What's It Like Being A Stepfather?

s_a_m_r_i_os_a_m_r_i_o Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited July 2012 in For The Grown & Sexy
If you are currently one, how's it going for you? If you had been once, describe your experience.
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Replies

  • grumpy_new_yorkergrumpy_new_yorker Reppin' The 631 Posts: 5,536 ✭✭✭✭✭
    couldn't do it.
    s_a_m_r_i_o
  • eternalmoneyeternalmoney Posts: 710 ✭✭✭✭
    Its not as bad as the IC makes it seem. The kids are a reflection of the mother so if you can't get along with them there's a pretty good chance your marriage won't last. If they disrespect you they'll disrespect her so and you should know that way before any marriage talk comes about.
    Bodhinex gin
  • BodhiBodhi Posts: 7,637 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's straight
    eternalmoney
  • KaiKai evil nerd bitch from hell Posts: 21,511 Regulator

    lol, @plap, you'd have to actually be a father to know that, being a deadbeat doesn't count
    MsSouthern
  • s_a_m_r_i_os_a_m_r_i_o Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Its not as bad as the IC makes it seem. The kids are a reflection of the mother so if you can't get along with them there's a pretty good chance your marriage won't last. If they disrespect you they'll disrespect her so and you should know that way before any marriage talk comes about.
    It's straight

    When you met the mother, did you have kids yourself or no kids?
  • HustleTreeHustleTree Posts: 2,419 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Ive never dealt with a chick with kids so i cant say....But my homeboy and has been with a chick for like 10 years now and he looks at her shorty like his own son. So guess its not that bad
  • HafBaykedHafBayked Top of the BootPosts: 11,908 ✭✭✭✭✭
    i didnt take the actual stepfather role...but i've lived with a girl who had a daughter....i would hate when her daddy came to see her b/c she would try to still be up under me and shit, pullin on my leg......i'd just go outside
  • 7figz7figz Ig'nant Posts: 11,655 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It's probably fucked up.

    Responsible for supporting some kids that aren't yours ?

    Then, what if the mother doesn't make them to respect you ?

    Or if their real father is still in their lives ?

    Or hearing them say "You ain't my father !"
    s_a_m_r_i_oChicityCopper
  • eternalmoneyeternalmoney Posts: 710 ✭✭✭✭
    @s_a_m_r_i_o

    Nah, no kids when we hooked up but we went to high school together, we just met back up later in life. Who her kids father is will effect your relationship too. My step kids dad is a thorough dude so that helped a lot. If the chick getting drama from the ex it will definitely effect your your relationship, most guys will want to distance themself from a messy situation but I never had to deal with that.
  • s_a_m_r_i_os_a_m_r_i_o Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Chicity wrote: »
    Just as difficult as being a father

    No difference

    It's a huge difference. The poster above you posted a few.

  • eternalmoneyeternalmoney Posts: 710 ✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2012
    Chicity wrote: »
    Just as difficult as being a father

    No difference

    It's a huge difference. The poster above you posted a few.

    Those weren't even good examples. Those were hoodrat examples.

    Respect is earned not forced so if the mom has to make them respect you, its already a failure.

    You can make a kid eat vegetables, you can't make them respect your spouse.

    And if the father isn't in their lives, that means the woman you chose doesn't make good choices.
    Chicity
  • s_a_m_r_i_os_a_m_r_i_o Posts: 2,089 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Chicity wrote: »
    Just as difficult as being a father

    No difference

    It's a huge difference. The poster above you posted a few.

    Those weren't even good examples. Those were hoodrat examples.

    Respect is earned not forced so if the mom has to make them respect you, its already a failure.

    You can make a kid eat vegetables, you can't make them respect your spouse.

    And if the father isn't in their lives, that means the woman you chose doesn't make good choices.

    Majority of the fathers aren't in their lives so about 80% of them made bad choices so we agree there. Most men who don't have kids want a woman without them. A man wifes up a female with child, since he's the husband, he'll feel second place to a lame nigga she had the child by.
  • texas409texas409 Posts: 15,065 ✭✭✭✭✭
    i couldn't imagine myself settleing with a woman with kids so no
  • eternalmoneyeternalmoney Posts: 710 ✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2012
    Chicity wrote: »
    Just as difficult as being a father

    No difference

    It's a huge difference. The poster above you posted a few.

    Those weren't even good examples. Those were hoodrat examples.

    Respect is earned not forced so if the mom has to make them respect you, its already a failure.

    You can make a kid eat vegetables, you can't make them respect your spouse.

    And if the father isn't in their lives, that means the woman you chose doesn't make good choices.

    Majority of the fathers aren't in their lives so about 80% of them made bad choices so we agree there. Most men who don't have kids want a woman without them. A man wifes up a female with child, since he's the husband, he'll feel second place to a lame nigga she had the child by.


    The bolded is just dumb speculation and immaturity. Ain't no man on this earth can make me feel like less than a man. Before I got married I messed with girls with kids and never been disrespected or felt belittled. If you gone feel like a lame, it's a 100% chance you are a lame.



    Chicity
  • Melanin_Enriched Melanin_Enriched Your favorite basketball-american gentleman Posts: 20,867 ✭✭✭✭✭
    idk, pm blazini
    ChicityChasin Bundlez
  • Lou_CypherLou_Cypher I'm a nice guy. AlaskaPosts: 30,135 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I can respect a dude who takes care of the kid like his own, i got a step dad. Dont have the closest relationship with him but dude took care of me since i was 8.

    Unless the mom is a hoe then i laugh at the poor guy.
    eternalmoney
  • Crude_Crude_ Legend Posts: 16,866 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'm a guy with no kids and pursued a woman with no kids and we've been together for a while. I'm not the type of guy thats trying to be dealing some other man's offspring living in my house. Besides not having the connection and the bond with the child like you would if it was yours you also have another man always coming around and shit. Naw I'm good on that. Props to those niggaz that deal with that but I'm not built like that and will not deal with it.
    Copper
  • Chasin BundlezChasin Bundlez Posts: 2,588 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It could definitely become overwhelming at times, I got at least 20 kids on this forum alone.
    Meta_Conscious
  • GettinLoGettinLo Posts: 8,013 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2012
    Technically, I'm a stepdad and it's never been a problem. I've been there since lil dude was 16 months old, so he knows no one else except me...

    Wifey and I have been married for 15 years and we've never, ever, ever had issues about how I've raised him... matter of fact, this morning she was giving a nigga props fr being a great dad.

    I did have to knuckle down the sperm donor on a Christmas night once tho.
  • J-GUTTAJ-GUTTA Posts: 8,478 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Somewhere Kat is dying to post in this thread....

    Props to those who can I could never I even tell chicks at bars/clubs I don't like kids off the bat....before you ask ya women even on 1 night stands tell you if they have kid(s) in the initial convo.
  • t_m_a_c_f_a_n73088t_m_a_c_f_a_n73088 Posts: 8,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2012
    I avoided my wife like crazy when we first met(we worked together) because I knew she had a kid. After we started kickin it shit wasn't nearly as bad as I thought. The kid is just an extension of the parent so normally if you really have love for the mom you won't mind the kid unless you just can't stand kids period. I completely understand niggas saying they would never do it/staying away, I was on the same shit...
    Lou_Cyphereternalmoney
  • supYosupYo Posts: 5,790 ✭✭✭✭✭
    must be some crazy shit, especially knowin the relationship aint forever

    my main man is a "stepfahter" to his chicks son...they live together n shit

    he told the boy is callin him his father n that he loves him

    now its crazy that my mate is dark, hes indian

    the white boy callin him father...its crazy

    when u go leave ur chick, the kid will be hurt mos def
  • KaiKai evil nerd bitch from hell Posts: 21,511 Regulator

    being a step-parent, i don't think it's right for a child to call you mom or dad when you are not.
  • Jameson_Porcupine Jameson_Porcupine Vox Populi Posts: 19,558 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This guy knows...

  • BodhiBodhi Posts: 7,637 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @s_a_m_r_i_o.. Nah, I don't have any biological kids as of right now
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