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Florida Science Teacher Offers to Blow Cop in Exchange for Letting Her Drunken Hit-and-Run Slide

Young_ChitlinYoung_Chitlin YCN Chief/FCC Member/#RedVelvetSquad Member/IC Task Force GeneralASUville, PhoenixPosts: 22,982 ✭✭✭✭✭
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By: Neetzan Zimmerman

A middle school teacher's poorly thought-out plan to get out of going to jail by offering a police officer oral sex and a breast grope resulted in bribery getting tacked on to her existing DUI and hit-and-run charges. Mary Patricia Maloney, who teaches 7th grade science at Palm Springs Middle School in South Florida, was arrested Sunday in Greenacres after allegedly colliding with another car and fleeing the scene.

The arresting officer noted in his report that an empty jug of wine was visible near the driver's seat, and Maloney appeared drunk. He also noted that Maloney made "random vulgar statements" on the way to the police station, and, at one point, asked the cop rhetorically, "Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

Maloney then attempted an ill-advised tit-for-tat exchange with the officer, offering to perform oral sex on him and allow him "to fondle her breasts" in return for dropping the charges. The officer declined, and Maloney was subsequently booked on charges of hit and run, driving under the influence, knowingly driving with a suspended or revoked license, and bribery.

The 53-year-old, who has been arrested three times since a previous DUI incident in 2009, remains employed by the Palm Beach County School District pending the outcome of a referral to the district's Employee Assistance Program. "These are very serious charges and could subject the employee to discipline of suspension or termination," said district spokesman Nat Harrington.
¡No contaban con mi astucia!
5 Grand wrote: »
I see a lot of people saying they'd "give" family members money.

Thats not what you want to do.

You want to set up a trust fund so they get a monthly payment. You can set up a trust fund so your mother gets, say, $10,000 a month for the rest of her life. According to my math, $10,000 per month for 20 years is $2.4 million. That's better than giving her $2.4 million up front because she can blow it all in a matter of days and then she'll want more and you'd feel obligated to give it to her.

So if you win, don't "give" anybody anything. Set up a trust fund.

Now that I think about it, I could set up a trust fund for my brother. I'd give him $10,000 a month. He's about 45 now so $10,000 per month for 40 years is only $4.8 million. That makes more sense than giving him the money in one lump sum.

AggyAF wrote: »
Anyone else think it's crazy only about 10 posters regularly post here and we got damn near 500 pages?

All the other sports threads on here are people with hobbies. This is football - the beautiful game. We eat, sleep and drink football.

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StillFaggyAFnawledge_god

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