IC Married Folks: Share YOUR best marriage advice.

darkone360

What kinda advice would you give to us unwed IC folks?

Max.

This post is from the future

Spoiler:

never get married

Roster Player #99

dont take to anyone's advice. but take heed.

DROSAIN_BOLT

IF THEY AIN'T DOING IT BEFORE YALL GET MARRIED, DON'T THINK THEY GONE START WHEN YALL DO GET MARRIED....

Theodis

when someone asks if this is the person you are sure you want to be with for the rest of your life, what they are really saying is, are you sure this the only person you willing to fuck for the rest of your life.

sapo614

Make sure your mate is your best friend and whatever problems y'all face try not to ever consider divorce as an option unless it's some really fucked up shit going on

MzzKlapBak

Understand that marriage is not an "Annuity" or a "Savings Bond." It's a daily deposit and withdraw system of compassion and compatibility

7figz

Prenup like a motherfucka, and even then, you're still going to get raped in the divorce.

* Not married common sense post *

sapo614

Skyler White wrote: »

Keep everybody out of your business unless he's beating your ass

Know that your spouse is human & they fuck up. Charge it to their mind & not their heart

Marry your best friend because there's gonna be a lot of time you're gonna have to spend together not fucking. If you can't chill with ur spouse for long pds of time don't marry them.

Make sure you're equally yoked spiritually

Treat your in laws with a long handled spoon. Be familiar, but not friends

We must've been typing at the same time and been in the married game for a while cause we think alike.

Makaveli Joker

If your going to cheat, be smart about it

Max.

Makaveli Joker wrote: »

If your going to cheat, be smart about it

You would have to go to another state to get married nh...

Empress_

I agree with Skyler though I am not married.

Be with someone you can just be with, in simplicity. You should be able to be content, comfortable and enjoy just being in their presence, even in silence without doing much. It is important.

Stopitfive

dont do it...

pralims

have patience
understand that your not always right
be quick to apologize and mean it
understand your role
know you limits
respect your partner
make sure you are able to smile/laugh more than anything else

AP12

LET SHIT GO...if you say you forgive, then forgive...DONT HOLD ON TO THE PROBLEM like its the Big Joker at the end of the spades game then BAM "remember when....."

Like sky said, your spouse is human and being around someone all the time, no matter how much you care/love for them, you are just bound to have disagreements...

Separate alone time. Doing things together is GOAT, but sometimes, just do something by yourself or respect that they might want to do something without you...goes back to my previous point...with two people around each other all the time, you will eventually need a break from one another...that doesnt mean that they are trying to do wrong/dirty...just respect they may need some space to chill

Dont marry nobody who spend their check before its in the account...

Dro touched on another good point...if he/she is nasty dirty now...dont expect them to magically flip a switch and become a clean freak. My apt stayed looking nice to say I lived alone...always nice smelling, bathroom cleaned, bed made etc... (no shots fired...lol)

Dont do things to them that you dont want done to you...e.g. if yo fiance or s/o aint out all hours of the night, you shouldnt be either...there are times you may do something with the girls/guys and thats ok, but still be mindful and respectful of the person you have at home. If yo boys/girls clown you...eff them...thats why they are still single...im not saying you gotta be at home at 8:30 but just be mindful of letting that person know what the deal is...speaking of

Be courteous...Just b/c you call your woman/man and tell them where you are doesnt make you weak. Its a sign of respect. I live in a small city and you are bound to run into somebody that knows somebody that knows your spouse/S/O...so just CYA and send a text or something to say "babe, went to xyz..." Also, if you have nothing to hide, then it shouldnt be a problem. What if something were to happen to you and you went somewhere while your S/O thought you were somewhere else...it aint checking in, its just the courteous thing to do. e.g. Fellas, you watching a game at the homies house and the game goes into OT, if it seems like you wanna just hang out a while, whats wrong with saying "babe, I'm just hang out over here for about another hour or so...call you when im on the way home"...

enough from me...

shit happens

Prepare for mental physical and spiritual warfare and paradise rolled in one basically heaven and hell in the same shell

Makaveli Joker

I mean, real shit. Niggas cheating out here and get caught in some stupid ways cause they got sloppy. Ain't that hard to get a separate cell you keep at your bros house or homies house. Ain't that hard to work around your woman's schedule.

Rosebudd B'Dose

Understand that it's not a movie, fairy tale.

I treat my marriage like a job. I work at it everyday. People act like the wedding is the culmination of a marriage, when , in fact, it's the beginning of the hard stuff.

I've learned that patience and understanding is key to making it work. No one is always right and you cannot dismiss someone's feelings. 15 years in a marriage will teach you how to be humble and how to swallow pride.

VIBE

Don't get married, it's overrated and changes nothing.

ShiveDreadz

Take time to know that PERSON past the fronts and characters they play in their life. It might take YEARS to scratch past the surface but until you see that vulnerable, real person you wasting your time talking about "forever."

With that being said, getting married without living together for a long period of time is unadvised.

For the brothers....

In this day and time make sure yall are close to equal in the financial department. If yall both broke you can come up strong together, but dont go fuckin with broke bitches after you made it.

Dont think of marriage as some cheap thrill/celebration dance because it is not,. It is a lifetime investment and a lot of people bitter about marriage are really bitter about their lack of research before investing.

Empress_

VIBE wrote: »

Don't get married, it's overrated and changes nothing.

I think wanting something to change is a rather poor, lousy and wrong reason to want to marry. In that case, don't bother.

pralims

aone415 wrote: »

Understand that it's not a movie, fairy tale.

I treat my marriage like a job. I work at it everyday. People act like the wedding is the culmination of a marriage, when , in fact, it's the beginning of the hard stuff.

I've learned that patience and understanding is key to making it work. No one is always right and you cannot dismiss someone's feelings. 15 years in a marriage will teach you how to be humble and how to swallow pride.

man alot chicks think thats what marriage is...they want a fairytale life without the work.

this is the second best post so far....i seen shit fail on some...i wont lose or back down shit.

pralims

AP12 wrote: »

LET SHIT GO...if you say you forgive, then forgive...DONT HOLD ON TO THE PROBLEM like its the Big Joker at the end of the spades game then BAM "remember when....."

Like sky said, your spouse is human and being around someone all the time, no matter how much you care/love for them, you are just bound to have disagreements...

Separate alone time. Doing things together is GOAT, but sometimes, just do something by yourself or respect that they might want to do something without you...goes back to my previous point...with two people around each other all the time, you will eventually need a break from one another...that doesnt mean that they are trying to do wrong/dirty...just respect they may need some space to chill

Dont marry nobody who spend their check before its in the account...

Dro touched on another good point...if he/she is nasty dirty now...dont expect them to magically flip a switch and become a clean freak. My apt stayed looking nice to say I lived alone...always nice smelling, bathroom cleaned, bed made etc... (no shots fired...lol)

Dont do things to them that you dont want done to you...e.g. if yo fiance or s/o aint out all hours of the night, you shouldnt be either...there are times you may do something with the girls/guys and thats ok, but still be mindful and respectful of the person you have at home. If yo boys/girls clown you...eff them...thats why they are still single...im not saying you gotta be at home at 8:30 but just be mindful of letting that person know what the deal is...speaking of

Be courteous...Just b/c you call your woman/man and tell them where you are doesnt make you weak. Its a sign of respect. I live in a small city and you are bound to run into somebody that knows somebody that knows your spouse/S/O...so just CYA and send a text or something to say "babe, went to xyz..." Also, if you have nothing to hide, then it shouldnt be a problem. What if something were to happen to you and you went somewhere while your S/O thought you were somewhere else...it aint checking in, its just the courteous thing to do. e.g. Fellas, you watching a game at the homies house and the game goes into OT, if it seems like you wanna just hang out a while, whats wrong with saying "babe, I'm just hang out over here for about another hour or so...call you when im on the way home"...

enough from me...

people dont understand this...

most dudes are insecure an think when they lady goes out or goes away they be cheating because of what do or see when they roll with they homies...when its really just about a vacation or break from reality.
sometimes you need that time away to come back an reunite and appreciate what you have.

Empress_

AP12 wrote: »

Separate alone time. Doing things together is GOAT, but sometimes, just do something by yourself or respect that they might want to do something without you...goes back to my previous point...with two people around each other all the time, you will eventually need a break from one another...that doesnt mean that they are trying to do wrong/dirty...just respect they may need some space to chill.

Aloneness is super important IMO.

I personally cherish my aloneness and it is necessary even in togetherness. The problem is many, especially women, take it personally when the man wants a little bit of "space." Even when living together under the same roof, let alone when married, that time is necessary for any of us, a moment with self where we can just be.

This alone time doesn't have anything to do with ones s/o, it doesn't represent any gap between the couple. I can still be close to you even when we are apart, my need for time spent alone has nothing to do with him. And just the same I wouldn't take it to heart as I know not everything is about me. If one doesn't ever have that space, they can easily lose a piece of themselves. Understanding is everything and love is to give, that includes time for self.

Conflict

Let her win. /thread

The Prodigalson

Most Important thing is erything is 50/50 if either of you feels you have to be the dominant force then it won't work. Of course there are exceptions.