Meeting people's kids....usually a bad idea

jonojono Right fist = power, left fist = unityPosts: 17,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
Of course there are exceptions but generally speaking I don't do it. Over the last few years I advised friends on not meeting a S/O's child(ren).

Scenario #1
My female friend was dating a dude with multiple kids (red flag). Anyway his youngest was like 3. I told her don't do it, its a bad idea but she insisted claiming that there's nothing wrong with meeting kids and how much she loves children (she got zero by the way). So they started hanging out on some family type shit, picnics, movies etc. I told her flat out "this nigga using his kid as an emotional anchor, when shit gets real he gonna pull the my 'daughter loves you' card". She didn't believe me, sure enough when homie started bullshitting and she cut him off he started that "my baby just want to say Hi, she misses you"...she was scarred, she's a nice chick so hurting the feelings of a small child isn't in her nature. Ultimately she caved and took him back, after awhile they broke up again and she changed her number. She called me weepy as fuck afterwards

Scenario #2
My homie was trying to win over this chick (haven't known her that long) with like a 6yr old son. So this past Xmas he was talking about buying little man a Xmas gift, now I love kids and this is a good sentiment, but I told homie not to do it. I told him that shit is Pandora's Box or Hell's Gate. Once its open all the evil miasma within is gonna infect his pocketbook like nothing he's never seen before. Nigga aint listen to me though, bought the kid something (a movie or some shit) and now the bitch is asking him to pay for her son's haircuts and gym shoes....he opened the door for it and now the little nigga's daddy sitting back like:
20120602201801!Laughing_haha.gif


I've only met the kids of friends, never of women I'm dating...I've always found it more responsible to NOT introduce people you just dating to your kids (I don't have any either) but some folks just don't agree.
whitecrackerCashmoneyDuxBoldChildunspoken_respectceothachosen1Already Home_17WYRMWYRD
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Replies

  • KatKat Posts: 36,097 ✭✭✭✭✭
    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.
    DWOceothachosen1Reigns
  • jonojono Right fist = power, left fist = unity Posts: 17,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I've done it. Over a year with a chick...she had 2 kids, never met 'em. Not once, I've seen pictures I think I may have even talk to 'em but never met 'em in person. This was back when I might have actually been okay with meeting kids too.
    unspoken_respect
  • 700700 Will I be judged as being a bad trapper, or will I get rich and bitch....laugh at ya Plap City, FLAPosts: 9,569 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Stopitfive wrote: »
    Fuck a bitches kids, mayne... Shit is bad for everyone...

    MasterALFrank
  • nawledge_godnawledge_god Gif Game Proper Chiraq RefugeePosts: 3,100 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Single Moms Always Lookin For A Nigga To Help Raise That Kid...Fuck That...Childless Freaks FTW
    Amber_LampsCashmoneyDuxBarryHallstaeboos_a_m_r_i_o
  • Knock_TwiceKnock_Twice Aint never had nothing in my whole life, grew up on eggs and rice Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I'll wait until the woman start bringing the kid around per say...I aint go volunteer myself to be in the kid's life..."where that lil nga daddy at"
    HarlemThumzUp
  • jonojono Right fist = power, left fist = unity Posts: 17,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.


    How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term fuck buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.
    ceothachosen1
  • DWODWO ♪♫♪ I was down 40, now I'm up 50. Posts: 49,031 Regulator
    establish a relationship between the two adults before bringing the kid in....
    jonoBodhi
  • KatKat Posts: 36,097 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jono wrote: »
    smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

    Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.


    How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term fuck buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.

    Oh okay, yeah I definitely agree with that.

  • KatKat Posts: 36,097 ✭✭✭✭✭
    single moms selfish yo.

    selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
    selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
    selfish cause she gonna ask a real nigga for money and/or use him
    selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

    have that abortion before its too late, ho

    Too bad somebody wasn't around to give your mom that tip.
    nawledge_godGot Em Shookceothachosen1MrSoutCity
  • WishboneJonesWishboneJones Infinity- 0 Posts: 21,080 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Kat is feisty today

    Roar
    Kat
  • Knock_TwiceKnock_Twice Aint never had nothing in my whole life, grew up on eggs and rice Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
    First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

    I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some shit" and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea dummy...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as fuck..I wasn't ready for the that shit...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..
  • jonojono Right fist = power, left fist = unity Posts: 17,361 ✭✭✭✭✭
    First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

    I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some shit" and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea dummy...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as fuck..I wasn't ready for the that shit...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..

    .
    There it is. You have to ease a nigga into meeting the kids, you can't just plop jimmie on the couch like "this is mommy's friend".


    I met one of my co-worker's kids once, we were doing a group going out session after work and all the pictures she had of him where of a little boy. So when we get there I'm thinking lil dude like 4, a big 10-12yr old nigga come out like "hey ma" I was flabbergasted! Straight flushed. I can't imagine how I would feel if we were dating when that happened.
    Already Home_17
  • Knock_TwiceKnock_Twice Aint never had nothing in my whole life, grew up on eggs and rice Posts: 3,421 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2013
    I have respect for chicks who have told me that they can't do such and such becuz they have their kid with them..or they'll call and say I don't have the kid he's with such and such..let's try and do something..I be like ok, she ok..she might be ready..
    Got Em ShookHarlemThumzUp
  • StewStew Im In My Permanent PRhyme We run this spot like a Chinese sweatshopPosts: 34,223 Regulator
    Im kinda bothered if a chic lets me meet her child all early nshit. Like yo, there is no reason for me to meet your child right now, I barely even know you.
    DWOBlackAX410
  • DWODWO ♪♫♪ I was down 40, now I'm up 50. Posts: 49,031 Regulator

    any kid that sees too many "friends" come and go in their parents lives is gonna have some serious issues regarding love, and intimacy when they grow up...

    parents pretty much setting their kids up to be ain't shit in the future
    Kat
  • VIBEVIBE Awww Yeeaah! Posts: 39,462 ✭✭✭✭✭
    What I learned from, "Think Like A Man" last night: meeting the kid is okay, but meeting the mother is worse.
    Meta_ConsciousDWO
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