Berto VS RVD: Berto wins with the Cross Arm Masturbator
2 Niggas who job VS 2 other Niggas who job: 2 Other Niggas who Job wins after Cesaro does the pointless ass Swing on Great Khali
CM Punk VS Ryberg: Punk wins via a shot to Rywack's jewels. In other news, Paul Heyman cried a little when he saw what happened to Ryback's nuts.
AJ VS Skinny Bella: Skinny Bella took a lawse.
Kofi VS Bray Wyatt AKA Wacktion Bronson: Kofi continues his slide into irrelevance as the Nigga formerly known as Husky Harris continues to win in a build up towards more nonsense promos....and nothing else
Brad Maddox still using an iPhone 5.
Rhodes Fam VS CM Bunk, Dollar Store Heath Ledger, And The Rock them's Cousin who you didn't actually know was they Cousin: The Shield took an epic lawse. Dean Hambrose caught the Bionic Elbow.
R-Troof VS Curtis McGillWaxel: Axel picks up the win while continuing to be boring. I was sucking on my girl's titty this entire matchup.
Randy Orton VS Daniel Goatface Bryanson: Show came out and laid out everyone Involved. No finish.
And That's been Blackkevblazini's WWE Wack Ass PPV Wrap-up, GOODNIGHT!