Lies on Lies on Lies. Niggas lie everyday b, sometimes for no reason at all. We lie to our girlfriends, we lie to our boss and of course, a lot of you even lie on Twitter. When it’s 2am and your girl rolls over and asks who your’re texting, you gonna tell her “Oh nobody babe, just some hoe from Facebook.”?? NOPE, not unless you want the bedroom to turn into Armageddon. You’re gonna use the first lie that comes to your head and say you’re checking your email or playing Angry Birds. Now that I think about it, boyfriends just might even be dopest liars on the planet. But nobody, i repeat, NOBODY, lies more than a rapper inside of a recording booth. I don’t mean entry level rookie mode lies either. I’m talking intermediate hi definition ALL MADDEN lies. The type of lies you hear that make you pull over on the highway and just reflect on life. You throw on a song by a mixtape rapper, and I guarantee the sound of fairy tales will surround you and your loved ones.
So I took it upon myself to put together a list of the top 10 biggest lies ever told in a rap song. And if any of you actually believed these fabricated bars, I can tell you fall for the “Follow me back so I can DM you” trap at least twice a week. Smh. Fuckin’ buffoons. Anyway, let’s get started.
Song: Aim For The Head
Lie: “And that ice on your sleeve, thats light cheese/ I spend a hundred Gs a year on white tees“
My nigga Cassidy, a.k.a Barry Reese, claimed he spent one-hundred THOUSAND smackeroos on white tees a year. Who was believing this shit?! He really had the nerve to end his verse with this catastrophic lie too. If you listen closely, you can hear him slam the headphones down and storm out the booth with confident footsteps. I refused to believe my ears when I heard this tall ass tale.
Song: “We Gon Make It“
Lie: “My Bathtub lift up, My walls do a 360/ We got the shit that the government got“
Dog dog dog…..Nigga said his bathtub LIFTS UP and his walls do a 360. A three-hundred and sixty degree rotation b. Word??? I know the people over at Ruff Ryders were NOT paying this nigga Jadakiss enough to afford furniture from the Matrix. This was a stone cold 3 dimensional lie that not one single soul should have believed
Song: “Never Change“
Lie: “Lost 92 bricks, had to fall back/ Knocked a nigga off his feet but i crawled back“
Yo…Yo Sean…Mr. Carter…My nigga….92 BRICKS THOUGH?! So you lost 92 kilos of coke and just crawled right back huh? Nah b, there’s not even a code in Grand Theft Auto that lets you pull off that type of shit. “We don’t believe you. You need more people“
Artist: J.R. Writer
Song: “I’m About To Make History“
Lie: “The best that did it fam/ Plus internationally known, my freestyles alone get requested in Japan“
Close your eyes and say this out loud to yourself slowly…..”J.R. Writer requested in Japan”. The words “requested” and “Japan” shouldn’t even be in the same sentence as J.R. Writer. And to top it all off, he ain’t even say his songs are getting requested. He said his FREESTYLES are. LMAO! Nigga got that diplomat eagle charm and totally forgot how to behave in the booth.
Song: “#1 Stunna“
Lie: “I’m tryin’ to put platinum eyebrows on these hoes. I Just bought me a platinum football field nigga, you understand?“
Nigga WHAT?! LMAO. I swear to you I shed 6 tears when I heard this nigga Birdman babbling at the end of this song. He really got behind that mic and said he’s trying to put platinum eyebrows on bitches. Then proceeded to tell us he just purchased 100 yards of pure raw platinum. I don’t even wanna know what he had in his blunt that made him spill these lies all over this track.
Song: “Cross The Boarder Remix”
Lie: “The way I used to equip em with features/ I was comin’ to junior high school in better whips than the teachers“
Nope, not college, not high school, Fab said he was coming to JUNIOR HIGH in better cars than his teachers b. Unbelievable right? Of course it’s fuckin’ unbelievable. This whole verse was actually top shelf fantasy rap. Junior high is 6th through 8th grade my nigga. Unless you stayed back for a good 4 or 5 years you wasn’t driving SHIT to school in junior high.
Artist: Rick Ross
Lie: “I know Pablo, Noriega/ The REAL Noriega, he owe me a hundred favors“
Oh word? So you know Pablo Escobar personally right? Y’all niggas used to kick it and shit? Play spades? Oh. And not only do you know Noriega, the REAL Noriega, he owes you one hundred favors? Get alllll the way the fuck outta here. I guarantee neither Pablo Escobar OR Noriega would recognize you or your beard if y’all were ever in the same room together.
Song: “Get No Better“
Lie: “I made hella paper on the block/ That’s why I’m about to put a 3 story elevator in my yacht“
Yeah I definitely had to get you again dog. A 3 story elevator in your yacht? So you was in a yacht, the size of the Titanic, out on those violent Atlantic Ocean waves? NAH. The chick in the video even laughed in your face when she heard this shit. Did they even allow niggas with durags under their fitted to purchase yachts? I highly doubt it.
Song: “Only One Way Up“
Lie: “3 months alone, Sizzurp done smashed Hypnotic/ We them B-boys in 1 year a quarter billion/ Here comes the clothing line, I got your order children“
Wait, Huh?! You made a quarter BILLION off Sizzurp in 1 year? $250,000,000 fam? All those computers you were putin’ had you coming up with lies from a whole different solar system. A quarter billion off an alcoholic beverage that was only poppin’ for 1 summer? Nobody believes you Mr. Giles.
Song: “So Appalled Freestyle“
Lie: “Chrome 4-5thin because they still snitchin’/ The Pool’s in the living room, swim to the kitchen“
Yup, this is the absolute grand daddy of em’ all. Your man Jadakiss stood there and flat out told us he has a swimming pool inside his goddamn living room. My check engine light came on when this shit came through my speakers. Imagine this nigga getting up from the couch, doing a cannon ball inside the pool, then doggy paddling his way to the pantry and fridge. After this lie, the last bit of trust I had in Jadakiss completely vanished, never to be seen again.
There you have it folks. The top 10 biggest lies ever told in a rap song. As you can see, Jadakiss & Cassidy both made the list twice. These two niggas are not to be trusted. And don’t think we forgot about the jet ski limo Kiss! Well aight yo, I’m outta here. Y’all be cool how y’all be cool.
Oh, and remember….It’s not cheating if she only knows you by your twitter name……#FACT
Hilarious... I thought ross' and jay's shit should have been higher lol.