I've never done the slightest work in my life and i'm to write a resumé

P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
I think i only washed some dishes back in 08' but that was too much for me. Now i've gotten stuck in a rut because i have a lot of swag , sprezzatura and i am the undisputed king of fashunzz , but in order to keep my uncontested throne i will need new clothes and money. So I wanna get that werk baybay. What's the most important thing to keep in mind when writing a résumé ? What will I need to include ? And as for the job itself it can be pretty much anything i'm ready for whatever. I can be a gigolo, mow your lawn,clean your dishes,fuck your girlfriend/mom/sister or whatever is necessary. Since i have no prior experience whatsoever with working how much will it hamper me when I can't include réfèréncès ? Will they think I am waque and that i cant get that cheque monay ?

Now help me write a good ass rêsûmé.
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Replies

  • GettinLoGettinLo Posts: 8,013 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think you can be CEO of Apple b...

    you have all the intangibles...
    Ajackson17Young Stef
  • Ajackson17Ajackson17 God King Posts: 16,242 ✭✭✭✭✭
    You need no work experience to become a Director of a job and it requires little to no work experience but the salary is good bruh.
  • A1000MILESA1000MILES Posts: 13,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well...One good tip would be not to place accent marks where they have absolutely no purpose...


    Another would be...Change "washed dishes in '08"...To "Gained experience working in the kitchen during the 2008 presidential election. Skilled in keeping the food preparation area neat and organized"
    ROZAYTABERNACLEAlready Home_17PiffyHazeYoung Stef
  • Will MunnyWill Munny I eat pussy on the 1st date. Posts: 24,422 ✭✭✭✭✭
    no hate bruh but u stay bein worthless.
    Ajackson17
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    i don't think they are accepting new mods right now. even still, you might be over-qualified
    A1000MILESG MackAjackson17Young Stef
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    A1000MILES wrote: »
    Well...One good tip would be not to place accent marks where they have absolutely no purpose...


    Another would be...Change "washed dishes in '08"...To "Gained experience working in the kitchen during the 2008 presidential election. Skilled in keeping the food preparation area neat and organized"

    Whoah there that was good ! Jé suis désolé it was just mon français. The work i had in mind was the same type of shit that an inbred monkey is also capable of. Cleaning , flipping burgers and all that stuff. Although i'd love to work in a Givenchy store and given my french capabilities and endless sprezzatura it would be a good idea.

    How many pages long is the rêsûmé supposed to be if it's gonna be a good ass rêsûmé ?
  • GettinLoGettinLo Posts: 8,013 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Also avoid jobs that require any type of spelling... you aren't qualified for those
    A1000MILESAjackson17PiffyHazeYoung Stef
  • Everyone over 16 should know how to write a resume. It's a needed life skill now.

    What you really need to do is figure out what to say when interviewers ask what have you been doing since you haven't had a job in years. Start at that and the resume will finish it's self.
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    Will Munny wrote: »
    no hate bruh but u stay bein worthless.

    My sprezzatura is invaluable , im a streetwear hero. You're a hilbilly peasant who probably still wears JNCOs mon dieu. Even Russell Brand dresses better than you.
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    word. you could be the "before" poster boy for Rosetta Stone English vesion
    Young Stef
  • Will MunnyWill Munny I eat pussy on the 1st date. Posts: 24,422 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    Will Munny wrote: »
    no hate bruh but u stay bein worthless.

    My sprezzatura is invaluable , im a streetwear hero. You're a hilbilly peasant who probably still wears JNCOs mon dieu. Even Russell Brand dresses better than you.

    weren't trying to be a UFC fighter at one point? How did that work out?
  • A1000MILESA1000MILES Posts: 13,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    A1000MILES wrote: »
    Well...One good tip would be not to place accent marks where they have absolutely no purpose...


    Another would be...Change "washed dishes in '08"...To "Gained experience working in the kitchen during the 2008 presidential election. Skilled in keeping the food preparation area neat and organized"

    Whoah there that was good ! Jé suis désolé it was just mon français. The work i had in mind was the same type of shit that an inbred monkey is also capable of. Cleaning , flipping burgers and all that stuff. Although i'd love to work in a Givenchy store and given my french capabilities and endless sprezzatura it would be a good idea.

    How many pages long is the rêsûmé supposed to be if it's gonna be a good ass rêsûmé ?

    Stop that shit, cuh...Shonda, the shift manager at Arby's is just gonna think you're really weird...You won't fit in with the rest of the depressed "team members"...

  • KatKat Posts: 37,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Pretty sure "sprezzatura" isn't a valuable work skill.
    Young Stef
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
    Matt- wrote: »
    word. you could be the "before" poster boy for Rosetta Stone English vesion

    I wouldn't mind plus all i see on Rosetta Stones is swagless people and if they see the Uncontested King of Fashunz someone would at least mind learning another language or two like moi. Bitches love multiple languages speaking négres.

    Will Munny wrote: »

    weren't trying to be a UFC fighter at one point? How did that work out?

    I'm still fighting to this very day. I'm one of the most prominent prospects within BJJ in my area. I'd break your fake promotional wrasslin' ass anyday.
    Pretty sure "sprezzatura" isn't a valuable work skill.

    I'm pretty sure watching a tomato grow is more exciting than your style.
  • Will MunnyWill Munny I eat pussy on the 1st date. Posts: 24,422 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Okay cool, what is your record? If you are fighting sanctioned fights you should be on Sherdog and can prove it what you claim. I'm sure you really do think you could submit me.
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    Will Munny wrote: »
    Okay cool, what is your record? If you are fighting sanctioned fights you should be on Sherdog and can prove it what you claim. I'm sure you really do think you could submit me.

    My record is a fine 16-1-1 with my only loss coming from a disqualification. I have no time for gay forums when I got my sprezzatura to attend to. I could make you submit to every single choke/joint lock there is. Not only will u submit to my submission , you will submit to me the Uncontested King.
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
    A1000MILES wrote: »

    Stop that shit, cuh...Shonda, the shift manager at Arby's is just gonna think you're really weird...You won't fit in with the rest of the depressed "team members"...

    I just need that werk for a couple of months because when summer season is in i will need a bunch of new clothes and money to fly over to Pitti Uomo and maybe bribe Tommy Ton or some obscure street style photographer to take a picture of me and put it on their blogs. Maybe i'd take a dinner with The Sartorialist and teach his ass a couple of things about Italian craftmanship and the durability of Americana clothes.


  • Will MunnyWill Munny I eat pussy on the 1st date. Posts: 24,422 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Sherdog has amateurs on fightfinder as well now?

    Yes they do. I asked that because obviously p-dogg is not a pro, and he hasn't had 16 fights. Grappling matches don't count as fights.
  • KatKat Posts: 37,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    Matt- wrote: »
    word. you could be the "before" poster boy for Rosetta Stone English vesion

    I wouldn't mind plus all i see on Rosetta Stones is swagless people and if they see the Uncontested King of Fashunz someone would at least mind learning another language or two like moi. Bitches love multiple languages speaking négres.

    Will Munny wrote: »

    weren't trying to be a UFC fighter at one point? How did that work out?

    I'm still fighting to this very day. I'm one of the most prominent prospects within BJJ in my area. I'd break your fake promotional wrasslin' ass anyday.
    Pretty sure "sprezzatura" isn't a valuable work skill.

    I'm pretty sure watching a tomato grow is more exciting than your style.

    that's okay though cause I'm pretty sure my check >>>> yours.
    Young Stef
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    Will Munny wrote: »
    Sherdog has amateurs on fightfinder as well now?

    Yes they do. I asked that because obviously p-dogg is not a pro, and he hasn't had 16 fights. Grappling matches don't count as fights.

    What you got then you waque peasant ? You Affliction T-shirts wearing juicehead, you need a fashion intervention like ahora mismo.
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    that's okay though cause I'm pretty sure my check >>>> yours.

    Whoring pays.
    Kat
  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    that's okay though cause I'm pretty sure my check >>>> yours.

    Unlike you I can't use my vagina to get whatever I want

  • P-Dogg77P-Dogg77 Posts: 4,413 ✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    that's okay though cause I'm pretty sure my check >>>> yours.

    Unlike you I can't use my vagina to get whatever I want

  • KatKat Posts: 37,710 ✭✭✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    that's okay though cause I'm pretty sure my check >>>> yours.

    Whoring pays.

    Glad your mother taught you something, cause she's obviously worthless when it comes to resumes.
    JG's Legal AdviserP-Dogg77
  • A1000MILESA1000MILES Posts: 13,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    P-Dogg77 wrote: »
    A1000MILES wrote: »

    Stop that shit, cuh...Shonda, the shift manager at Arby's is just gonna think you're really weird...You won't fit in with the rest of the depressed "team members"...

    I just need that werk for a couple of months because when summer season is in i will need a bunch of new clothes and money to fly over to Pitti Uomo and maybe bribe Tommy Ton or some obscure street style photographer to take a picture of me and put it on their blogs. Maybe i'd take a dinner with The Sartorialist and teach his ass a couple of things about Italian craftmanship and the durability of Americana clothes.



    A couple months at 7.25 an hour ain't puttin you on no planes, cuh...If it did, it would be like an Air Tran trip to Baltimore...
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