Ladies: Why You Can’t Find/Keep a Good Man

ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited December 2012 in For The Grown & Sexy



I hear a lot of women talking about how “There are no good men”. Well quite frankly I’m tired of hearing that. Its time for a reality check. See when a woman goes to a pastor, family members or a best friend (usually some other bitter bitch) for relationship advice, she’s given advice that is meant to comfort her and not give her the truth.

Getting advice from one of those aforementioned people is pretty useless because they are giving advice that is meant to make a woman feel better about herself and not give her what she actually needs to hear. This is especially true when a woman listens to her girlfriends who themselves are manless, are dating a loser and/or are whores. It’s like the blind leading the blind…over a cliff and into a meat grinder.

The truth hurts and no one wants to give advice out that might make someone feel even shittier than they already do. I, however, have no qualms about doing that. Ladies, the reason you can’t find/keep a good man is because YOU are the problem. It’s that simple. Women almost never accept responsibility for their own fuckups when it comes to relationships and even when they attempt to, it’s usually just some scapegoat way of blaming the dude i.e. “I was stupid for thinking that he was a good dude”.

Let’s see. You’re approaching 30, you’ve been in and out of relationships, every time you think you meet a good guy it falls apart…seriously, at what point do you stop blaming it on men and start doing some self examination? The real common denominator in your failures is you.

Now let me explain why you can’t keep a man. It’s actually very simple. You can’t keep a man because you don’t try to keep a man. First off, women have started to believe this myth that they are somehow simple to please whereas men are complicated. It’s the opposite. When it comes to relationships, women can’t even figure out for themselves what they want and they want men to be overnight experts.

Men on the other hand are very simple creatures. A relationship to us is a simple cost benefit analysis: Does our time and money bring us a reasonable set of benefits? Women don’t seem to be aware of the sacrifices men make to try to please them. Let me break down the money and time parts for you:

I’m convinced women don’t know, don’t appreciate or don’t care how much money a man typically burns on trying to keep them happy. Let’s break down with some very conservative and basic numbers. Let’s say a man takes a woman out once a week for dinner and a movie. A dinner at a decent restaurant (Non-chain) is going to run you about $50 – $60.

That doesn’t include any alcoholic beverages. Including drinks and tip, you’re looking at about $70 – $80. Movie tickets for two will run you $20 and add an extra $5 – $10 if there are snacks involved. You’re looking at about $70 – $100 a week, $280 – $400 a month. That’s $1120 – $1200 every 3 months. That’s a damn mortgage payment. And that’s just dinner and a movie once a week.

That doesn’t include birthdays, Christmas, Valentines Day, anniversaries, etc. Now I know the typical woman response is “But I spend about that much for clothes, hair and other things I do for you.” Bullshit. This isn’t like doing your taxes. You can’t write off your everyday, normal expenses. Its not even in the same ballpark.

Our entire lives, men are raised to be keepers of their own time. As little boys we are in essence raised to take care of ourselves and do what we want with our time. Being in a relationship means a lot of sacrificing of that freedom. We have to sit on the phone and talk about how fucked up your day was. We have to deal with the bullshit drama that you get yourself into when you hang out with bitches that aren’t really your friends but you’re either too stupid to see it or completely unwilling to change it (Yet we have to hear you bitch about our friends). Even when we stay in and you come over, we have to deal with you sitting there interrupting and disturbing our “fortress of solitude” by asking questions and wanting to “talk” while the game is on. But we deal with it. No, we don’t enjoy talking to you for hours on end.

Yeah, we might tell you we do, but we don’t. See, when we hang out with our boys and bitch about things, if we’re told “Damn dude, that was fucking stupid, don’t do that”, we don’t cry about that being too harsh, we take the advice. However in a relationship with women, we have to hear you bitch about stupid shit going on with you and then watch as you refuse to take our advice. Then 2 weeks later we’re right back where we started and have to listen to the bullshit over again.

It’s a complete waste of our time but we know we have to do it so we suck it up and deal with it.
So this is typically what happens. A woman meets a nice guy; they hit it off and start dating. It starts off wonderful. They talk for hours on the phone, he takes her out and things really seem to be meshing. Then after about 3 – 4 months, things start to change.

They don’t go out as much, he spends more time with his boys/watching the game/playing Xbox, they don’t talk as much and he feels more distant. After about 6 months there’s a noticeable change and things fall apart and a woman is left wondering “What the hell happened?” What happened was the guy did a cost-benefit analysis and the results weren’t in your favor.

A man has put in his time and his money and he’s looked into what exactly he’s getting back from it and the answer was “Not much.” This always happens. Talk to any woman and she’ll say “Things started off great but after a few months he changed.” Look, he didn’t change…he got bored.

Relationships are like hourglass sand timers. If you don’t switch things up, the sand will run out and it’ll be over. Let’s be frank, the only benefit most women are providing to a man is a steady supply of sex and that’s not going to cut it in the long run. Sex has a 3 month shelf life before it becomes just another thing to do. Women have fallen into this mindset that all a man needs to be happy is good sex. *sigh* Please. That might get you in the door, but you’ll be quickly ushered out if that’s all you’re bringing to the table.

First and foremost, your pussy devalues over time much like the way a new car depreciates in value the moment you drive it off the lot. Also, much like a car, newer models come out all the time and your pussy is replaceable. There’s nothing a woman can do to stop this. Sure you can switch things up in the bedroom and make things more “exciting” but all that does is postpone the inevitable. So, in order to keep your man you need more than just sex. Any woman can provide a man with sex, what you want is something that you can provide that most woman can’t or won’t. Again, men are simple creatures; we don’t need or ask for much:

Cook - The new trend with women these days seems to be that a lot of them either can’t cook or they don’t cook for their man. The saying “The way to a man’s heart is through is stomach” is one of the few sayings that is actually true. Cooking is such a basic survival skill I’m baffled by ANYONE who says they can’t cook. It’s not rocket science here people. If you can put together a banging ass meal at least 2 times a month, I’m telling you…your man isn’t leaving you.


  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2012
    Cater to him – When you had a rough day we’re expected to rub your feet, get you dinner and generally sit around and listen through your bitch fest. Is it too much to ask that when we come home from a hard day and have a headache that you come over and take care of us? I’m not saying this has to be a one-to-one thing, but every once in a while it makes a man feel good to be able to come relax and not have to worry about anything because his girl is going to take care of him. Think about it. Women always have a laundry list of things their man should be doing for them…but how many of them can truly list things they do to take care of their man (That don’t involve sex).

    Learn about his hobby and engage in it with him

    If your man loves football, learn about football. That doesn’t mean asking him to teach you about it or asking 50 million questions in the middle of the game. Go to the library or Google or your father/uncles/brothers and learn from them. You don’t have to love it or even like it but you have to pretend. Hell, we do it all the time with you.

    We don’t like shopping with you, dealing with your emotional outbursts or half the shit we do with you…but we pretend. A little reciprocity would be nice. Learning from someone else other than him shows that you care. We have to show we care about things you do all the time so it only makes sense that you return the favor. Trust me, you show some form of interest in what he is doing and it’ll be easier to get him to take a break from it.

    Hit the gym -

    It might seem trivial but the truth is your looks matter. As a matter of fact, any man that says he doesn’t care about his woman’s looks needs to have his sexuality checked. Men want the trophy wife/girlfriend. If your man is going to the gym and working out and you’re not, just go ahead and start preparing yourself for the break up.

    Look, your bullshit tofu-only diet might make you drop some weight but its not getting you in shape. When your man goes to the gym, he sees women that are either working out with their man or just working out for themselves.

    Immediately he thinks “why doesn’t my girl do that?” All it takes is one friendly conversation with a single lady who is working out at the gym for your man to start thinking “Damn, why am I not sleeping with this chick?” Beside that it also shows that you actually care about your own health. A woman that is working out now is more likely to keep that up after she’s pumped out some kids. That’s a huge plus to a man.
    There’s a recurring theme with the things I mentioned. If you don’t cook or cater to your man or hit the gym, some other woman will.

    Men attract the most women when they are in a relationship. Other women are gunning for your man and if you aren’t bringing anything to the table you will lose him. It’s a myth that men are afraid of commitment. Most men don’t mind commitment when it comes to a woman that handles her business. Men are just overly cautious about commitment because the whole purpose of being in a relationship with a woman is to eventually get married. So if a woman isn’t really bringing much to the table now, why the hell would he want to commit long term to that? We recognize and appreciate women who hold it down. All men have that one friend that is deeply committed to his great girlfriend/wife.

    We clown him excessively for being whipped but we would NEVER try to get him to break up with her because we all know she’s good for him. When we come over to watch the game, she’s there wearing a jersey, cooking food and handing out beers. Or she can kick his ass in Halo 3 and in essence makes all her man’s friends jealous that he has such a great woman while their girl is bringing nothing. Why does she do that? Because she knows if she doesn’t do it, some other woman will be.

    Now I’m sure some woman will hit back with “Oh there’s things yall need to do too” and that’s true. However, there’s two things with that. First off, some women have a knack for dealing with men they know they shouldn’t. If you’re going for the “thug type” then don’t bitch when shit doesn’t work out. You know when a man isn’t a good match for you, but you convince yourself that you can change him. Let me be very clear with this: You Can’t!!! Stop wasting your time and trying.

    Secondly, while good men out there do need to stay up on their game, the numbers work way better in our favor. There are more women than men so if a man fucks up with a good woman, he still has a good chance of finding another good woman.

    I’m not condoning a man’s fuck ups, I’m just acknowledging that the field is much smaller for women. Due to this women have to make themselves irreplaceable. Most women have dated good guys but it doesn’t work out because they don’t put in work into it (Or they dated someone they knew they shouldn’t have…which is another topic). You can’t have a list of criteria of what a man should do and then expect the only thing you have to do is give up the vajayjay. You’ve been trying that way for a minute and it hasn’t work. Don’t you think its about time to switch it up?
  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
  • ra-mes1ra-mes1 Posts: 420 ✭✭
    2 times a month? Damn I've really been putting unnecessary pressure on myself

    But more is better. As a dude, I do/did (separated right now) most of the cooking in my marriage. I happen to like cooking...but damn, I wish she didn't learn to do WAY more.
  • PiffyHazePiffyHaze Posts: 1,814 ✭✭✭✭✭
    what yu said is what i want from a women. but some are too self center
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    your pussy devalues over time much like the way a new car depreciates in value the moment you drive it off the lot. Also, much like a car, newer models come out all the time and your pussy is replaceable

  • A1000MILESA1000MILES Posts: 13,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thread will either fail miserably or do astronomical numbers...
    tha bause
  • NeighborhoodNomad. NeighborhoodNomad. Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭✭✭
    GOAT, Ether, and CS.
    The truth has been spoken.

    Can I also add that supporting your mans ideas, goals, and decisions is major.
  • A1000MILESA1000MILES Posts: 13,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    50 dollas for decent dinner for two is fuckin retarded though...Niggas get mad cause they choose to trick...
    AggyAFsoul rattler
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 42,195 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It started off well enough, but towards the end it picks up the typical "men have more options so we have more room to fuck up" vibe and pretty much ruined the entire article for me.

  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Mzgraham.that's not reason to become a carpet's just that you women are in denial on alot of shit and make very bad choices in men.becoming lesbos wont make anything better.women cheat just as much as men
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 42,195 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I won't argue with that, but I think men need to clean up their own yards before worrying about how to 'fix' women.

    It's seems to me that men feel like they can do as they please because they have 'options'.

  • Jameson_Porcupine Jameson_Porcupine Vox Populi Posts: 21,504 ✭✭✭✭✭
    *Didn't read article but gonna make a quarter-informed post based on other people's opinions post*
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 42,195 ✭✭✭✭✭
    this shit again? this will go on for about 20 pages and turn into 3 different threads before it dies its deserved slow death...

    lmao..yeah you're right, let me check out of this shit now.
  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    it's like long as the sex is good and the money is right women will deal with any BS a man throws at her and he takes advantage of that,men know the weakness of a woman so he uses it to his advantage.i
  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    this contrived gender war is old.

    it may be old,but it still exist to this's a repeated cycle
  • PurrPurr Evil Chuck Season. Jumpman jumpman Jumpman dat girl up to something!!!Posts: 31,010 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thank you matt.
  • BOSSExcellenceBOSSExcellence all these dollars.. no sense. Posts: 14,463 ✭✭✭✭✭
    real men want real women..
    and they have real relationships.

    Skyler White
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Thank you matt.

    I long for the day mahlady invites me into her home
  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    people continue to buy those crock of shit books,and it's mostly women buying it.btw dont blame me for the reason women cant find a good man or dont know a good man to save her life.We men learn from you ladies anyway on how to treat you that's why so many men are dogs.
  • ImTheKangRoundHereImTheKangRoundHere Posts: 4,649 ✭✭✭✭✭
    lol@fatherless nigga mentally oh wow.and you women wonder why you will always be considered cum dumpsters
    KatSkyler White
  • Knock_TwiceKnock_Twice Getting it out the mud Posts: 3,753 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2012
    people continue to buy those crock of shit books,and it's mostly women buying it.btw dont blame me for the reason women cant find a good man or dont know a good man to save her life.We men learn from you ladies anyway on how to treat you that's why so many men are dogs.

    Yo..this is the most blinded truest statement that alotttt of ppl are sleeping on Lol..

    smh when I came to the realization of this became so easy to weed out the hoes from the real women..
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