What's up everybody! Just a quick message. We will be relaunching with the goal of keeping the community front and center. I have worked with Jamal and select moderators, to make sure The Illl Community's needs are being addressed as we evolve. We are encouraging you to use the new platform.

We will NOT be closing the current community, but we will be porting user data over to the new system over time, so please get used to using the new community!

We will be working on it every single day until it's exactly what you want!

Please feel free to join now, test, as we are in beta:

banginscrew901 ✭✭✭✭✭


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  • Re: We got kids- Powder room version

  • Re: We got kids- Powder room version


  • Re: We got kids- Powder room version


    Found a pumpkin patch and hay patch and had to use my camera to do a photoshoot
  • Re: Paternity leave...Let's talk about it.

    mryounggun wrote: »
    The amount of time niggas saying they take off ain't a significant enough time to really make a life-shaping difference in a child's life. And even if it was, these same niggas chose to go back to work for one reason and one reason alone...not because their share of the duties has been fulfilled, or the mother had adjusted to whatever situation she in.. NO, simply bc they wasn't gettin' paid no more.

    I have a 6yr old son and a son on the way. I would never, as a man, allow anyone to cover my responsibility to my child. My primary responsibility as a man is to provide, not to nurture, and the fact that most niggas will go back to work once paid time runs out leads me to believe that those niggas agree. Because aint no way in four hells you gon tell me that after 10 or so days off, your newborn baby is any better off with or without you on day 11, but you gon take your ass to work because the bills is due.

    I can only speak for myself and I didn't mention anything about making a life-shaping difference. Like I said in my post, my main reason for taking time off was to help the transition from not having a small mammal that literally depends on you for every single having a small mammal that depends on you for every single thing. As far as bonding, some of my best memories as a father are from 3am, me and my kid on the couch, a bottle in his mouth and NBA highlights on the TV. shit was paid. Can't speak for anyone else. Matter fact, I actually coulda took WAY more paid time off than I did.

    And I get that...please dont make it seem like I dont. My job said I have 51 days of PAID leave, but can take up to 12weeks.

    What I'm saying is if we aint talking bout UNPAID time away from work, then you not doin this for the baby (even tho u prob never admit it). All that shit you just said you do I DO AND STILL GO TO WORK..not saying I'm better than anyone else just proves my point. Aint no difference (with the baby, mentally/developmentally) from day 10 to day 11, or day 14 to day 15...

    The only difference is niggas aint gettin paid...or they bored out they fuckin mind
    So miss me with all that 'independent woman' shit

    Mine was unpaid and I wouldn't trade it in for a damn thing. Did 2 and a had months on both of em and like blackrain I enjoyed it cause them moments will never happen again. Staying up late at night she been up and you tired she look and smile at you she just melt my heart and was all worth them late nights. And we do have a bond her mom loves that about us.

    Did your wife/BM go to work during those 2.5 months?
    If yes, then you have effectively displayed my point about feminization...

    Nah she stayed off for 5 months
  • Re: Paternity leave...Let's talk about it.

    At my job you can take off via fmla , but you don't get paid. but soon as I found out we were expecting I immediately start putting money to the side to last me s couple months without having to touch savings. And was able to take 2 1/2 months off. Did it for my 1st born and for my 2nd. That shit was awesome the bonding the waking up and the restless nights not so much
    HafBaykedMsSouthernTrollio Valentinez A. Kaiserblackrain