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Patton Oswalt Gets Brutally Honest About The Failures Of ‘Blade: Trinity’

Black_SamsonBlack_Samson do 10 pushups everytime you read my post... you know you want too.Posts: 61,475 Regulator
When the first Blade movie hit theater screens in August of 1998 it became a surprise smash hit and accomplished several noteworthy goals: it gave Wesley Snipes an iconic movie hero in the mold of Rambo and John McClane to call his own, spawned one of New Line Cinema’s most lucrative franchises since the heyday of Freddy Krueger and the Ninja Turtles, and it proved that Marvel Comics characters could successfully headline their own motion picture adventures, thus paving the way for Spider-Man, the X-Men, and the Avengers to rule the box office in the years that followed. It took four years for a sequel to come together but with Guillermo Del Toro at the helm, Blade II surpassed the original in every way and became one of the best comic book movie sequels of all. The rapturous reception from moviegoers and critics that greeted Blade II helped revive Del Toro’s American directing career.

Expectations were high for a third Blade movie; at one point German filmmaker Oliver Hirschbiegel (Downfall) was rumored to take the reins for a post-apocalyptic sequel that would have had Snipes’ monosyllabic vampire hunter continue his neverending battle in a world dominated by the bloodthirsty undead. Instead David S. Goyer, the screenwriter who was instrumental in bringing Blade to the big screen, signed on to write and direct the movie that would be released in December 2004 as Blade: Trinity. The end result has since been deemed by many to be one of the worse comic book movies ever made, if not the absolute worse. Make no mistake friends, if you’ve never seen the movie you’re not missing anything at all. It’s atrocious. In the annals of superhero it ranks with the likes of Superman IV: The Quest for Peace and Elektra. Blade: Trinity makes other maligned third chapters of comic book movie franchises like X-Men: The Last Stand and Spider-Man 3 look like masterpieces in comparison.

Much has been written since Blade: Trinity crawled out of theaters on its belly shortly after it made its premiere of the battles behind the scenes between Snipes and Goyer that far surpassed any and all of the movie’s many carnage-packed showdowns between Blade and his bloodsucking archenemies. One person who was there for nearly every dark second was actor, writer, and stand-up comedian Patton Oswalt. In a recent career-spanning interview with the A.V. Club, Oswalt, who had a small supporting role as a tech geek supplying Blade with some killer weaponry that barely gets used, talked extensively and candidly about the problems that plagued the movie’s production from the very beginning. Not surprisingly, executives at New Line Cinema took issue with the tone Goyer wanted to establish for Blade: Trinity:
There’s a scene where Blade goes in and confronts this guy for harvesting humans. That scene was supposed to be the whole basis of the film. Blade is fighting for the last shred of humanity. But they thought that it was just so fucking grim, so they decided to just have Blade fighting Dracula. It was just one of those; it was a very troubled production.

Oswalt learned soon after joining the production that due to his unorthodox acting methods the star playing the movie’s titular hero was less than approachable when the cameras weren’t rolling:
When I met him I was like, “Hi!” And he was like, “I’m Blade.” And also, Natasha Lyonne was on that set, and she was going through some kind of mental breakdown. Wesley is all boundaries, and she has no boundaries. She played a blind computer expert. So the first scene they had together, she put her hand right on his face, and he just recoiled. It was awesome.

According to Oswalt, Snipes dealt with his increasing lack of interest in the movie by turning to copious amounts of marijuana and sometimes his own insecurity would lead to tense showdowns with the besieged Goyer:
Wesley [Snipes] was just fucking crazy in a hilarious way. He wouldn’t come out of his trailer, and he would smoke weed all day. Which is fine with me, because I had all these DVDs that I wanted to catch up on. We were in Vancouver, and it was always raining. I kept the door to my trailer open to smell the evening rain while I was watching a movie. Then I remember one day on the set—they let everyone pick their own clothes—there was one black actor who was also kind of a club kid. And he wore this shirt with the word “Garbage” on it in big stylish letters. It was his shirt. And Wesley came down to the set, which he only did for close-ups. Everything else was done by his stand-in. I only did one scene with him. But he comes on and goes, “There’s only one other black guy in the movie, and you make him wear a shirt that says ‘Garbage?’ You racist motherfucker!” And he tried to strangle the director, David Goyer.

The slow deterioration of Snipes and Goyer’s professional relationship ultimately led to the director taking matters into his hands to deal with his temperamental lead actor in ways both humorous and dead serious, much like the tone of the Blade series:
So we went out that night to some strip club, and we were all drinking. And there were a bunch of bikers there, so David says to them, “I’ll pay for all your drinks if you show up to set tomorrow and pretend to be my security.” Wesley freaked out and went back to his trailer. [Laughs.] And the next day, Wesley sat down with David and was like, “I think you need to quit. You’re detrimental to this movie.” And David was like, “Why don’t you quit? We’ve got all your close-ups, and we could shoot the rest with your stand-in.” And that freaked Wesley out so much that, for the rest of the production, he would only communicate with the director through Post-it notes. And he would sign each Post-it note “From Blade.”

One of the problems Snipes had with the movie that he was not shy about voicing was the shifting of the narrative focus from Blade’s battle against the vampire hordes and their chosen leader Dracula (played by thick-necked Australian actor Dominic Purcell) to setting up a spin-off franchise based around the Nightstalkers, younger vampire slayers played by Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel who ended up taking away a chunk of Snipes’ screen time. As a result, the action hero would only show up for filming when absolutely necessary. Oswalt and the other actors found humorous ways to liven up the dour proceedings:
A lot of the lines that Ryan Reynolds has were just a result of Wesley not being there. We would all just think of things for him to say and then cut to Wesley’s face not doing anything because that’s all we could get from him. It was kind of funny. We were like, “What are the worst jokes and puns that we can say to this guy?” And then it would just be his face going, “Mmm.” “Smiles are contagious.” It’s so, so dumb. [Laughs.] That was an example of a very troubled shoot that we made fun. You have to find a way to make it fun.

Well I’m glad they had fun, but after one viewing of Blade: Trinity I was left wishing I had some of that primo shit Snipes was smoking in his trailer to relieve my psychic misery. Live and learn.

if i were an FBI Agent tasked with monitoring a forum, I'd post random pictures and watch the reactions of the people.

Você é um otário. Zé buceta. Vai tomar no meio do seu cu. Filho da puta. Arrombado
King Of The Onomatopoeia


  • Mr. 66HundredMr. 66Hundred Posts: 1,124 ✭✭✭
    Blade Trinity is a good rental
    not a horrible movie in my opinion because I enjoyed it

    Ryan Reynolds character was actually my favorite part of the movie

    Dracula was a bitch... the nigga turned into a fuckin half-man half-dragon at the end of the movie

    I don't remember any of Blade's dialogue except when the white bitch was cryin and Blade was like "Use it!!!!"

    I liked how they brought the "Blade goes ham" right out in the beginning of the movie when he beat the shit outta all them dudes that had kidnapped him
    they usually wait till the end of the movie before they let him power up and kill everybody

    I hated that Whistler died

    I liked the Ryan Reynolds/Triple H fight too
  • RawAceRawAce Posts: 4,800 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I doubt wesley snipes said " you racist motherfucker"

    i can believe it if he said "hunh,see,i knew it, you aint nothin but a ole racist ass mutha'fucka"
  • ShencotheMCShencotheMC KING Posts: 25,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Word Dracula was a bitch. Why was that nigga running from Blade when they first met up?
  • Black_SamsonBlack_Samson do 10 pushups everytime you read my post... you know you want too. Posts: 61,475 Regulator
    How the fuck deacon fucking frost was more of a problem tho?
    if i were an FBI Agent tasked with monitoring a forum, I'd post random pictures and watch the reactions of the people.

    Você é um otário. Zé buceta. Vai tomar no meio do seu cu. Filho da puta. Arrombado
    King Of The Onomatopoeia
    Already Home_17SocialAssassinRatiDr.Chemixgns
  • ShencotheMCShencotheMC KING Posts: 25,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    How the fuck deacon fucking frost was more of a problem tho?

    Idk, but Deacon Frost had a way iller crew than Dracula.
    Already Home_17SocialAssassinRatiDr.Chemixgns
  • 1CK1S1CK1S Posts: 27,472 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2012
    A few things about the film....

    1. The movie was originally set to come out in August 2004 for but for the dumbest reason they pushed the release date to December the same year

    2. The film came out the same weekend as the Oceans sequel

    3. The ending pretty much sets up a spinoff with the Ryan Reynolds/Jessica Biel characters

    4. The ending also sets up another blade film (though the thought of that happening is dead with snipes being in jail)
    I don't have dreams I have goals. Dreams are what you have when you are sleep. Goals are what you strive to reach when you are awake!
  • AmotekunAmotekun Posts: 7,820 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Blade Trilogy was definitely some hot doo doo, only thing that
    came out of it was Ryan Reynolds stock as an action star shot up.

  • Disciplined InSightDisciplined InSight The Clairvoyant One.... Posts: 13,478 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2012
    Blade:Trilogy wasn't that bad though..
    To be a real hood you need more than just a gun. You need ideas.

    Already Home_17SionLUClEN
  • VIBEVIBE Posts: 54,060 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The first two were fucking bad ass, the third was alright.
  • CitySojournerCitySojourner Posts: 689 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2012
    While i'll be the first to admit that the tempestuous nature on set was primarily a result of Wesley Snipes, the studio did screw him over by not obligating the contract and giving him final say of director. Goyer had never directed a film before and despite Wesley Snipes disapproval the studio still went with him. So Snipes had no interest or motivation to do the film, but was contractually obligated to.

    Also, with the exception of A-Team, i've come to the conclusion that anything Jessica Biel is in ends up being a piece of shit. That's how I know that new wolverine movie is gonna be garbage, they approached her to be in it but she dropped out for one reason or another. She looks good, but she's a shitty actress and does shitty movies.

    God bless her though.
  • Will MunnyWill Munny Eatin pussy and kickin ass Posts: 29,960 ✭✭✭✭✭
    man when I was in like 9th grade the original blade was the shiiiiiiiiiiet.
    Times are tough, but they ain't got nothin' on me.
  • Bcotton5Bcotton5 Posts: 51,689 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • CopperCopper The WickPosts: 49,244 ✭✭✭✭✭
    “There’s only one other black guy in the movie, and you make him wear a shirt that says ‘Garbage?’ You racist motherfucker!”

    I lol'd at this shit....

    but reading this shit I can now see how the film turned out so shitty...the actors made a joke out of the dialouge, the director was more focused on seeting up a spin-off that never came to be while taking the story and screen time away from the title character who made the film what it was, the whole blade vs dracula shit was just mad corny it should have been michael morbius instead of some wack b movie looking dracula...
  • SocialAssassinRatiSocialAssassinRati Posts: 1,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    How you have Passenger 57 fighting the nigga from CSI and expect to have a hit movie...Blade 3 was straight diet hot garbage juice...but it wasnt any worse than the fucking Matrix Revolutions...that movie was all kinds of FUBAR
  • CopperCopper The WickPosts: 49,244 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ghostrider, daredevil, elektra, batman and robin and spiderman 3 had to be the WOAT comic to film flicks
  • SocialAssassinRatiSocialAssassinRati Posts: 1,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    CopperKing wrote: »
    ghostrider, daredevil, elektra, batman and robin and spiderman 3 had to be the WOAT comic to film flicks

    Blade 3>>> all those shits u listed

    I think because Blade 1 and 2 were so fucking epic Blade 3 being just an avg movie looks like a shitbomb...but it wasnt THAT bad it was just avg as fuck.
  • Mr. 66HundredMr. 66Hundred Posts: 1,124 ✭✭✭
    CopperKing wrote: »
    ghostrider, daredevil, elektra, batman and robin and spiderman 3 had to be the WOAT comic to film flicks

    Shidd have you ever seen the Original Flash and Captain America movies? Straight doo doo

  • The Lonious MonkThe Lonious Monk Man with No Fucks Given Posts: 25,923 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Blade 3 wasn't nearly as bad as some make it seem. The original plot for it sounded better, but Blade vs Dracula should have been much better than it turned out. It actually fit the trilogy of villains better too. Blade 1 - vampire god, Blade 2 - vampire evolution, Blade 3 - vampire archetype
    Niggas think that they own things and man sits high upon thrones
    But when you die, tell me what the fuck you own.
    When your skin, flesh, and bones find a permanent home
    as food for worms or fossils trapped in stone. - Rza in "What's Going On?"

  • CopperCopper The WickPosts: 49,244 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I was speaking about films in the modern movie era...visually u cant compare a film today to something that was made in the 80s or early 90s

    and blade 3's dialaogue was cheezy as fuk ( now we know why b/c all the actors was making a game out of it), the acting was terrible and the villian was just too cartoonish...(he looked like a giagantic lizard more than a vampire)
  • Mr. 66HundredMr. 66Hundred Posts: 1,124 ✭✭✭
    and damn near all the superman movies....what about fucking Supergirl tho...anybody remember that bullshit?

    And lets not even talk about RoboCop and its bullshit...

    While we talking about black superheroes Hollywood need to go ahead and get on that Spawn remake train....that movie was ahead of its time in terms of tech needed to legit pull it off, black lead hero, and plot.

    They need to give Al Simmons his just due for real this time...stop making all these stupid ass saltine ass superhero movies and do Spawn like they did Dark Knight...he's a character with real depth and shit.

    Aye the first Robocop was the shit

    Judge Dredd was so fuckin horrible that its flaws gave the movie replay value

    The Crow was a hard ass concept but the franchise when straight to the shitter when Brandon Lee died

    Spawn was shit turds too
  • SocialAssassinRatiSocialAssassinRati Posts: 1,638 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Robocop 1 was the shit even 2 was pretty good but after that shit was like some nigga had LSD on their soul or soemthing
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