I mean...i really don't have any advice to offer. Never been in the situation. I'm not going to rant or tell you you're wrong for your choice, because it's just that, YOUR choice.
Despite what the believers or myself may say to try and sway you different is pointless if you don't believe within yourself. I don't know what lead to your personal apostasy, but I'm sure you have your reasons. Hope it works out for the best fam.