4 1/2 minute regret

VSOP · August 2011

lifes hectic right now....had to let loose on some ish...i know its long but comments welcome if you read it

ventin....

bless

[FONT="Georgia"][B]man blessed with Lazarus lines like the jailyard ears from SLAM damned a screw up since my 1st child years in jammies Pappy's aborted son he left my momma when I was born I was a thorn inside the 18 year old eyes of regret the future of a mental pimp dims he gets this 16 year old chick pregnant he splits he splits phillies and flips them into spliffs he's innocent and guilty I am him a grown up coat hanger in the toilet I was jizz that mistake 4 and 1/2 minutes later I am "SHIT..the condom ripped" I see my reflection I am my fathers double personality's twin he mustve seen a prison through that empty quart of Schlitz thinkin to himself "....it started off with a kiss now this bitch got a kid..." ...his story is my history.... man her heart must been torn apart into a million pieces thinkin to herself "....it started off with a kiss then he started feelin on my titties...." he left for a month when he found out but she took him back after a million pleases time owed so she got past the look on his face amazed that the condom broke him bein impatient for the next "time of the month" she musta wondered "why....did he stick around for 9 more? a few nights a week he screams at me that "IM A WHORE! HE'S GOT ME THINKING THAT IM SURE THAT HES NOT THE DADDY ANYMORE!!" fuck him but she loved him must seen somethin in him prolly just a spitting image of me she shoulda swallowed or spit out me but she got the best of me 274 days later he wasn't impressed by me family tree dug up cut up nicely and turnt into middle eastern pickets signs of "FUCK US!!" everything but love nothing but lust unwanted eyes red over God's bluefingerprints uninterested in his design torn off parental advisory stickers adoption papers signed cattle sold before its prime she was probably thinkin "this is bullshit he has my eyes...." ...her story is my purgatory and this is my story and I am regret... I was a threat to a teenage relationship cringin' when I think of my father throwin my mother fellatio hints wonderin If I've used lines of his...... and why didn't she listen?!? family reunion dreams float under smokin newport bridges Ive lived my life lost and stupid shit equals court visits drinkin liquor takin pills addiction my adopted dads dad my granddad would call me a "Piss ant" damn I miss him I shouldn't I shouldn't even have known him if my birth father wouldve grown up but he didn't what would happen if he didn't leave my birthmothers mother's kid when her kid was havin her grandkid I'm blank with questions... what was goin through his mind when he walked out the door on his little whore when she was havin his lil boy is drivvvvvvin me crazy but I can walk from here rearview mirror fixed baby on board on the basket of the Scwhinn? negative put me up for adoption cuz you were a kid havin a kid ...it took me 30 years to be able to thank him my birthmother died from a car accident weeks later if she woulda kept me I prolly woulda been with her but I wasn't I was adopted by 2 loving college graduates who had a dream and that dream was me lord knows why they'd want me?!!? the seed of an 18 year old of Italian and Irish creed Tattoed memories of "I love to drink and I drink to love" my new dad is a preacher and my adoptive mother is a nut like her son I love em I wish my birthmother coulda met em..... a family tree with no branches and no roots father......I am the old you with a winner smile I owe you heres a middle finger from my inner child.....[/B][/FONT] [/CODE][CODE]
man
blessed with Lazarus lines like the jailyard ears from SLAM
damned
a screw up since my 1st child years in jammies
Pappy's aborted son
he left my momma when I was born
I was a thorn inside the 18 year old eyes of regret
the future of a mental pimp dims
he gets this 16 year old chick pregnant
he splits
he splits phillies and flips them into spliffs
he's innocent and guilty
I am him
a grown up coat hanger in the toilet
I was jizz
that mistake 4 and 1/2 minutes later
I am "SHIT..the condom ripped"
I see my reflection
I am my fathers double personality's twin
he mustve seen a prison through that empty quart of Schlitz
thinkin to himself
"....it started off with a kiss
now this bitch got a kid..."

...his story is my history....

man
her heart must been torn apart into a million pieces
thinkin to herself
"....it started off with a kiss
then he started feelin on my titties...."
he left for a month when he found out
but she took him back after a million pleases
time owed so she got past the look on his face
amazed that the condom broke
him bein impatient for the next "time of the month"
she musta wondered "why....did he stick around for 9 more?
a few nights a week he screams at me that "IM A WHORE!
HE'S GOT ME THINKING THAT IM SURE THAT HES NOT THE DADDY ANYMORE!!"

fuck him

but she loved him
must seen somethin in him
prolly just a spitting image of me
she shoulda swallowed or spit out me
but she got the best of me
274 days later
he wasn't impressed by me
family tree dug up
cut up nicely and turnt into middle eastern pickets signs of "FUCK US!!"
everything but love
nothing but lust
unwanted

eyes red over God's bluefingerprints
uninterested in his design
torn off parental advisory stickers
adoption papers signed
cattle sold before its prime
she was probably thinkin
"this is bullshit
he has my eyes...."

...her story is my purgatory and this is my story and I am regret...

I was a threat to a teenage relationship
cringin'
when I think of my father throwin my mother fellatio hints
wonderin
If I've used lines of his......
and why didn't she listen?!?

family reunion dreams float under smokin newport bridges
Ive lived my life lost
and stupid shit equals court visits
drinkin liquor
takin pills
addiction
my adopted dads dad
my granddad would call me a "Piss ant"

damn I miss him

I shouldn't

I shouldn't even have known him
if my birth father wouldve grown up but he didn't
what would happen
if he didn't leave my birthmothers mother's kid when her kid was havin her grandkid

I'm blank with questions...

what was goin through his mind
when he walked out the door on his little whore
when she was havin his lil boy is drivvvvvvin me crazy

but I can walk from here
rearview mirror fixed
baby on board on the basket of the Scwhinn?
negative
put me up for adoption cuz you were a kid havin a kid

...it took me 30 years to be able to thank him
my birthmother died from a car accident weeks later
if she woulda kept me
I prolly woulda been with her

but I wasn't

I was adopted by 2 loving college graduates who had a dream and that dream was me
lord knows why they'd want me?!!?
the seed of an 18 year old of Italian and Irish creed
Tattoed memories of "I love to drink and I drink to love"
my new dad is a preacher and my adoptive mother is a nut like her son
I love em
I wish my birthmother coulda met em.....

a family tree with no branches and no roots

father......I am the old you with a winner smile

I owe you

heres a middle finger from my inner child.....
[/CODE]

tupacfan · August 2011

Im gonna have to take some time and re-read this..

but this post is just letting u know I ain't sleeping on your jawns lol...

VSOP · August 2011

tupacfan wrote: »

Im gonna have to take some time and re-read this..

but this post is just letting u know I ain't sleeping on your jawns lol...

lol no worries

I didn't think this piece would be so damn long myself-I went to reread and I caught myself sayin "damn thats long...." ................then contemplated readin it or not lol

RuffDraft · September 2011

DAMMN! VSOP this piece is no joke fam, I loved it!!!

I can relate to it, I too am adopted, although my birth mother is still my mom (I just switched dads).

Props on this piece, you really flipped it and the last three lines are really nice way to set it off too… but my favourite part of this poem in particular is that the flow is so effortless and unforced as much as the verses are laid out with headings etc… just a great piece all round, superb! Congrats on this piece one of my favourites of yours :tu

VSOP · September 2011

RuffDraft wrote: »

DAMMN! VSOP this piece is no joke fam, I loved it!!!

I can relate to it, I too am adopted, although my birth mother is still my mom (I just switched dads).

Props on this piece, you really flipped it and the last three lines are really nice way to set it off too… but my favourite part of this poem in particular is that the flow is so effortless and unforced as much as the verses are laid out with headings etc… just a great piece all round, superb! Congrats on this piece one of my favourites of yours :tu

thanks for the feedback RD-definitely a touchy subject for most my life

its crazy how people still get so amazed when I tell them I'm adopted like its a rarity or somethin.....

but again good looks for takin time to read, I know its easier said than done lately in WTE-I need to step up my reply game myself

bless

RuffDraft · September 2011

VSOP wrote: »

thanks for the feedback RD-definitely a touchy subject for most my life

its crazy how people still get so amazed when I tell them I'm adopted like its a rarity or somethin.....

but again good looks for takin time to read, I know its easier said than done lately in WTE-I need to step up my reply game myself

bless

Yeah, it's dope that you can recognise something that affects you and direct it in a positive fashion towards poetry yet channeling the pain out of your system at the same time.

To be honest, I feel that you should let the birth dad go… only so long someone should matter, no matter their influence or significance… even close family. I know it's easier said than done though.

Keep droppin' 'em!

VSOP · September 2011

Young-Ice wrote: »

there are people who would kill to write like that

nice piece

thanks for takin the time to read and reply

much appreciated fam

bless

VSOP · September 2011

RuffDraft wrote: »

Yeah, it's dope that you can recognise something that affects you and direct it in a positive fashion towards poetry yet channeling the pain out of your system at the same time.

To be honest, I feel that you should let the birth dad go… only so long someone should matter, no matter their influence or significance… even close family. I know it's easier said than done though.

Keep droppin' 'em!

its not even much of an afterthought on my mind, adoption isn't a thought that comes up daily ya feel me? I was just talkin to someone about it and the story that I know, came home and jus ran with it while still fresh on the brain

thanks for takin time to read though my dude

REAL_POETICAL · September 2011

wowwwwww....this piece open some wounds that I've yet healed...you literally spoke to those that endured the abandoned with flare and ammunition...each line was raw and open from the heart...you poured your soul into this poem and the results was jawdropping...thats the reason why as much as I "retire" and wanna quit being a writer/poet....I come crawling back to put in work and see work from those that take the art seriously

a family tree with no branches and no roots

father......I am the old you with a winner smile

I owe you

heres a middle finger from my inner child.....

almost choke up with that line...especially from the perspective of a single mother child with a dude that posed as a "stepdad"...but enough of that....bottom line you still is one of the best poets to ever typed in this fucking sub forum...keep dropping those lines of pure truth called poetry my fellow poet

peace

sums up

RuffDraft · September 2011

VSOP wrote: »

its not even much of an afterthought on my mind, adoption isn't a thought that comes up daily ya feel me? I was just talkin to someone about it and the story that I know, came home and jus ran with it while still fresh on the brain

thanks for takin time to read though my dude

Yeah, I understand :tu

No problem, keep 'em coming!

VSOP · September 2011

REAL_POETICAL wrote: »

wowwwwww....this piece open some wounds that I've yet healed...you literally spoke to those that endured the abandoned with flare and ammunition...each line was raw and open from the heart...you poured your soul into this poem and the results was jawdropping...thats the reason why as much as I "retire" and wanna quit being a writer/poet....I come crawling back to put in work and see work from those that take the art seriously

a family tree with no branches and no roots

father......I am the old you with a winner smile

I owe you

heres a middle finger from my inner child.....

almost choke up with that line...especially from the perspective of a single mother child with a dude that posed as a "stepdad"...but enough of that....bottom line you still is one of the best poets to ever typed in this fucking sub forum...keep dropping those lines of pure truth called poetry my fellow poet

peace

sums up

my dude I always preciate ya feedback

I think 75% of the nation has this feeling in they memory that can't be touched ya feel me?

its one of those unspeakable topics that I never talk about but writing to strangers lets me vent lol as sad as that seems---sometimes needed

bless

tupacfan · September 2011

BRAVO!

one of THEE best pieces i've read around here lately!

this was ill VSOP, like it's sad too. but you definitly brought the emotions out.. Glad to see you around here often too

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4 1/2 minute regret

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