Funniest GTA: San Andreas quotes

goldenja

goldenja

"ill come quietly if y'all feed me"

-Fat CJ

Turfaholic

Was only fat to fuck the bitch in san fiero post

dazerferfly

This one gets me everytime

Carl Johnson: [the Truth has handed Carl a rocket launcher] Holy Motherfucker! Where'd you get this!
The Truth: I found it in a bail of Thai sticks. Shame really, I was going to make it into a lamp.

goldenja

dazerferfly wrote: »

This one gets me everytime

Carl Johnson: [the Truth has handed Carl a rocket launcher] Holy Motherfucker! Where'd you get this!
The Truth: I found it in a bail of Thai sticks. Shame really, I was going to make it into a lamp.

that was the mission where he was all high n shit?

dazerferfly

Yup.

The Truth: Hey, you want at hit on this? A little Temple Charas in a cocktail with some Nepalese munga munga.
Carl Johnson: Put that thing out, man, I can't see.
The Truth: Hey, mellow out, brother. It's good shit.
Carl Johnson: Put it out, motherfucker, I'm warning you!
The Truth: Wooah, chill the fuck out! Firstly, you are a real buzz killer, amigo. And secondly, I never made love to my mother. She wouldn't. And thirdly, we're in this together, so be cool.
Carl Johnson: Sorry, man, I just don't drive when I'm faded. Hey, this thing go any faster?
The Truth: Man, we got 3 tons of grass on board, the engine block is held together with a macramé hammock, and it's running on 15-year-old cooking oil.
Carl Johnson: Shit. Can you shoot?
The Truth: Shoot? I'm a hippy! The only thing I've shot is acid. I heard about this dude who snorted it once. Thought his nose what a kangaroo and the moon was a dog. Whooo!

goldenja

"I'm overweight, but your a dumb fuck"

hahaha!

Cigarello Slim

Yo how have I never heard that Fat Carl shit, that was GOAT.

eternal soldier

Man memory lane here
"I will kick yo ass you hear me"?

KINGEC

"I'll have 2 number 9s...a number 9 large...A number 6 with extra dip...a number 7...2 number 45s...one with cheese and a laaaaarge soda..."


My fav for some reason.

tha bause

I smoke cuz it's gives me knowledge!

goldenja

Cigarello Slim wrote: »

Yo how have I never heard that Fat Carl shit, that was GOAT.

when I was younger I would purposely make him fat for this reason.. the skinny/muscular cj was too serious

goldenja

"you lift weights, I lift joints"

goldenja

"yeah I like French fries
- both my parents are dead"

lol

Cigarello Slim

goldenja wrote: »

Cigarello Slim wrote: »

Yo how have I never heard that Fat Carl shit, that was GOAT.

when I was younger I would purposely make him fat for this reason.. the skinny/muscular cj was too serious

Man I'm disappointed I never tried it, my CJ was malnourished first time I beat the game. But dog I was up watching that Fat CJ video at like 5 in the morning fuckin' dying, let me check out the rest. I know that nigga with the orange jersey says some funny shit.

goldenja

Cigarello Slim wrote: »

goldenja wrote: »

Cigarello Slim wrote: »

Yo how have I never heard that Fat Carl shit, that was GOAT.

when I was younger I would purposely make him fat for this reason.. the skinny/muscular cj was too serious

Man I'm disappointed I never tried it, my CJ was malnourished first time I beat the game. But dog I was up watching that Fat CJ video at like 5 in the morning fuckin' dying, let me check out the rest. I know that nigga with the orange jersey says some funny shit.

hahaha! hell yeah..

the orange jersery guy is classic

the white guy in the brown shirt is low key funny

the farting indian guy is hilarious
"I got 40 kids to pick up from school" lol

So ILL

For some reason, I always laughed when I used to make my recruited Gang Members go after someone.

C.J. would be like, "Attack that motherfucker..", and everybody would just start dumping on them and chase them all up the block until they were dead lol...

goldenja

So ILL wrote: »

For some reason, I always laughed when I used to make my recruited Gang Members go after someone.

C.J. would be like, "Attack that motherfucker..", and everybody would just start dumping on them and chase them all up the block until they were dead lol...

hahahaha! that shit was funny tho.. they was straight drones lol

unspoken_respect

SWAT "Get in there and turn that turd out!"

?

Turfaholic

So ILL wrote: »

For some reason, I always laughed when I used to make my recruited Gang Members go after someone.

C.J. would be like, "Attack that motherfucker..", and everybody would just start dumping on them and chase them all up the block until they were dead lol...

They couldn't shoot for shit

genocidecutter

"Im OG Loc"

So ILL

goldenja wrote: »

So ILL wrote: »

For some reason, I always laughed when I used to make my recruited Gang Members go after someone.

C.J. would be like, "Attack that motherfucker..", and everybody would just start dumping on them and chase them all up the block until they were dead lol...

hahahaha! that shit was funny tho.. they was straight drones lol

Hell yeah, they wouldn't even stop and mourn if one of them died. They run right by the nigga and keep clapping until the target was taken care of or was all the way out of sight lol..

Turfaholic wrote: »

So ILL wrote: »

For some reason, I always laughed when I used to make my recruited Gang Members go after someone.

C.J. would be like, "Attack that motherfucker..", and everybody would just start dumping on them and chase them all up the block until they were dead lol...

They couldn't shoot for shit

For real, niggas would be hitting passing cars and the street and shit at close range smh. How it takes 29 bullets from 5 different guns to kill one person is beyond me lol smh..

Turfaholic

I used to fill up Tour busses with the gang and take trips to country ass towns and start letting off shots. Lol.