Half on the bills or It's all on him....

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Replies

  • DupacDupac Retired PurgatoryPosts: 67,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    the thread is about bills.....so i applied the logic to bills....however that doesn't take away from the very important part of needing someone.....

    but bruh, your woman has to feel needed...there's no getting around that

    if you feel like you don't have a need for her....then you're absolutely right that's why your relationships didn't work out....that shit's essential.. yall have to need eachother

    nobody is going to stay anywhere for long where they're not needed.....it's just basic social interactions

    deadeyeMissK
  • mryounggunmryounggun Loading up my Grey Matter Glock Posts: 13,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
    DWO wrote: »
    the thread is about bills.....so i applied the logic to bills....however that doesn't take away from the very important part of needing someone.....

    but bruh, your woman has to feel needed...there's no getting around that

    if you feel like you don't have a need for her....then you're absolutely right that's why your relationships didn't work out....that shit's essential.. yall have to need eachother

    nobody is going to stay anywhere for long where they're not needed.....it's just basic social interactions

    Couple questions.

    1. What specifically do you need your wife for?

    2. Where does maturity playa role in all this? To me it seems extremely immature to be only want to be with someone if they actually NEED you for something. That's dangerous to me. I need my woman to be a fully-formed, fully functional, autonomous person before I ever come along.
  • mryounggunmryounggun Loading up my Grey Matter Glock Posts: 13,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @DWO And to clarify, I don't mean what stuff do you make her FEEL like you need her for, like you mentioned in your orbital post. I mean what do you ACTUALLY need her for.
  • DupacDupac Retired PurgatoryPosts: 67,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2016
    it's a difficult thing to explain to someone who's never had someone that close to them.....

    there's a certain kind a understanding, support, and warmth that comes with the right companion that you never even noticed existed before....

    i was always self motivated, and very independent on my own.... but once you really allow someone in.....everything changes..

    my wife keeps me honest as shit.....theres so much more i care about that i wouldn't give a fuck about had it not been for her....i'm way more sensitive and passionate than i ever could have imagined.....

    i'd be a cold bastard if she ever died or we parted for any reason.....

    it's very difficult to explain, but i absolutely need her...i can't imagine how foul i'd be if she was taken from me...

    MissK
  • DupacDupac Retired PurgatoryPosts: 67,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    two of the most unstable and awkward men to be around...

    a recent widower or a man going through a divorce.....


    shit ain't cool at all......
  • DupacDupac Retired PurgatoryPosts: 67,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    also it's ironic that you use the word maturity, because the person who feels they're so dependent that they don't need anybody for anything, is often the most immature....

    some of the most emotionally damaged and unbalanced people I've personally interacted with are those who for whatever specific reasons, can't keep a relationship for the life of them....

    ultimately i guess it's all about balance...it's tuff to list specifics, because each relationship is different, but it's all about balance. for me i need that companionship, i need that person to understand me, i need that person in my corner to keep me focused on what it's all for....


    LPastMissK
  • mryounggunmryounggun Loading up my Grey Matter Glock Posts: 13,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @DWO Yeah,I just realized that we we're talking about 2 totally separate things. When I say I don't need my woman, I mean that before she came along, I had a full, enriched life. There was nothing missing. And if - God forbid - we wen't our separate ways...things my life would still be full and enriched. That's what I mean by NEED.

    Seems like you're talking about something else.

    Agree?
  • yellowtapesportyellowtapesport Posts: 4,304 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yall niggas sound like the lil devil on one shoulder arguing with the angel on the other..
  • DupacDupac Retired PurgatoryPosts: 67,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Need can be a lot of things, but ultimately comes down to no one will stay where they're not needed
  • mryounggunmryounggun Loading up my Grey Matter Glock Posts: 13,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lol. So no answer. Got it. Agree to disagree.
  • mryounggunmryounggun Loading up my Grey Matter Glock Posts: 13,275 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yall niggas sound like the lil devil on one shoulder arguing with the angel on the other..

    Yeah that's usually what it sounds like when two niggas are having a rational conversation on the IC.
    yellowtapesport
  • BlackCatBlackCat Posts: 824 ✭✭✭✭✭
    We split rent and we can divide the bills. I would never live with a man who would pay all the rent. I would feel some type of way. Hell we get into a fight and I can see him throwing that in my face like "I can leave my shoes anywhere, you know what this is my house, I pay the damn rent, I do what I want." Even worse, the mofo could kick you out at 4am in the morning. Smh
    Groceries/food, I would expect both to contribute but I prefer to buy my own groceries.
    BangEm_Bart blackgod813
  • OhMarsOhMars أرسل لي الصور من ثدييك Posts: 6,065 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Joint account.

    *drops mic*
    caddo manBangEm_Bart
  • the dukesterthe dukester Posts: 1,822 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Actually, I volunteer to pay all the bills in my crib. It gives me more "wiggle room" for fuckups, ie, getting caught cheating, potentially losing my job, or other miscellaneous bullshit.

    Plus it validates my manhood as the protector and PROVIDER. It's a real life scenario that I imagined as a little boy, that has come to fruition. So whenever I cheat, I don't feel as guilty, because I know I'm holding the fort down and I feel somewhat justified. Kinda like I've EARNED the right to get some outside trim by way of being a great financial provider.

  • KatKat Don't @ Me to Dumb Shit. H-TownPosts: 48,517 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2016
    DWO wrote: »
    Best way to keep a woman happy is to make sure she feels needed....

    As long as she feels her contribution to the house hold bills are absolutely essential, her self worth will soar...

    The quickest way to make her feel like you don't need her is to set it up to where her money isn't needed,

    A woman is much more likely to seek outside the relationship when she feels unneeded

    I don't know if it's so much about feeling needed as it is feeling like it gives you a say in what goes on in the relationship. When men are paying everything and the sole provider, they tend to want to act like their word is gospel and you have no say in anything.

    You can feel needed in providing other things like keeping his home, his children, feeding him, being his unpaid secretary..but it's when you're contributing financially that it feels like your say holds some weight.


    That said, we would just work it out. He usually paid the rent and I would take care of the monthly bills, but we would step up and help each other when unforeseen issues would come up..car needing work, something breaking and needing replacement, etc.
  • KatKat Don't @ Me to Dumb Shit. H-TownPosts: 48,517 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Actually, I volunteer to pay all the bills in my crib. It gives me more "wiggle room" for fuckups, ie, getting caught cheating, potentially losing my job, or other miscellaneous bullshit.

    .


    ^^ Exhibit A..smh.
    the dukesterValentinez A. KaiserJoshuaMoshua
  • BiblicalAtheist BiblicalAtheist Prude OutskirtsPosts: 14,236 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I prefer to either pay my portion or more, in everything, not just a relationship. I don't like to incur ill will directly or indirectly.
    blackgod813
  • BackInWhiteBackInWhite Posts: 23,591 ✭✭✭✭✭
    OhMars wrote: »
    Joint account.

    *drops mic*

    I can't do it
    She got 1 time to spend my money on some shit I can't do nothing with and that's it
    BangEm_Bart atribecalledgabiFocal Point
  • blacktuxblacktux Posts: 4,341 ✭✭✭✭✭
    50/50 until married.

    Anything else is madness
  • CainCain The audacity of you fuck niggas Cyttorax DimensionPosts: 41,873 Regulator
    _Goldie_ wrote: »
    I'm old school. I prefer taking care of the bills , while she handles the kids and house work.

    This to an extent. She can work and have a job that's great but I try to govern all the bills to be paid out of one income so the others income is just sitting back to be stacked
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 26,452 ✭✭✭✭✭
    DWO wrote: »
    Best way to keep a woman happy is to make sure she feels needed....

    As long as she feels her contribution to the house hold bills are absolutely essential, her self worth will soar...

    The quickest way to make her feel like you don't need her is to set it up to where her money isn't needed,

    A woman is much more likely to seek outside the relationship when she feels unneeded

    i thought women would rather keep their money but want to feel needed in other ways.

    Valentinez A. KaiserBobOblah
  • 2stepz_ahead2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denPosts: 26,452 ✭✭✭✭✭
    mryounggun wrote: »
    We split everything down the middle in my crib. Except cable. I don't want that shit so I ain't paying for it.

    Other than that though, 50/50.

    In my experience, most people only want to abide by traditional gender roles when it benefits them.

    aaahhhhhaaaaa
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