Am I the only one who finds it unfair to expect Kids to fend for themselves after 18?

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Replies

  • 5th Letter5th Letter Posts: 23,829
    Kicking out someone at 18 just for the sake of it makes no sense. Give your kid a chance to work or go to school and establish themselves in life.
  • texas409texas409 Posts: 10,836
    My mom kicked me out 2 weeks after graduation at 17 I wasn't ready but I made due
  • bull6599bull6599 Posts: 6,298
    My parents said either college or get a job, but they really stressed college though. They said as long as I pursued my education they'd support me (financially) as much as possible. I ended up getting a job anyway b/c I wanted my own $ for clothes, shoes, etc. I woulda felt like a brat asking for more since they paid for books, groceries, cell phone, etc.

    If I had chosen to not go to college my pops told me I had a year and a half to get a job & save $ for my own place.
  • SlickestRSlickestR Posts: 2,787
    edited May 2012
    18 is not a random ass age... by society standards, 18 is the age where one is an adult. It all depends on mature the person is, if they can take responsibility and have the ambition to want to make something of themselves in life.

    Life gets harder after high school, after you're mom and pops don't have to clean up after you or baby you around anymore... the responsible parents are suppose to set you up for success and stability, the ones that throw you out of the house at 18, either have some sort of reason, or they're gave up on their responsibility and set their offspring for failure.

    with that said, for some of those parents it can be an excuse to stop raising their children because they don't wanna do it anymore.
  • unRealLady1unRealLady1 Posts: 1,081
    truthfully I was on my own since 15...taking care of myself. I always thought I was made too responsible as a kid. I didnt hardly play as a kid. I was a lil too serious. I think thats how I went in depression. Life do not suppose to be extra serious with a overload of responsiblity. Some people think thats maturity, but you suppose to be young why you can, because nothing is up the road but death.
  • Wild SelfWild Self Posts: 4,219
    edited May 2012
    blackrain wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    How is your child supposed to be independent if you don't give them that push ?

    That's not to say you're going to treat them like a complete stranger after they turn 18 but you should definitely set a limit. What's wrong with that ?

    The problem is 18 is a random ass age to pick to declare someone as being able to be independent...there's 16 year olds who could probably take care of themselves just like there's 46 year olds who can't...there's nothing magically that turns on in the human brain at the age of 18 that makes someone instantly more capable of taking care of themselves...

    Some people don't understand that shit at all. And America is the only country that does that shit for the hell of it, without a plan.
  • T.TaylorT.Taylor Posts: 20,897
    I did it and it turned out to be the best thing my parents did for me.#responsibilities
  • lamontbdclamontbdc Posts: 14,873
    shit my grandfather gave me the nigga you bout to be 18 and you bout to be outta my house speech. they let me cook for a year to save some bread. I moved out when i was 19 and never been back since. Dam i had so many mice in my 1st studio apartment i used to call them my roommates. That shit taught me a lot for real. They looked out once i went to college and then when i had my daughter they really helped out. They knew me going to school working to pay for my shit and having a daughter was a load on a brother's shoulders.

    I'm not gonna kick my daughter out at 18 but she better be coming with a plan she not gonna be in the house just chilling and living off me once she hits 18. the clock will be ticking
  • unRealLady1unRealLady1 Posts: 1,081
    edited May 2012
    Wild Self wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    How is your child supposed to be independent if you don't give them that push ?

    That's not to say you're going to treat them like a complete stranger after they turn 18 but you should definitely set a limit. What's wrong with that ?

    The problem is 18 is a random ass age to pick to declare someone as being able to be independent...there's 16 year olds who could probably take care of themselves just like there's 46 year olds who can't...there's nothing magically that turns on in the human brain at the age of 18 that makes someone instantly more capable of taking care of themselves...

    Some people don't understand that shit at all. And America is the only country that does that shit for the hell of it, without a plan.

    I agree with this. I wasnt kicked out the house, my mother was going thru a lot and I had to become responsible..because I had sense of awareness and could do alot when I was young, the responsbility fell on me. It was like I was being punished for being smart.

    when I was 16 I was basicly my mother room mate. She didnt bother me at all, and I got my own money and helped her with the bills. but every since around 15 she let me go from her wing. She treated more responsible because I was smart.. which was good and bad.

    When I say I was on my own, I'm talking about decisions. @ 15 my mother let me make my own decisions. Most people wait until 18. So when I was 15 my mother treated me like I was 18.. I was on my own. I didnt have curfews....she would always say I know right from wrong, and it was up to me to make responsible decisions. Good and bad

    the good thing is, by the timeI got in my 20's.. I definately wasnt blind and I knew right from wrong. The bad thing is I felt stressed out and overwhelmed, and felt like I was too much under pressure for my age
  • BookwormBookworm Posts: 998
    I honestly don't know anyone whose parents put them out just because they turned 18. The only ones I know who got put out at 18 were the disrespectful "wanna do my own thing, but live off you" types. I was helping pay bills since I was working at 16 and I left home when I was 19. If I got put ended up homeless today, I could always go back home.
  • The ProdigalsonThe Prodigalson Posts: 8,142
    A 18 rit out of high school no. They have to go to college though. I wouldn't put then out on the street. As long as they are working or school they could stay until they were ready to move out. 25 they gone though.
  • BookwormBookworm Posts: 998
    A 18 rit out of high school no. They have to go to college though. I wouldn't put then out on the street. As long as they are working or school they could stay until they were ready to move out. 25 they gone though.

    That's a good cutoff age. I grew up in poverty so it seemed to be more of a problem on the opposite end. I saw way more grown azz ( 25+) people living off their parents than 18 year olds being put out.
  • My problem isn't necessarily expecting kids to fend for themselves after 18, it's when parents don't put their children up on game and then expect them to just get it together when they kick them out. It's the equivalent of a Lioness not teaching her cubs to hunt before sending them on their own.

    ^this
  • 7figz7figz Posts: 9,382
    blackrain wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    How is your child supposed to be independent if you don't give them that push ?

    That's not to say you're going to treat them like a complete stranger after they turn 18 but you should definitely set a limit. What's wrong with that ?

    The problem is 18 is a random ass age to pick to declare someone as being able to be independent...there's 16 year olds who could probably take care of themselves just like there's 46 year olds who can't...there's nothing magically that turns on in the human brain at the age of 18 that makes someone instantly more capable of taking care of themselves...

    True - and the same can be said about the age of consent. (no pedo)

    I think when they start college, you should begin cutting the cord - then after college, they should stand on their own two.
  • damobb2deepdamobb2deep Posts: 12,885
    @ caddo I was 8 and homeless so I had 2 take care of myself or not eat... and @ 16 I got a job and haven't asked anybody 4 shyt sense...
  • blackrainblackrain Posts: 17,036
    7fIG wrote: »
    blackrain wrote: »
    7fIG wrote: »
    How is your child supposed to be independent if you don't give them that push ?

    That's not to say you're going to treat them like a complete stranger after they turn 18 but you should definitely set a limit. What's wrong with that ?

    The problem is 18 is a random ass age to pick to declare someone as being able to be independent...there's 16 year olds who could probably take care of themselves just like there's 46 year olds who can't...there's nothing magically that turns on in the human brain at the age of 18 that makes someone instantly more capable of taking care of themselves...

    True - and the same can be said about the age of consent. (no pedo)

    I think when they start college, you should begin cutting the cord - then after college, they should stand on their own two.

    I'd even give at least a year or so after college to save some money to get their own place ...in this economy ain't like finding a job is easy, especially right out of college...
  • Black_SamsonBlack_Samson Posts: 38,250
    @MAKAVELI25
    @idoitforhiphop10
    @bkkbully
    @atribecalledgabi
    @NothingButTheTruth


    awww whats wrong? did i touch a nerve?
    lol @ you niggas and your mommy issues...
    yall know yall sick right?
    thats all this is, a bunch of young men who smell their mothers menstruating, whilst still in the throws of puberty.

    you are subconsciously reacting to that shit.... much like a stud to a bitch in heat...
    that's why you don't want to leave.... you fucking freaks...

    your momma too old to produce colostrum.
    Fucking pussys.
    You are a financial burden on your parents, all you do is consume.

    you are selfish and entitled.

    Let go of your oedipus complex, your momma wanna get her freak on too... and not with you....

  • GnawledgeableGnawledgeable Posts: 1,768
    Your parents don't love you if they kick you out at 18 because if you at least work, to go to school until you get situated, you could stay.
  • Judah BackJudah Back Posts: 6,033
    i feel like at 18 they should be on ya ass about gettin out and by 21 you should be on about ya way



    my mom told me i could just come back in stay but im a independent kat. i like the satisfaction of knowin i did it myself, thru the struggle and all
  • Black_SamsonBlack_Samson Posts: 38,250

    Your parents don't love you if they kick you out at 18 because if you at least work, to go to school until you get situated, you could stay.
    thats reasonable tho...
    im willing to bet most these niggas aint got shit going for them...

  • So ILLSo ILL Posts: 5,683
    "Around here, you gone WORK or go to SCHOOL. The first of the month, the rent is due. If you ain't got nothin' on the table, you don't have to worry about catchin' no dog....You gotta worry about a dog CATCHIN' YO ASS!..."
  • ChromaStonedChromaStoned Posts: 938
    parental fail if kids dont fend for themselves after 18
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