| 8 months ago :: Dec 01, 2008 - 11:56PM #1 | |
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I know this topic is one of the most done topics on the GNS. But I really want to know what the appeal of marriage is to folk. Why do people have to promise their lives to another in a ceremony to be serious about their love? What REAL stability does it offer? And I'm speaking strictly on the love tip, not on a financial level or anything because to me that shit is irrelevant in matters of love.
So basically I ask proponents of marriage, what does it offer you? Why do you need the ceremony and labels to have a lasting relationship? Does the good outwieght the bad? Does a woman get more than a man? Are men supposed to have to walk with that fact?
Edit: Religious folks this thread is not for you I already know why YALL get married.
Could it be? If you could be mine we'd both shine.
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:03AM #2 | |
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As cynical as I am about me getting married, I think that love isn't what most people think it is. It isn't that stuff that happens on the movie, because you still gotta deal with that person after the credits role, every.... single.... day... I know you said you don't want to hear about the financial and etc. stuff but what keeps people together is when they realize that they can mutually trust one enough to support them financially, physically, and emotionally if need be. I personally don't want to get involved in that because I believe everything good and bad comes to an end. But if somebody finds someone who they will be content with spending the rest of their life with, deepest darkest secrets, money, house, family, etc., then more power to them. I'm not that trusting of human nature.
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:05AM #3 | |
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Damn Step...nigga do u be lookin over my shoulder or sumthin...? Its like u stay making threads about convos I just had the day before.....*shrugs*
Anyway I was talkin wit my Moms bout this the other day.... My position was/is that People cannot defend Marriage without bringin Religion(a theory) or The fear of Divorce/Losing Money from the Breakup Into the argument.
So I ask...Does the married couple trust each other more or does the Shacked up couple....cuz the latter has mre on the line to lose
I'd rather put me before yall/some call that self-centered I call it being smart-Joe Budden
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:06AM #4 | |
How does the shacked up one have more to lose?
Could it be? If you could be mine we'd both shine.
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:08AM #5 | |
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Okay after reading the OP....Strictly on a Love level... There is no point.(see my first post). I think marriage exposes the fact that people dont trust others as much as they pretend to....thus the needfor a Marriage to "take things to the next level"(whatever that means) Nothing wrong with Spending the rest of ur life with someone...But I refuse to belive that Marriage is a decision of the HEart and not the Wallet
I'd rather put me before yall/some call that self-centered I call it being smart-Joe Budden
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:09AM #6 | |
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This is my opinion on marriage
Marriage is nothing more than legal reassurance that you're in a relationship. To me, it's pointless and costly. Human handcuffs if you will. Anything that can be had with marriage can be had without marriage. Society has constructed this belief into the minds of people that you must be married in order to be official. But I feel it's a limitation. Marriage brings out the worst in people. Divorces rarely end peacefully. Very few people get married for the right reasons. Vows are never kept. I even know some people that expect to get married at least 4 times in their lifetime. Silly ass niggas... Wedding bands are really handcuffs. Why is it you become your partners property after you get married? Love is constricted by the standards. Damn the standards. Let your love grow. People suffocate it with marriage all too often. I don't believe in that shit.
For Your Health!
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:09AM #7 | |
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i personally feel the same way Step. Besides the fact that i'm not religious, marriage as an institution, or even on a "meaningful" level doesnt make sense to me. Everything good or bad that can happen in marriage can happen outside of it as well [children, cheating,etc] and a ceremony certainly doesnt mean that i love you.
in relation to my own situation, i feel like if i were to get married to a woman who puts a lot of emphasis on marriage that instead of enjoying one another and letting our relationship evolve naturally, we'll be spending too much time trying to live up to the idea of what an ideal marriage is supposed to be.
i dont really want to be married [i'd go through life engaged though] but if it came down to it, i wouldnt have a problem calling a woman my wife. my problem is that if i'm going to be in a long committed realtionship, i want to feel like i'm there and i stick around because i want to be there and stick around; not because i now have a moral/legal/superficial obligation to do so. i just dont want my relationship to become a burden down the line. |
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:11AM #8 | |
If ur married...and U get divorced U have to split assets.. U at least walking away with somthing. Now(excluding commonlaw marriage) an Unmarried coupleis like a business partnerships but if u depend on ur wife to pay the rent and u pay the car notes, bills, food....and she up and leaves.....ur not protected
I'd rather put me before yall/some call that self-centered I call it being smart-Joe Budden
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:13AM #9 | |
Sounds a whole lot more natural than divorce.
Could it be? If you could be mine we'd both shine.
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| 8 months ago :: Dec 02, 2008 - 12:17AM #10 | |
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I was having this talk wit my mother cuz my sis is going to marry her boyfriend and we dont think its for the right reasons..and she wanted to know when I was gonna give her Grandkids(lol)...cuz she wasnt excited bou the idea of my sis having kids by dude.
I told her I dont know if I believe in Marriage...whats the point(i asked her)...Whats the difference if I decide to just call some woman my wife minus the ceremony and contract...does that not make our love real?? She replied..that marriage is to protect both parties in case of divorce(financial) or if ur religious(im not) its the right thing to do.
I told her dont hold ur breath
I'd rather put me before yall/some call that self-centered I call it being smart-Joe Budden
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The Marriage Discussion, Debate and Arguement Thread
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