The Fall of Uptown (With Summary in OP)

Cain1 · December 2012

This Thread is a merging of ALL the threads that were previously deleted by Uptown and those currently going on.

First let's summarize the events that occurred then let all the hilarity ensue:

1. Uptown makes this thread http://community.allhiphop.com/discussion/485529/random-facebook-friend-request-should-uptown-smash-or-pass/p1

2. He claims to be questioning whether or not he should smash/pass a girl (@chanita717) that has requested him on Facebook ("should Uptown do it?")

3. She is made aware of the thread being made and at first is told it is some guy named Craig Lewis (http://www.facebook.com/craiggeez)

4. She makes an account to call out "Craig" and his photos are dropped

5. Craig is shitted on until everyone realizes that it is not Uptown

6. Uptown has his photo posted and Chanita places the link to the thread on her facebook where one of her friends identify Uptown

7. Chanita states she has never met Uptown and that he looks like Francine from Arthur

8. Uptown logs on to see that he is getting shitted on in various formats for lying about knowing her and her sending him a friend request (who the fuck lies about receiving a friend request lmao)

9. Uptown proceeds to spend hours deleting every thread that pops up and every post that is created in regards to the situation

10. Chanita is pissed off about this and fires back on Facebook through her statuses http://www.facebook.com/chanita.canidate (they are all still there)

11. Uptown finally speaks and says he has dirt on Chanita and she needs to calm down...turns out the dirt is that he knows she used to get beat in a relationhip...yeah...

12. Chanita proceeds to talk shit

Side Note: Craig Lewis ended up winning because Chanita let him get a hand job after feeling bad for calling him out. 12/12/12 is Craig Lewis Day.

Stopitfive · December 2012

chanita717 wrote: »

Hey guys, I got an inbox message and a call while I was working in regards to this post. Thanks for the love, and NEWSFLASH: I AM NOT GOING TO BE EVERYONE's CUP OF TEA. I got over thinking that crazily in the third grade, and I am close to forty now. In other news, water is wet and drinking+driving can kill you. I am not mad, I always sort of wondered how the results would turn out if I were (randomly) in one of these posts. The only problem is that this guy thinks he even has a chance, and well...I will just post my FB reply to his fantasy. If you want to look at it yourself, my name is Chanita Canidate.

"THE GOOD NEWS: I AM A FAMOUS INTERNET SENSATION (If you have ever even heard of this website). THE IFFY NEWS: I am only famous, apparently, for being a 'butterface'. THE STRANGE NEWS: The guy who originally posted this seems to be making potential plans with me, yet has never even bothered to let me in on them. When someone first inboxed me about this thread, my first was who the hell is this guy? I mean literally, I had no idea who he was. But since the good samaritan gave up the guy's government name, I am even more perplexed since the guy who is so confused about whether he should "smash" or "pass" on my ugly a$$ looks like a bizarro version of the fat one from Keenan and Kel. His name is Craig Lewis, and he is a portly schlub who works at a music store in our hometown that is frequented and patronized only by Deejays and people who still buy CD's because they are too dense to realize that you can actually download entire albums off of the internet for free. I'm not turned off or cross about being called ugly or old (or even traany-esque,heh-heh) , I have heard many things in this vein in my lifetime before. (Someone once told me that i look like the black Sandra Bernhardt; and even more macabre--like the face from the Cleveland Indians' old logo/mascot...I was strangely excited by that last one).No, the thing that gets me is that he starts off his rant with stating that I am not "wifey" material because of my hair (hey, I thought it was cute to have a curly mullet for a bit! Besides, is he trying to smash me,pass on me, or MARRY me?!?), and that I probably requested him because of some 'knowledge' that he dropped on a mutual friend's page. WRONG! I AM A FOLLOWER WHO CONFORMS!! If Facebook tells me that I may know this person, I take their damned word for it and request them. Also, I probably do give off a 'hoodrat' vibe because of my exaggerated, cartoonish body (my curves are a blessing and a curse--but what can I do?!?), but I am a grown adult working on her second advanced degree...in English, mind you--so I am more T.S. than Ebonics (so sorry to disappoint), and haven't even lived in the 'hood' for sixteen years...THOUGH I LOVE IT THERE!! But seriously, this guy reminds me of some square who is contemplating which room in the White House he should sleep in, knowing that his old L7 a$$ never even got the presidential nomination in the first place. But hey, Craig Lewis, if you're reading this--I'll still be you Facebook friend if you like, since you think that a friend request is tantamount to me offering up a night or two of heated, sexual, funky, passion. Doggystyle, of course, so I don't have to look at you."

And lastly, since all press is good press and I have your attention, does anyone know where I can get a preowned Ford Mustang for $7,000 or under, preferably under 90,000 miles? Might as well make the best of this!