Cleveland Browns Roast Thread

DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
edited September 2011 in From the Cheap Seats
I'm sure the Browns will do many things this season that are roastworthy..may as well have a thread for it.
Here are just a few highlights the cleveland browns and their players have provided us over the years.


They drafted Tim Couch and Brady Quinn both in the first round, each chose to suck instead of having to continue in Cleveland.

Jim Brown chose to retire in his prime, instead of continuing his career with the Browns

1st overall selection, Ernie "the express" Davis chose to make himself die upon learning he had been traded to the cleveland browns

Dante Stallworth killed an innocent man in order to be locked up so he wouldn't have to play for the browns

Owner Art Moddell had to move his team out of cleveland just to win a super bowl

Browns drafted offensive lineman Orlando Brown, but a ref felt so sorry for him, he tried to put the player out of his misery by trowing a flag into his face and causing him to go blind.

Kellen Winslow tried to kill himself while driving his motorcycle

Another first round selection, William Green, decided to throw his career down the toilet during his second season, getting arrested for drunk driving, marijuana, causing a 4 game suspension. His was committed to coming back, but during the suspension his wife stabbed him. He was never the same
JokerKingtexasdaking88CoolJoetraestarGhostdenithegawd
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Replies

  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    This was the inspiration for the thread
    Colt McCoy gets a rude welcome to the NFL

    Posted by Mike Florio on August 7, 2010 2:08 PM ET


    We arrived at the intrasquad scrimmage at Cleveland Browns Stadium a bit late, due in part to a decent turnout fueled by perfect weather conditions in Northeast Ohio.

    And due in part to my effort to put out the Great Twitter Feed Fire of 2010. (Currently, we've gotten the situation under control. You may follow us again.)

    But we arrived in the press box just in time to see rookie quarterback Colt McCoy do his best impersonation of the team's current starter, Jake Delhomme.

    McCoy threw three interceptions during the first half of the scrimmage. One was returned by cornerback Brandon McDonald for a touchdown, who flipped into the end zone and threw the ball into the stands.

    The last McCoy interception came on a desperation heave at the end of the half. At first, it looked like McCoy had connected on a touchdown pass to a wide-open receiver. But then the folks in attendance realized that McCoy's team, consisting of the second-team offense and first-team defense, is wearing white jerseys, and that the Browns player who caught the ball is in brown.

    Meanwhile, there are a pair of youth games being played at halftime, with both featuring far more contact than the scrimmage, which features no live tackling.

    UPDATE: In the early stages of the second-half of the scrimmage, Delhomme has avoided turning the ball over because several of his passes have been so far off the mark that neither the offensive player nor the defense player could catch it.
  • peagle05peagle05 The People's Mod Posts: 25,041 Regulator
    edited August 2010
    6iu3vm.jpg.....................
    25centsandwichtraestar
  • Dick ShitmanDick Shitman Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    tim couch gets a bad rep
    A$AP_A$TON
  • MAKAVELI25MAKAVELI25 Posts: 5,595 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Lol, you got a nigga dying. The Ernie Davis joke hit a little close to home, but still a hilarious list
  • peagle05peagle05 The People's Mod Posts: 25,041 Regulator
    edited August 2010
    Matt- wrote: »

    Owner Art Moddell had to move his team out of cleveland just to win a super bowl

    that was hilarious to me for some reason
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    tim couch gets a bad rep

    yeah, they weren't gonna win, no matter which way they went

    0419_large.jpg
  • Dick ShitmanDick Shitman Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Matt- wrote: »
    yeah, they weren't gonna win, no matter which way they went

    0419_large.jpg

    smh @ the bengals being thrilled akili "fell" to us at #3. i dont know why a brand new franchise would ever make a qb it's first pick


    things are looking up browns fans.

    lebron-browns.jpg

    oh wait...that was just for a commercial???? nevermind. you have nothing to look forward to
    Matt-
  • peagle05peagle05 The People's Mod Posts: 25,041 Regulator
    edited August 2010
    smh @ the bengals being thrilled akili "fell" to us at #3. i dont know why a brand new franchise would ever make a qb it's first pick


    things are looking up browns fans.

    lebron-browns.jpg

    oh wait...that was just for a commercial???? nevermind. you have nothing to look forward to

    and THAT was the moment Bron decided he was leaving, nothing can be worse than suiting up for the Browns..even if its just for a commercial
    BlackAX410Ghostdenithegawd
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    players showing they'll do whatever it takes to not play for the browns
    3:00 p.m.--There was finally some excitement in the scrimmage. Offensive guard Scott Kooistra and linebacker Marcus Benard got into a shoving match after a play, which turned into a fist fight. The fight went on for a while before some linemen finally stepped in and broke it up.

    Both players were ejected from the game, as the referee said, "They will both watch the rest of the scrimmage from the bench

    http://www.newsnet5.com/dpp/sports/football/browns/browns-family-day-scrimmage
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    MAKAVELI25 wrote: »
    Lol, you got a nigga dying. The Ernie Davis joke hit a little close to home, but still a hilarious list

    Close to home? How so?
  • lookdudelookdude Posts: 14,432 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    ocho cinco ethered them niggas on his show, it was part where the girls had to play footbal, he was like "i haven't watched football this bad since i watched the browns play"
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Shaun Rogers and Robaire Smith...........

    Goodell was in town Thursday and told media and fans that the cases were still under review by his office. Rogers was arrested -- appropriately enough -- on April Fool's Day for having a loaded handgun in his carry-on luggage at Cleveland Hopkins International Airport. Smith was busted for a similar incident at Bishop Airport in Flint, Mich., in November 2009.

    Rogers entered a diversion program that will see the federal charges dismissed. The case against Smith, filed last month, is a misdemeanor and carries a maximum penalty of a year in jail and a $1,000 fine.

    Both players said they "forgot" about having the weapons in their luggage.
  • KeepOnPushingKeepOnPushing Posts: 17,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    browns-suck.jpg ............

    depressed-browns-fan.jpg

    cleveland-browns-fan.jpg

    miserable-browns-fan1.jpg
  • peagle05peagle05 The People's Mod Posts: 25,041 Regulator
    edited August 2010
    posterfour.jpg...................
    JokerKing
  • KeepOnPushingKeepOnPushing Posts: 17,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    511TQ15QHHL.jpg ................
  • Dick ShitmanDick Shitman Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    cotdamn @ that chick fil a ether
    Young Stef
  • KeepOnPushingKeepOnPushing Posts: 17,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    .................
    Matt-xtrailltraestar
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Chick fil a needs to get off that closed on Sunday gimmick
    CashmoneyDux
  • KeepOnPushingKeepOnPushing Posts: 17,548 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Matt- wrote: »
    Chick fil a needs to get off that closed on Sunday gimmick

    You aint never lied.....nigga be hungry on sundays too....who started that dumb shit.
  • peagle05peagle05 The People's Mod Posts: 25,041 Regulator
    edited August 2010
    Cleveland Browns Fight Song

    "All we do is lose lose lose no matter what,
    our quarterback's a bum and so's the one that's next up
    and every time we walk up in the buliding
    the referees hands go up...but we aint scorin
    NO!!
    we aint scorin
    NO!!
    we aint scorin
    but they are, but they are, but they are
    cause all we do is lose lose lose,
    and if your gonna score
    we will gladly step aside and let you stay there"
    Mark_Doubt
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Makes no sense. They even have the audacity to have tailgate specials. how Tha fuck am I gonna reheat 100 nuggets?
  • Dick ShitmanDick Shitman Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    You aint never lied.....nigga be hungry on sundays too....who started that dumb shit.

    the founders were religious people so they dont work on sundays smh
    Young Stef
  • DariusDarius Posts: 22,650 ✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Yeah the best way to keep the Browns away from your house is to paint an endzone on your lawn
    bigstevie
  • Dick ShitmanDick Shitman Posts: 9,032 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    if moe james hadnt killed himself after lebron left, he'd be outraged at this thread
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