't be all about putting your best foot forward IMO, do what works for you as a couple in that moment.

Empress_

I'm sure we all have our limits to a certain extent, it's a new territory you're exploring and you want to take your time feeling it out to the fullest. However, my whole thing is more so the reasoning. Personally it takes me quite some time to even reach a point where I am ready to have sex with a new partner and if that's your level of comfort, then that's still all you.
I just feel a person should be free with how they feel, communicate that to their partner and shouldn't hold back solely because of what others may think. Be yourself, go with the flow and do whatever feels right with that person.
And it varies from couple to couple and the dynamic of the relationship. What works for some may not for another so to go by others set book of rules and agendas is not being honest with yourself or your s/o.

kai_valya

i was pretty inexperienced the first time i had sex with the now hubby, but i was pretty earnest. i did my best, but tbh, i wasn't anywhere near the sexual minx i am now. it took me a couple of years and us getting to know and get comfortable with each other for me to really open up sexually

once we got to a certain level of intimacy it was like we were one during sex (i know that sounds so corny) instead of two separate people

Empress_

@ Kat

I agree. And the reaction/expression on that man's face when you do unleash the beast is priceless!

@ Kai

Not corny at all, although maybe to some, lol.
I know exactly what you mean though, I felt that with my ex. It was powerful, made even more crazy by how intense our love was for each other.

MsSouthern

I don't pull all my freak nasty tricks out the first time


but I don't hold back much either

Just try to find a nice balance ....

yunn~sancob!m!t

Oral sex isn't something to hold back on ...more like handcuffs,and chocolate syrup and such is part of the pacing game lol

Iheart~Cali

I'm 100% sure I wouldn't feel comfortable doing the things I do with my hubby now the first time we had sex.

Trockm

Why wouldn't you wanna dish out your best shit every time you get busy???? I'm trying to leave my mark!

Britt_J

@kai I completely agree with what u said, well everyone really.

I got married super young and only had a couple partners before my hubz. I was inexperienced. Now, its a completely different story. We figured out each other together. I can't imagine starting over with someone else now.

MansaMusa67

Britt_J wrote: »

@kai I completely agree with what u said, well everyone really.

I got married super young and only had a couple partners before my hubz. I was inexperienced. Now, its a completely different story. We figured out each other together. I can't imagine starting over with someone else now.

Honestly....That's how it's supposed to be....

The majority of people got the game all wrong out here

Britt_J

@vboy513
If it was up to my parents I would have been a virgin when i got married, but like "they" say, different strokes for different folks.

Dr.Chemix

She said "sexual minx" hot damn...vocab game killer...

Who the fuck shot this arrow at me? Got the doc on another format-unfamiliar territory

The Prodigalson

My first time was shorter than a Mike Tyson fight. Didnt got for no STD test. Strap up and pow.

MansaMusa67

Britt_J wrote: »

@vboy513
If it was up to my parents I would have been a virgin when i got married, but like "they" say, different strokes for different folks.

If I could do it all over again...I would do just that...

We weren't told to wait for no reason. Lust is a bitch and can warp a young person's judgement....


If i could choose a mate without the physical being a factor, I think everything else would fall into place and I would be truly happy without all the bullshit that comes about when you don't do that.

Dr.Chemix

Trockm wrote: »

Why wouldn't you wanna dish out your best shit every time you get busy???? I'm trying to leave my mark!

lol! ya kno! Like they doing most of the work...nigga just get his dick sucked and he ready to fuck in all positions with one cowgirl session thrown in...the rest is all on us...

Cain1

ItsKatBitches wrote: »

Must be nice being a male...

It is.......

Trockm

Dr.Chemix wrote: »

Trockm wrote: »

Why wouldn't you wanna dish out your best shit every time you get busy???? I'm trying to leave my mark!

lol! ya kno! Like they doing most of the work...nigga just get his dick sucked and he ready to fuck in all positions with one cowgirl session thrown in...the rest is all on us...

VoluptiousVirgo6

You Have To Pace Yourself!!! Give Ya S/O Something To Look Forward Too:)

ICE aka X

Funny woman hold back when men give it their all

ShiveDreadz

If im correct this thread is about the first time going in with someone not necessarily breaking your v.

If so, I would hit it in every position, but im not eating the box till our third tango.

And we gotta be official before i try anything like anal or beating it on the p

AP12

ShiveDreadz wrote: »

If im correct this thread is about the first time going in with someone not necessarily breaking your v.

If so, I would hit it in every position, but im not eating the box till our third tango.

And we gotta be official before i try anything like anal or beating it on the p

uhhh...can you elaborate

CeLLaR-DooR

I wouldn't say hold back...the first time you fuck someone, you don't usually kno' what sorta disgustin' shit they're into...the more you fuck the more they'll open up about it

Sneak Dissa

i'd hate to say it but if it takes a chick a couple of years to get loose i'm probably not gonna be there when it finally happens.

i can understand pacing yourself and all that but there's a certain point where a guy starts to feel like games are being played.