The day started out like any other day, except there was something in the wood works that was about to be exposed. The other kids were picking on Fundz again, this time providing proof of his overwhelming homoerotic love for men… an obsession if you will, matched only by blank man. Du caught wind of what was going down and decided to be nosey and jump into the middle of it, more confident of his new title, ‘Hall Monitor’.
Like moths to a flame, and fetuses to hangers, the kids decided to jump Du, as Fundz avoided them all day. Du took shots in the form of hooks, crosses, flying kicks, and uppercuts, the kids opting to swing for the fence, instead of setting him up with the jab.
All the while this was happening, Fundz watched from a distance, cowering behind a bush.
Before long, a man named Capital B walked up on the assault taking place and instead of getting his share of licks in, he opted instead to pull out his Desert Eagle, complete with ether laced, soul piercing bullets. He informed everyone to step back, pointed and fired. The bullet hit Du, his soul, & his shadow, splitting them apart and creating a trifecta of victims. Du pulled himself back together (blood stains in the form of ‘L’, littered the ground from where all three victims lay) and fought back, but with the sight of him weakened, everyone took shots, forcing him to retreat and live to fight another day. After everyone cleared out and only after it was safe, Fundz charged the site of the Du Day Massacre, knowing no one would be there to witness his bravery. He even camped out overnight, hoping someone would come along to test his gangsta.
The next day people asked Fundz why he didn’t help Du when he got jumped and all Fundz could say was that “mama taught me to fight my own battles.” The moral of this story is that if you’re being attacked, the best line of defense is to seek out the nearest bush and watch someone else take your ass whoopin’.