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Drunk College Student Got Stuck Between Two Buildings, Requires Rescue from Firefighters (W/Pics)

Young_ChitlinYoung_Chitlin YCN Chief/FCC Member/#RedVelvetSquad Member/IC Task Force GeneralASUville, PhoenixPosts: 23,384 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited November 2012 in Growing Pains
By: Taylor Berman

A 22-year-old college student in Rhode Island learned the hard way that, while you can get away with a lot of dumb drunken shit in college, what you absolutely cannot do is defy basic physics and do something like run through an eight-inch wide alley. For reason's that escape even her, Courtney Malloy attempted to run through the narrow alley way and, of course, got stuck.

The Providence fire department was called to the scene after witnesses heard her yelling for help.

"She was completely shaking and panicking and out of shape," witness David Boutros, who owns a nearby bar, told the station. "She was panicking, she looked like she had a few alcohol… She didn't know what to do. She was stuck between two buildings. She was trapped and she was breathing heavy."

Apparently, not only was she stuck in the alley, she was stuck in the alley over two feet off the ground.

"It appears she was trying to make her way through the alley, and it got too tight for her," acting Battalion Chief Jeffrey Varone told NBC-10 News. "She kept trying to get her way in, and she wedged herself in, about 24 inches off the ground in a horizontal position, and she was unable to move."

Because of the whole "24 inches off the ground" part, firefighters initially thought she'd fallen from one of the rooftops but no, it was just pure drunken determination that got here there.

Rescuers had to remove a fence and bash in part of the alley's concrete walls to free her, a process that took over an hour.

When reached for comment, Malloy said: "But you know what I learned from this? Nothing. I learned nothing. It's just something that happened (and it just so happens that it happened to me). Life is crazy. But I already knew that last Thursday, and so did you."

Wait, nevermind, that was someone else. Malloy told WPRI that she was trying out a shortcut and that's how she became stuck.

Despite the embarrassment and probable hangover, Malloy was fine and back at work the next day.
¡No contaban con mi astucia!
5 Grand wrote: »
I see a lot of people saying they'd "give" family members money.

Thats not what you want to do.

You want to set up a trust fund so they get a monthly payment. You can set up a trust fund so your mother gets, say, $10,000 a month for the rest of her life. According to my math, $10,000 per month for 20 years is $2.4 million. That's better than giving her $2.4 million up front because she can blow it all in a matter of days and then she'll want more and you'd feel obligated to give it to her.

So if you win, don't "give" anybody anything. Set up a trust fund.

Now that I think about it, I could set up a trust fund for my brother. I'd give him $10,000 a month. He's about 45 now so $10,000 per month for 40 years is only $4.8 million. That makes more sense than giving him the money in one lump sum.

AggyAF wrote: »
Anyone else think it's crazy only about 10 posters regularly post here and we got damn near 500 pages?

All the other sports threads on here are people with hobbies. This is football - the beautiful game. We eat, sleep and drink football.


ParallelBuilt 4 cuban linx


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