Deadspin's list of 36 cheap American beers and their rankings

konceptjoneskonceptjones Posts: 9,113 ✭✭✭✭✭
http://deadspin.com/36-cheap-american-beers-ranked-638820035

36. Keystone. This is the worst beer currently sold on American soil. It sits behind chilled glass in a convenience-store fridge like a dumb rebuke to the explosion of American beer variety all around it. In 1978 there were 89 breweries in the U.S.; today there are more than 2,400, and most of the new ones are better than most of the old ones. In 2013 craft beer is no longer the exclusive domain of West Coast weirdos and psychotic woodsmen. These fine days you can score Samuel Adams or Sierra Nevada at the least ambitious of convenience stores and Dogfish Head 90 Minute on the least reliable of trains. And then there is Keystone, which first appeared to the world in 1989, in Chico, Calif., home of the Sierra Nevada Brewing Company. Keystone separates itself from the rest of the crap pack by augmenting the typical stale/sour flavor profile with notes of brown bananas and green armpits. Keystone is worse than Heineken and murder.

35. Bud Light Lime. When Anheuser-Busch spit this one out a few years ago it seemed like a pretty good idea, as terrible ideas go. The world never needs more flavors of Bud Light, but the popularity of the otherwise worthless Corona proves that folks love to limen up their beers. Barroom fruit is repulsive—ever think about where your lime's been before it lands in your drink? Nowhere nice—so if Bud Light Lime were any good at all, it would be a little leap forward. But alas, the alleged lime flavoring in no way resembles people food. Bud Light Lime tastes like green Froot Loops soaked in thigh sweat.

34. Genesee Cream Ale. Man, do I want to like Genny Cream. Man, do I not like Genny Cream. I'm a sucker for old-timey regional budget brew, but this is awfully rough stuff. It doesn't even have the dignity to go down swinging with a signature blend of gross flavors, a la Keystone. Genny Cream is just the archetypal stale cardboard crud-juice.

33. Rolling Rock. Smells like three fat guys in a two-man tent.

32. Beer 30. Bonus points for the purple can. No points for anything else.

31. Miller High Life. This is what the bartenders and cool people in my neighborhood drink, and god bless them, I wish I could too. The bottle! The name! The "Champagne of Beers" tagline! But it's just too accidentally sour.

30. Schlitz. I loved Schlitz until a few years ago, when they made a big fuss about reintroducing the "Classic 60s Formula," which tastes yeasty and sweet, like an infected donut.

29. National Bohemian. As one of the few Americans who's never seen The Wire or flashed my tits at the Preakness, I'm largely shut out of the Baltimore conversation, but I HAVE had a Natty Bo, which qualifies me to say, Sure, I get it, hometown pride is nice sometimes. But you do know there are other beers, right?

28. Game Day Ice Ale. Not as bad as 7-Eleven's private label ice beer could be, but still: Do Juggalos have their own special beer? Because if not, I nominate this to be the special Juggalo beer.

27. Miller Genuine Draft. Tastes like the brown ends of corn silk, plus lemon.


Read the rest at the link above. I tried a Genesee Cream Ale a couple of months ago and wanted my money back after the first gulp.
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Replies

  • PicoPico PETTY WAP I GOT THE GASSSSSS AND THE COKE Posts: 32,858 ✭✭✭✭✭
    if its cheap I don't want it
    Crude_
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    bud light lime ain't bad when i wanna split a 12 pack with the lady
    StewMeta_Conscious
  • TheEyeronic1TheEyeronic1 isntiteyeronic.com Posts: 12,300 ✭✭✭✭✭

    i don't fuck with beer like that.


    if im gonna drink, im drinking liquor.
  • Crude_Crude_ Legend Posts: 16,343 ✭✭✭✭✭
    if its cheap I don't want it

    Truth!!!

    That cheap shit does nothing but upset my stomach.

    I don't fuck with cheap liquor shit will leave you with a migraine and case of the shits.

    Pico
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    coors light, bud light, miller light

    i fucks with them all at parties n shit...

    prolly rank them

    miller 1
    bud 2
    coors 3
    king hassanYoung Stef
  • Ajackson17Ajackson17 God King Posts: 16,318 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This list is shitty. American beer is cool for parties and cookouts, but when I want to relax, it's blue moon and european beers.
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    imma beer drinker....as evident by my belly......

    i can't co-sign that list either...and i like to drink the good shit
    Ajackson17Young Stef
  • konceptjoneskonceptjones Posts: 9,113 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Du_Du wrote: »
    bud light lime ain't bad when i wanna split a 12 pack with the lady

    I'd rather revisit my youth and drink a Zima than that bud light lime swill. That shit is pure garbage. Maybe it wouldn't be sooooooo bad if it was Bud Lime, but it's a light, which is inherently horrible, then you add chemical "lime-like" flavor to it and make it even worse.
  • konceptjoneskonceptjones Posts: 9,113 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The one I dispute is Miller High Life, that's my favorite American cheap beer with PBR coming a close second.
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    lol, bud light lime is really not that bad.....
    Ajackson17
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    my top 5

    raging bitch
    loose canon
    dog fish head (60,90,120 mins) ipa
    killians irish red
    yuengling
    Young Stef
  • mryounggunmryounggun Posts: 10,050 ✭✭✭✭✭
    i don't fuck with beer like that.


    if im gonna drink, im drinking liquor.


    Word. The only time I usually fuck with beer is if I'm already drunk and just want to maintain my level of drunkness but not get any drunker. And it's almost always Blue Moon.
  • Lou_CypherLou_Cypher One Cold Ass Honkey It's Cold, AlaskaPosts: 28,235 ✭✭✭✭✭
    If you aint drinking microbrews out here, your fuckin up.

    IPA's for the win.
    I.B. Blackman
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    ha i forgot all about Keystone. thats probably for the best
  • Matt-Matt- Posts: 21,585 ✭✭✭✭✭
    i'm glad to see PBR get into the top 5. I'll take that over any 'cheap beer' it got me through college and i still drink it today just based on gp
  • bgoatbgoat Posts: 3,411 ✭✭✭✭✭
    31. Miller High Life. This is what the bartenders and cool people in my neighborhood drink, and god bless them, I wish I could too. The bottle! The name! The "Champagne of Beers" tagline! But it's just too accidentally sour.



    Shit, I always thought it was sweet.
  • bgoatbgoat Posts: 3,411 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I fucks wit, but I'm not really a beer drinking.

    Yuengling. Why are people so into Yuengling? It's quite popular among the Pennsylvania ex-pat community, which is odd given that the beer sucks and Pennsylvanians don't strike me as an excessively prideful or self-important lot.
  • nawledge_godnawledge_god Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth. Chiraq RefugeePosts: 3,302 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Only Uncultured Niggas Drink That Piss....Microbrews, Craft Beers >>>>>>>
    DWOI.B. Blackman
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    y are non-beer drinkers in here?

    anyway..sam adams selection is heavily shitting on a lottttttta beer companies....
    Ajackson17konceptjonesYoung Stef
  • Ajackson17Ajackson17 God King Posts: 16,318 ✭✭✭✭✭
    That reminds me to get some beer for tomorrow. Nah, I bought the meat and shit, they need to bring the beer and shit.
  • DWODWO †‡§☻☺♥♦♣♠♂♀☼✔♋✎✄☯ツ ♛♛♛♛♛KING SHIT ♛♛♛♛♛Posts: 50,813 Regulator
    Only Uncultured Niggas Drink That Piss....Microbrews, Craft Beers >>>>>>>

    gtfo here with that bougie shit...i appriciate the shit outta good beer...


    but if niggaz ain't got shit but bud and miller lights....

    guess what....

    How-to-Chug-a-Beer.gif
    HafBaykedJusDre313THIRDSUPREMEYoung Stef
  • nawledge_godnawledge_god Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth. Chiraq RefugeePosts: 3,302 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Du_Du wrote: »
    Only Uncultured Niggas Drink That Piss....Microbrews, Craft Beers >>>>>>>

    gtfo here with that bougie shit...i appriciate the shit outta good beer...


    but if niggaz ain't got shit but bud and miller lights....

    guess what....

    How-to-Chug-a-Beer.gif

    Why Drink Inferior Beer If You Don't Have To? I'll Drink A Coors Light If Thats All Available But You Missing Out Out On A Whole World Of Beer If You Only Sticking To Big Brand Beer And Domestics....Sam Adams Is Probably One Of The Better Recognized Brews

    Dark Beers>>>
    Young Stef
  • PicoPico PETTY WAP I GOT THE GASSSSSS AND THE COKE Posts: 32,858 ✭✭✭✭✭
    y'all sound like my old ass daddy
    Young Stef
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