Expectations & Reality in Relationships

bignormbignorm Posts: 5,414 ✭✭✭✭✭

Every relationship has an ebb and flow. Every relationship has stated and unstated expectations.
In the clip posted above, its clear that in William Wallace's relationship, Brains was expected daily.
His s/o, apparently, is now trying to switch it up. He seems a lil mad about that.

Now, he wrong for being all in his feelings, and letting a hoe control him instead of controlling his hoe,
but let's look at the root of the problem.

Is it be a problems when your S/O no longer wants to go by the things that made the relationship work?

I've been in this type of relationship. All of my relationships ever have been like this, and I feel some type of way
when i'm denied. ESPECIALLY when my girl acts like she don't know what she doing. It's like "bitch, do you think I want your hand on my stomach right now? go south! quit playin"

This goes for both sexes. It don't have to be about sex, oral or otherwise. It could be about taking out the trash.

How do you all handle it when the status quo changes to something that you aint cool with?

Is the other person wrong for switching it up? What if they thing they are evolving?
Mel's bish probably thinks she is above giving brain every single day. Is that a reason to cancel her? (my answer is yes)

This goes for girls and guys. Hell, I think @lechic said her man got his face in her lap EVERY DAY.
So, it is what it is.

Whats your opinions G&S?
2stepz_ahead7figz
«13456711

Replies

  • KingFreemanKingFreeman -These niggas ain't about to starve us- Way UpPosts: 8,424 ✭✭✭✭✭
    It hasn't happened to me but my boy is going thru that with his wifey. She been giving this dude the pussy like once or twice a month for months talking about she doesn't feel sexual and shit after they were doing wild shit for years. I ain't know what to tell the nigga cause I don't want to send him into his feelings but if that shit happens your fuck game fell off, she's cheating or both.
    On the flipside at some point sooner or later that shit is gonna slow down you just gotta keep shit funky. Switching up can be a good thing if executed properly. Doing the exact same shit every time gets boring for both people. Ask yourself what ur doing to make ur girl wanna run goat brains everytime.
    Sounds like ur shits weak bruh.

    Side note is that YouTube clip real??? Shit was hilarious. Mel Gibson don't play when it comes to getting brains.
  • Recaptimus_Prime360Recaptimus_Prime360 Phat Bootyologist Posts: 42,555 ✭✭✭✭✭
    For the faith/semi/religious folks...

    Mines was a whole nutha situation. Sex wasn't the issue wit the chick I was seeing. Church was. Grew up in the church, born & raised. It's been a minute since I've visted. She on the other hand, goes regularly. Church on Sundays. Bible study on Wednesdays. Prayer on Fridays.

    When it came to the subject of church, we butted heads...badly. To the point where she ended things. Only about 3 months in, this chick already wanted me to meet her pastor. I had reservations about it, mainly b/c I felt that was a major step that needed to be taken once things are more solid down the line. Plus this hefa was tryin to get me to leave my home church for hers!?!?!

    I have no problem goin to church whatsoever (there's really no excuse why I shouldn't), but my relationship with God is more personal. She on the other hand, made it seem like the only way I would get guidance, is strictly thru church. If that's her thinking, fine. I respected that. But at least respect my thinking on this situation. As I told her, we all take different paths. But she came off as if her opinion was the right one.

    Guess she felt I no longer met her "requirement" regarding that. Smh. Ok that's all.
  • WYRMWYRM 100% Urban White TrashPosts: 879 ✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2013
    Fuck it leave'em, if they change the original dynamic, they have essentially become another chick with a different personal agenda altogether. So she basically isn't the woman you got with, mid as well say her personality changed. Been there left that. She is probably doing as a war of attrition, she holding the relationship only to not be the bad guy/girl when shit gets unbearable.

    If there GF are feeding into it, it's a done deal. You gotta jet b.
    bignormgalaxy_1221
  • Batman.Batman. Posts: 1,227 ✭✭✭✭✭
    darkone360 wrote: »
    For the faith/semi/religious folks...

    Mines was a whole nutha situation. Sex wasn't the issue wit the chick I was seeing. Church was. Grew up in the church, born & raised. It's been a minute since I've visted. She on the other hand, goes regularly. Church on Sundays. Bible study on Wednesdays. Prayer on Fridays.

    When it came to the subject of church, we butted heads...badly. To the point where she ended things. Only about 3 months in, this chick already wanted me to meet her pastor. I had reservations about it, mainly b/c I felt that was a major step that needed to be taken once things are more solid down the line. Plus this hefa was tryin to get me to leave my home church for hers!?!?!

    I have no problem goin to church whatsoever (there's really no excuse why I shouldn't), but my relationship with God is more personal. She on the other hand, made it seem like the only way I would get guidance, is strictly thru church. If that's her thinking, fine. I respected that. But at least respect my thinking on this situation. As I told her, we all take different paths. But she came off as if her opinion was the right one.

    Guess she felt I no longer met her "requirement" regarding that. Smh. Ok that's all.

    I didn't fall for that, my relationship ended as quickly as it started. Black chicks are insanely religious, for no reason either because they were probably hoeing themselves in their teenage years.
    KingFreemanVulcanRavenceothachosen1
  • a.manna.mann Posts: 17,778 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Hope this doesn't turn into yet another,

    Hold black women accountable,its their fault thread
    sweetheart93
  • Ajackson17Ajackson17 God King Posts: 16,995 ✭✭✭✭✭
    People naturally become more religious as they get older and more indoctrinated and less free thinking, logical, and rational. They tend to give more of their feelings more and that results in quick thinking without being in depth of who they are most of the time. Some give their logical side a chance to breathe and think, but when it comes to religion to most, its due to quickly feeling. Remember, traditions and societal behavior comes due from feeling which may had a logical reasoning to back it up for the time it existed but usually lost in the sands of time when we realize it's completely illogical to continue since the reasoning is no longer applicable.
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 40,145 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I expect to get what I signed up for at the very minimum, so I don't expect that a man would feel any differently.
    Ajackson17bignormPicoTheBoyRo
  • Rock_WellRock_Well Posts: 2,187 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited July 2013
    Its better to be on the denying end. Majority of my past relationships I was the one denying, like, " I kno, I kno, but I gotta get up outta heah. Gotta go get this bread, gotta pay these bills."
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 54,103 Regulator
    haute wrote: »
    that's the challenge with relationships

    People will change over time, they're supposed to

    Finding someone who can either adapt to your changes while they are also changing is terribly difficult

    This is why I like building relationship from friendship, when you have basic respect for someone it's easier to communicate when you're going through these things

  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 16,951 ✭✭✭✭✭
    P
    haute wrote: »
    that's the challenge with relationships

    People will change over time, they're supposed to

    Finding someone who can either adapt to your changes while they are also changing is terribly difficult

    This is why I like building relationship from friendship, when you have basic respect for someone it's easier to communicate when you're going through these things

    People dont know what basic respect is now. Everyone thinks they should automatically get it before they give it...no one think they should earn it.

    But thats a great yet grossly overlooked point.
    DWO
  • a.manna.mann Posts: 17,778 ✭✭✭✭✭

    The essential problem is
    many people fall in love with the ideal
    NOT the person

    Thus the saying; being in love with love

    Over time this gets exposed in various way
    aka_OGrip.dillaceothachosen1
  • PurrPurr The BBW of your dreams. Lubuit te cognitione cognoscentes. Videre, deinceps vita.Posts: 29,858 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @bignorm I am a domesticated woman who loves her man's dirty pair of boxers. He does so much for me it's crazy.
    bignorm
  • LUClENLUClEN Sociologist. Logician. Champion Lova Babylon Posts: 17,606 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A lot of people think subservience is respect and then they catch feelings when they see you have a spine.
    achewon87
  • mryounggunmryounggun Posts: 10,587 ✭✭✭✭✭
    We can't use Mel as the case study here; clearly that nigga ain't wrapped too tight.

    Be beyond that, I was in that situation kinda in my last relationship. Almost every thing fell into one of two categories:

    1. Shit she used to do, after we got together and had been to get for a while, she stopped doing (her fault)

    2. Shit she didn't do, but I figured she would grow into since she was young and had never been in a real relationship, she ended up never really doing (my fault)

    In either case, the solution is simple: Set the expectation in the beginning, make the consequences of them not being met very clear and stick with it.
    bignorm2stepz_ahead
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 40,145 ✭✭✭✭✭
    FourEfil wrote: »
    Once a female thinks she has you, things go downhill from there.

    That goes both ways honey.
    PicotaebooMissKbignormVulcanRavensweetheart93
  • FourEfilFourEfil Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭✭✭
    FourEfil wrote: »
    Once a female thinks she has you, things go downhill from there.
    That goes both ways honey.
    Oh elaborate?
  • Rasta.Rasta. Mt. ZionPosts: 7,542 ✭✭✭✭✭
    FourEfil wrote: »
    Once a female thinks she has you, things go downhill from there.

    That goes both ways honey.
    I somewhat disagree...a female will let herself go easily when she's boo'd up compared to a guy. A female also goes into relationships with the thought process of molding a nigga (don't blame yall tho, motherhood instinct)
    Recaptimus_Prime360bignorm
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 40,145 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Not much elaboration needed.

    Everybody puts their best foot forward entering a relationship, not just women.

    That's why I'm not sure why anybody would enter a marriage without co-habitating beforehand.

    Let me see what you're hiding.
    Ajackson17Picoa.manns_a_m_r_i_obignormsweetheart93
  • FourEfilFourEfil Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭✭✭
    FourEfil wrote: »
    Once a female thinks she has you, things go downhill from there.

    That goes both ways honey.
    I somewhat disagree...a female will let herself go easily when she's boo'd up compared to a guy. A female also goes into relationships with the thought process of molding a nigga (don't blame yall tho, motherhood instinct)
    When this process is complete that's when the decline happens because the whole test is not let her change you (you can't change anyone). You're suppose to stand your ground, which keeps the attraction going.
  • KatKat You just do you..Imma do me :* Posts: 40,145 ✭✭✭✭✭
    FourEfil wrote: »
    Once a female thinks she has you, things go downhill from there.

    That goes both ways honey.
    I somewhat disagree...a female will let herself go easily when she's boo'd up compared to a guy. A female also goes into relationships with the thought process of molding a nigga (don't blame yall tho, motherhood instinct)

    Depends what you consider "let herself go" to mean.

    Men usually mean that in the physical sense, whereas I think men are more guilty of letting themselves go in the non-physical sense.

    Be the type of man she WANTS to look good for..
    PicotaebooTheBoyRobignormsweetheart93
«13456711
Sign In or Register to comment.