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I hate being the responsible and unfun parent,

pralimspralims Posts: 7,144
in For The Grown & Sexy
as yall know i have both my kids. and sometimes i have to lay down the law and do the punishing and keep they ass in line. Im cool with that but then the other parent is always trying to show they are the fun and not so restrictive parent.
i take the phone the mother buys a new phone.
i take the allowance the mother gives them a few dollars....fukk
i kick they ass..the mother says i over reacted and wasnt right to get on they good side...shit drives me crazy

i have to deal with the repercussions of a lawless household when they come back to me and i have to make sure they follow the rules and do their homework and shit.

i know the shit will pay off later, but damn the shit gets stressful sometimes.

yall niggas better not have kids for as long as you can.
The Recipedarkone360SleepwalkingInJapanTonyDubbzSionAjackson17King EraunoRosebudd B'DoseDu_Dugh0stBossBooNorthwest TgoldenjaHAF BAYKEDChicityOceanic Valentinez A. Kaiserillestni99ainneTruth Writer
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Replies

  • The RecipeThe Recipe Posts: 2,686
    Growing up my dad was like you and mom was just like your kids mom, I can tell you this, the shit my Dad taught and instilled in me has kept me out of the penitently and out of any major trouble. I think I am a Hybrid parent though, I use a little of both styles of parenting.
    damnkpBossBoomike06
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  • representingda203representingda203 Posts: 2,805
    i know my oldest son got another year and a half of me being the fun parent, and then that shit is stopping, my wife stay spazzin on me telling me i let him get away with everything
    Ajackson17BossBoo
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  • CopperKingCopperKing Posts: 21,710
    beat the shit outta of 'em then take'em to go get ice cream
    iron man1BossBooOceanic
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  • Top CatTop Cat Posts: 11,056
    I rule with a iron fist
    MzGrahamBitches
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  • MzGrahamBitchesMzGrahamBitches Posts: 15,671
    It was the opposite in my family, but I agree that you get it and appreciate it once you get older...especially after having a kid.

    Keep doing what you're doing..
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  • Empress_Empress_ Posts: 5,723
    @Pralims

    I understand, seems very unfair. Everything you're doing she is counteracting and disrespecting. She in a way undoes the hard work which you put in.

    You're doing the best thing for them, it's necessary to lay down the law and discipline them. Your children should have that little bit of fear in them. Perhaps you have to end up seeming like the "bad guy" but they will appreciate that in their adulthood. If their mother chooses to be more their "friend" than disciplinary then that is her choice though it shouldn't be, first a parent, always.

    Quick story: Brother out with his boys and they trying to get in some trouble that night and brother ain't with it. His boys try to persuade him talking about "We ain't gonna get caught, whatcha scars of the police?" He says "Police? Man forget the police, I'm scared of my mama, I ain't tryin to get beat."

    Moral of the story.......The way you raise a man is with lots of love AND firmness! Need that balance and with that they learn respect but they also know they can confide in you and come to you in time of need. It's important.
    goldenja
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  • dalyricalbanditdalyricalbandit Posts: 39,555
    keep doin u, and put her in check
    mike06
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  • AmotekunAmotekun Posts: 7,713
    Empress_ wrote: »
    I understand, seems very unfair. Everything you're doing she is counteracting and disrespecting. She in a way undoes the hard work which you put in.

    You're doing the best thing for them, it's necessary to lay down the law and discipline them. Your children should have that little bit of fear in them.

    The way you raise a man is with lots of love AND firmness! Need that balance and with that they learn respect but they also know they can come to you when need be without being scared. It's important.


    that right there...my dad was way too hard felt like i couldnt go to him....Shit is always a balancing act and a lot of shit you grow up with as a child you take on as a parent so you got accept the wisdom of your parents and not repeat their mistakes.
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  • GreenCapitalist90GreenCapitalist90 Posts: 697
    pralims wrote: »
    yall niggas better not have kids for as long as you can.

    amen-brother.jpg

    That's why I don't have kids and I'm gonna wait a very long time, I'm not even trying to marry an American woman. In this selfish society you have a lot of women( and vice versa) thinking they can use children to start a proxy war against their S/O in a vindictive way when shit turns sour.

    These folks don't know that the child is the ultimate casualty in these childish proxy war antics, because they are selfishly caught up in trying to one up the other parent by being a cool "friend" akin to the knuckleheads in highschool instead of actually teaching the child morals, ethics, critical thinking, and discipline. Shit's disgustin

    @pralims I'm sure your kids will realize that you were the best parent, because you were more concerned in crafting them into responsible, well-mannered, intelligent adults while the Mom was just trying to be a friend who has no concerns of the direction they'll take in the future by developing bad habits that she selfishly tried to place on them.

    Edit: In fact you don't have to wait until they get older, you can explain your position now and the cost/benefits of discipline vs the cost/benefits of having no rules/self-control and I sure you kids will realize that your methods are best.
    Rosebudd B'Dose
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  • Empress_Empress_ Posts: 5,723
    Amotekun wrote: »
    Empress_ wrote: »
    I understand, seems very unfair. Everything you're doing she is counteracting and disrespecting. She in a way undoes the hard work which you put in.

    You're doing the best thing for them, it's necessary to lay down the law and discipline them. Your children should have that little bit of fear in them.

    The way you raise a man is with lots of love AND firmness! Need that balance and with that they learn respect but they also know they can come to you when need be without being scared. It's important.


    that right there...my dad was way too hard felt like i couldnt go to him....Shit is always a balancing act and a lot of shit you grow up with as a child you take on as a parent so you got accept the wisdom of your parents and not repeat their mistakes.

    Understood brother, understood. My mama and grandmama were the same way. The key is balance so you keep them close to you but also in check.
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  • VIBEVIBE Posts: 23,243
    Balance it out.
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  • darkone360darkone360 Posts: 20,656
    F@@@ that, I support any parent whoopin that azzz when their kid(s) get outta line. I've always said that a lot of parents nowadays are soft as hell. More worried about makin their kids mad when they tell them they can't do or have something.

    F@@@ THAT! I wish I would tell my mama some dumb azzz s@@@ like "I HATE YOU" b/c I didn't get my way. My azzz would be on Joe Sun status.

    goldenjaValentinez A. Kaiser
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  • Will MunnyWill Munny Posts: 17,166
    I'm just glad I don't have any kids so I can be the fun irresponsible adult.
    deadeyejay83Max.Truth Writer
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  • Empress_Empress_ Posts: 5,723
    @pralims

    These youths nowadays especially have no home training. I see some of the other children around my son and I think "I wish my son would."
    All they need is that look, you know that look mama would give you when you're acting up in public? Just that look alone shut it down and you already knew that the moment you get home, you're running to lock yourself in that bathroom and not even the lock can save you, it's just buying you time for mama to get the belt! Lawd!

    Keep doing what you feel is necessary and what works. Effective discipline as well and communicating why they're being punished is key. Mama would beat me and in between strikes let me know why. *lash* "You ain't gon be out here making me look a fool up in front of these white folks." *whiplash*
    texas409
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  • AmotekunAmotekun Posts: 7,713
    Empress_ wrote: »
    @pralims

    These youths nowadays especially have no home training. I see some of the other children around my son and I think "I wish my son would."
    All they need is that look, you know that look mama would give you when you're acting up in public? Just that look alone shut it down and you already knew that the moment you get home, you're running to lock yourself in that bathroom and not even the lock can save you, it's just buying you time for mama to get the belt! Lawd!

    Keep doing you brother, effective discipline as well as verbalizing why they're being punished is key. Mama would beat me and in between strikes let me know why. Lmao.


    @empress many of our people have lost wisdom have no guidance....we have a generation of black folk who had no one to reach them and had to survive on their own and they makin babies without any connection between them and the past.

    Like I said its a common theme going on in these threads but our problems are not criminal they are spiritual and psychological. It is illogical to expect broken people to make wise decisions so it is expected that many youth today have no guidance.

    When I was teachin classes on the Westside in the chi it felt like Season 4 of the Wire. Classrooms were a trip but its not even their fault.
    Empress_Ajackson17texas409
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  • KingJamalKingJamal Posts: 20,312
    pralims wrote: »
    Empress_ wrote: »
    @Pralims

    I understand, seems very unfair. Everything you're doing she is counteracting and disrespecting. She in a way undoes the hard work which you put in.

    You're doing the best thing for them, it's necessary to lay down the law and discipline them. Your children should have that little bit of fear in them. Perhaps you have to end up seeming like the "bad guy" but they will appreciate that in their adulthood. If their mother chooses to be more their "friend" than disciplinary then that is her choice though it shouldn't be, first a parent, always.

    Quick story: Brother out with his boys and they trying to get in some trouble that night and brother ain't with it. His boys try to persuade him talking about "We ain't gonna get caught, whatcha scars of the police?" He says "Police? Man forget the police, I'm scared of my mama, I ain't tryin to get beat."

    Moral of the story.......The way you raise a man is with lots of love AND firmness! Need that balance and with that they learn respect but they also know they can confide in you and come to you in time of need. It's important.

    These kids aint scared of they parents nowadays. If you aint scared to go home after fukkin up then its a problem somewhere. Shit one time my parents came up to my school without telling me. My dumb ass comes running down the hall with my homies, turn the corner an run right into my dad. That shit took a decade off my life like i just saw death himself. I was so scared to go home....i walked. I didnt want to speed up whatever was coming to me. I walked a long as way too. For yall that know philly....i walked from dobbins to gtown. Yep, thru all that hostile territory. I didnt care, i was more scared of my dad than the gangs.

    Alotta these kids need a good ol fashion Joe Jackson ass whoopin

    Joe don't play that shit

    175px-JosephJackson2007(cropped).jpg
    deadeyeAjackson17lookdudeMax.
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  • Empress_Empress_ Posts: 5,723
    Amotekun wrote: »
    Empress_ wrote: »
    @pralims

    These youths nowadays especially have no home training. I see some of the other children around my son and I think "I wish my son would."
    All they need is that look, you know that look mama would give you when you're acting up in public? Just that look alone shut it down and you already knew that the moment you get home, you're running to lock yourself in that bathroom and not even the lock can save you, it's just buying you time for mama to get the belt! Lawd!

    Keep doing you brother, effective discipline as well as verbalizing why they're being punished is key. Mama would beat me and in between strikes let me know why. Lmao.


    @empress many of our people have lost wisdom have no guidance....we have a generation of black folk who had no one to reach them and had to survive on their own and they makin babies without any connection between them and the past.

    Like I said its a common theme going on in these threads but our problems are not criminal they are spiritual and psychological. It is illogical to expect broken people to make wise decisions so it is expected that many youth today have no guidance.

    When I was teachin classes on the Westside in the chi it felt like Season 4 of the Wire. Classrooms were a trip but its not even their fault.

    I agree, which is what I meant by a lack of home training. Of course at some point in life we must all assume responsibility and can't point the finger of blame however, a child's first teacher is the parent. If that is lacking then of course they will more than likely have a lack of discipline and structure. They have no one to plant the seed and lead them down that path.

    Old heads stay talking about how bad youths are on comparison to back in their day, even I've made the comparison but I don't blame the children. What many older folks fail to do is own up to their part. Our youths not being raised is not a new phenomenon, no father presence is not something that just happened, it's just more prevalent now with the rate of teen/young pregnancy that it has been made to appear that this this generation is the sole problem.

    The root of the problem isn't the babies, we have to teach them. If not us then we are leaving a lot of room for error. Misguided youths will test the waters and will go out into the world lost because they didn't have that role model, that positive presence was not there helping to mold them during the most crucial stages of their lives. Children are sponges and until they are out in the world, they only know what we expose them to.
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