Meeting people's kids....usually a bad idea

jono

Of course there are exceptions but generally speaking I don't do it. Over the last few years I advised friends on not meeting a S/O's child(ren).

Scenario #1
My female friend was dating a dude with multiple kids (red flag). Anyway his youngest was like 3. I told her don't do it, its a bad idea but she insisted claiming that there's nothing wrong with meeting kids and how much she loves children (she got zero by the way). So they started hanging out on some family type shit, picnics, movies etc. I told her flat out "this nigga using his kid as an emotional anchor, when shit gets real he gonna pull the my 'daughter loves you' card". She didn't believe me, sure enough when homie started bullshitting and she cut him off he started that "my baby just want to say Hi, she misses you"...she was scarred, she's a nice chick so hurting the feelings of a small child isn't in her nature. Ultimately she caved and took him back, after awhile they broke up again and she changed her number. She called me weepy as fuck afterwards

Scenario #2
My homie was trying to win over this chick (haven't known her that long) with like a 6yr old son. So this past Xmas he was talking about buying little man a Xmas gift, now I love kids and this is a good sentiment, but I told homie not to do it. I told him that shit is Pandora's Box or Hell's Gate. Once its open all the evil miasma within is gonna infect his pocketbook like nothing he's never seen before. Nigga aint listen to me though, bought the kid something (a movie or some shit) and now the bitch is asking him to pay for her son's haircuts and gym shoes....he opened the door for it and now the little nigga's daddy sitting back like:



I've only met the kids of friends, never of women I'm dating...I've always found it more responsible to NOT introduce people you just dating to your kids (I don't have any either) but some folks just don't agree.

CC_Poncho

How you gonna try to have a relationship with a woman with a kid without meetin him/her?

MzGrahamBitches

smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.

Stopitfive

Fuck a bitches kids, mayne... Shit is bad for everyone...

jono

I've done it. Over a year with a chick...she had 2 kids, never met 'em. Not once, I've seen pictures I think I may have even talk to 'em but never met 'em in person. This was back when I might have actually been okay with meeting kids too.

Plap Star

Stopitfive wrote: »

Fuck a bitches kids, mayne... Shit is bad for everyone...

nawledge_god

Single Moms Always Lookin For A Nigga To Help Raise That Kid...Fuck That...Childless Freaks FTW

Knock_Twice

I'll wait until the woman start bringing the kid around per say...I aint go volunteer myself to be in the kid's life..."where that lil nga daddy at"

jono

MzGrahamBitches wrote: »

smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.

How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term fuck buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.

King Erauno

single moms selfish yo.

selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
selfish cause she gonna ask a real nigga for money and/or use him
selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

have that abortion before its too late, ho

Plap Star

i remember i was fuckin with one hoe, my first night over there she started showin me pictures of her kids and shit

i was sayin "yea you got some cute kids, they smart too, look at that"

in the back of my head im thinkin "fuck these ugly ass kids, bitch why is you wastin my time"

i fucked with her for a couple months and never met her kids, thank god

Du_Du

establish a relationship between the two adults before bringing the kid in....

Dub_Deux

How about the daddy meet his own damn kids

MzGrahamBitches

jono wrote: »

MzGrahamBitches wrote: »

smh..how are you to have a relationship without the two meeting at some point?

Now if you had added TOO SOON then I might have agreed.

How soon is too soon though? I think it depends on the nature of your relationship. I think that's when the exceptions kick in. If ya'll talking living together or marriage or something then its a must but one some not that serious, long term fuck buddy stuff then save yourself the hassle is my position.

Oh okay, yeah I definitely agree with that.

ImTheKangRoundHere

Women are impossible. The ones with no kids are unrealistic and the ones mothering a school system expect you to become the principal. You got hella kids and you judging a nigga for living at home. Of course he at home. He don't wanna live with your kids. If I accept you and all yo kids, accept the fact I live in my mom's garage.

MzGrahamBitches

King Erauno wrote: »

single moms selfish yo.

selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
selfish cause she gonna ask a real nigga for money and/or use him
selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

have that abortion before its too late, ho

Too bad somebody wasn't around to give your mom that tip.

Dub_Deux

Kat is feisty today

Roar

Plap Star

any bitch that let me meet her kids i automatically kno she aint shit

cause i aint no role model, ill get yo kids high as fuck

Knock_Twice

First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some shit" and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea dummy...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as fuck..I wasn't ready for the that shit...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..

Du_Du

you can tell a lot about a woman based on how she raise her kids....

tons...

she might be phoney as shit to you... but she's real to her kids....

so if she all reckless with her kids... dropping them off, or doing trifling shit at the lasrt minute just to hang out with a nigga...

or she too eager to let some nigga she don't even know play daddy...


them shits is some sever warning flags for something much more sinister...

run and run fast...


but if she's overly protective... and keeps her kids at a distance form you until she's 100% sure this thing with yall is going to be serious, and not just a fuck and duck..... then that's a sign that she's not only really interested in you..she also has her priorities straight...

ii know a few single mothers that don't want a nigga to do shit for their kids..cuz they don't even get down like that...

jono

Knock_Twice wrote: »

First date shouldn't be involving a kid...

I remember being ask to go and see "Disney on Ice or some shit" and I had just met the chick at the club like a week ago...I was like the kid going too lol...she was like yea dummy...I was like umm...I went..I aint pay..but I felt weird as fuck..I wasn't ready for the that shit...I think the woman should have sense to "ask" if the guy is ready too to meet the kid/kids..

.
There it is. You have to ease a nigga into meeting the kids, you can't just plop jimmie on the couch like "this is mommy's friend".


I met one of my co-worker's kids once, we were doing a group going out session after work and all the pictures she had of him where of a little boy. So when we get there I'm thinking lil dude like 4, a big 10-12yr old nigga come out like "hey ma" I was flabbergasted! Straight flushed. I can't imagine how I would feel if we were dating when that happened.

Knock_Twice

I have respect for chicks who have told me that they can't do such and such becuz they have their kid with them..or they'll call and say I don't have the kid he's with such and such..let's try and do something..I be like ok, she ok..she might be ready..

icecoldstew

Im kinda bothered if a chic lets me meet her child all early nshit. Like yo, there is no reason for me to meet your child right now, I barely even know you.

Du_Du

any kid that sees too many "friends" come and go in their parents lives is gonna have some serious issues regarding love, and intimacy when they grow up...

parents pretty much setting their kids up to be ain't shit in the future

VIBE

What I learned from, "Think Like A Man" last night: meeting the kid is okay, but meeting the mother is worse.

King Erauno

MzGrahamBitches wrote: »

King Erauno wrote: »

single moms selfish yo.

selfish for keepin a child knowin the dad aint gonna be there
selfish for keepin a child tryin to convince the dad to be there
selfish cause she gonna ask a real nigga for money and/or use him
selfish and hurtin the child through this whole thing

have that abortion before its too late, ho

Too bad somebody wasn't around to give your mom that tip.

sorry. my parents only been married once for 40 years. Still married to this day. try again