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Raw-Material versus love yal

raw-material_ahh
raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
edited March 2011 in Lyrical Executions
RULES:
16 lines.
Explained votes.
5 votes to win or 3-0 KO.
50 posts to vote.

Do you want to come up with a verse due date? Due by midnight tomorrow night eastern time? It's whatever.
«1

Comments

  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    alright due by tomorrow midnight....
    Check in..
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Thanks for making the thread and the battle, Good luck... dropping soon...
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    What verse you dropping is probly bird drop
    You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two
    This is not Cavaliers vs Nets, still win what rhymes with jets, still schooling you
    Didn't have time to drop my best verse, but still give you a free knock out like Kumo
    You couldn't come with better lines, even if they name you poetry
    You try your best to be Alice Walker, I smash you like Wordworth history
    Audi vs Bmw what you going to do if got prosocial antisocial behavior, love skool
    Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group
    You too focus as ethnocentrism how you individuating style as racial groups
    Street figher vs. Killer Instinct equals Mortal Kombat 10 densensitization into pieces of two
    Hummer 2012 rims spinning throw you around like 🤬 rag , get seizures epilepsy
    Waiting for your verse, it stinks worst than a skunk hiding behind a bush
    Dell vs Accer you think you too machine how you try to hack through computers
    No surveillance you are too love with your blues, spaced review, cognitive imagery
    Wish I took time to write, Raw-material, winning like Lakers last year, I wasn't too responsibilty..
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    Yo. I will drop tonight before the deadline. Just getting online to say I'm a little busy, something's come up, but I should be able to get it down before midnight.
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    My words are weapons but more precise with laser sight to "end" him with the "dot", "period"/
    NO 🤬 but this is the result of him "going to Got Beef to get beat," I'm straight and he got curious/~2
    Instead ima "end his life" and spit on his computer since he stepped in my house, Lyrical Executions/
    Stay freestyling in the poetry forum, "🤬 with babies" tryin ta mess with cupid/~4
    I'd rather be in my livingroom watching TV, flipping through channels/
    But I'm stuck in here "lighting you up" with these "lines" like this is two candles/~6
    Im a text 🤬 with an electrical aura that attracts NOISE, put the hands on you and "shock you to death"/
    Cuz I'm stimulating his Nervous System and robbed his crystal stock like I'm "🤬 "/~8
    You get rocked on the set! I'm putting a show on for my people cuz I love y'all but I hate you/
    This excites me! I get "ahead of the beat battling you" when my punches push your heart straight through/~10
    This dude is confused, your tournament verse didn't make sense so ima beast on him/
    Cuz when you battled tupacfan, you-got-laughed at tryna "beat" a chic/~12
    I've seen so many misses, strike one against her but two with me cuz I'm in the ZONE/
    Catch from a canon cuz I'm "throwing heat at this guy" like Zeus striking his home/~14
    Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
    This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat the compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    wow that raw material verse was wack.i expected a lot more but if i was voting i would give him the easy win but im not voting
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    wow that raw material verse was wack.i expected a lot more but if i was voting i would give him the easy win but im not voting

    You are losing it man.
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    You are losing it man.

    no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
    you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
    you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted

    The last person I've seen on tilt as bad as you is "its over: 2012!" but that is fine. If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks.
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    The last person I've seen on tilt as bad as you is "its over: 2012!" but that is fine. If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks.

    im not on tilt your verse was wack you will see after people judge.im serious i expected more i like the three-headed guardian line though and the shock you to death line was ok but spit on his computer? really?*blinks eyes twice*
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    im not on tilt your verse was wack you will see after people judge.im serious i expected more i like the three-headed guardian line though and the shock you to death line was ok but spit on his computer? really?*blinks eyes twice*

    When I said you were on tilt, I didn't mean BC you think my verse was wack. Did you read the part where I said, "If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks."? Anyway, that's fine if you think so. Again, that is your criticism. I welcome criticism. It's all good. Whatever happens happens.
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    When I said you were on tilt, I didn't mean BC you think my verse was wack. Did you read the part where I said, "If you don't like my verse, that's your criticism and I accept it. Thanks."? Anyway, that's fine if you think so. Again, that is your criticism. I welcome criticism. It's all good. Whatever happens happens.

    well your welcome and you take criticism very well
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    actually love yal may win he or she has a few hot lines im interested how this may turn out
  • raw-material_ahh
    raw-material_ahh Members Posts: 555
    edited January 2011
    My words are weapons but more precise with laser sight to "end" him with the "dot", "period"/
    NO 🤬 but this is the result of him "going to Got Beef to get beat," I'm straight and he got curious/~2
    Instead ima "end his life" and spit on his computer since he stepped in my house, Lyrical Executions/
    Stay freestyling in the poetry forum, "🤬 with babies" tryin ta mess with cupid/~4
    I'd rather be in my livingroom watching TV, flipping through channels/
    But I'm stuck in here "lighting you up" with these "lines" like this is two candles/~6
    Im a text 🤬 with an electrical aura that attracts NOISE, put the hands on you and "shock you to death"/
    Cuz I'm stimulating his Nervous System and robbed his crystal stock like I'm "🤬 "/~8
    You get rocked on the set! I'm putting a show on for my people cuz I love y'all but I hate you/
    This excites me! I get "ahead of the beat battling you" when my punches push your heart straight through/~10
    This dude is confused, your tournament verse didn't make sense so ima beast on him/
    Cuz when you battled tupacfan, you-got-laughed at tryna "beat" a chic/~12
    I've seen so many misses, strike one against her but two with me cuz I'm in the ZONE/
    Catch from a canon cuz I'm "throwing heat at this guy" like Zeus striking his home/~14
    Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
    This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat the compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16

    I didn't want to edit my verse since both verses are already posted but I've noticed a typo so I'll quote myself instead.
    MINOR EDIT.

    Recognize you're battling a top dawg, 3-headed Hellbound guardian of LE, I only let the hotness through/
    This runt's punches don't blast and "can't find the heat to compete" like he was kicked out of Firefighter School/~16
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Nice verse, Good match..
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Thanks for some of the comments, what's wrong with my engish?
    no im not. im sure alot of people will agree your verse was weak.firefighter school? lmao
    you was lucky love yal cant speak english well or you would of been roasted
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Thanks for the comments...no offense I'm keep working on my english...get better on future battles..
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    love yal wrote: »
    Thanks for the comments...no offense I'm keep working on my english...get better on future battles..

    its just obvious english isnt your first language:You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two

    i think you wanted to say you softer than two marshmellow men

    :Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group-this is line a very strong line i know what you mean it just will sounds strange to a person who speaks american english
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    I had trouble last night geting online, I need to correct a word calvier to cavalier, I did it couple of hours ago, I know its past due date. are we aloud to correct our verses before the voting? Sorry I'm not trying to cheat.
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    I see what you mean, I'm kind new in battling, but I'm willing to learn more, thanks if my english is the not best, but I try not to rush plus I had online problems, so I key verse early fast as I can, and didn't mean to edit a word today, I know its due date. Both verses are interesting..are you voting?
    its just obvious english isnt your first language:You say you hard, you softer then Marshmellow man of two

    i think you wanted to say you softer than two marshmellow men

    :Fired from his rap, social exchange couldn't come raw, If I wrote his matrieal like prejudice group-this is line a very strong line i know what you mean it just will sounds strange to a person who speaks american english
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited January 2011
    Okay, I thought this battle was interesting..

    I felt like love yal had a subliminal diss for me too.. Where he mentioned poetry. Cause I know I'm the only folk in here that writes, read, and perfom spoken word.. Its all good though, I just wanted to point that out before I cast my vote..

    I honestly didn't understand or grasped love yal's verse.. I feel you need more structure in terms of conveying the diss, stick to one metaphor and ride that out.. You's all over the place.. I'm sorry but I'm being honest and likely blaunt with it.. You do have the potential to improve though, you really do.. U have the vocabs, you just need to play with it and make sense of it.. also, you need to go extra harder, cause your verse is lightweight... Take this as constructive feedback.. And much props for stepping in the battle zone with raw..



    With that said my vote is for Raw AHH Material..

    Why?

    Because his verse was far wayyy more understandable, and he had punches, I didn't really see any multi's but his jawn still hit hard.. I wish could quote some verse but uhhh I'm on my smart phone..
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Thanks for reading and voting, a harder punchline is. I'm cool like frozen ice my bars will freeze you ice cube freezer...how's that, I'm trying to forget about rhyming and just go with the flow like you said like you said stick with one metaphor..
    tupacfan wrote: »
    Okay, I thought this battle was interesting..

    I felt like love yal had a subliminal diss for me too.. Where he mentioned poetry. Cause I know I'm the only folk in here that writes, read, and perfom spoken word.. Its all good though, I just wanted to point that out before I cast my vote..

    I honestly didn't understand or grasped love yal's verse.. I feel you need more structure in terms of conveying the diss, stick to one metaphor and ride that out.. You's all over the place.. I'm sorry but I'm being honest and likely blaunt with it.. You do have the potential to improve though, you really do.. U have the vocabs, you just need to play with it and make sense of it.. also, you need to go extra harder, cause your verse is lightweight... Take this as constructive feedback.. And much props for stepping in the battle zone with raw..



    With that said my vote is for Raw AHH Material..

    Why?

    Because his verse was far wayyy more understandable, and he had punches, I didn't really see any multi's but his jawn still hit hard.. I wish could quote some verse but uhhh I'm on my smart phone..
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    Thanks for voting, Raw did good...you notice I don't curse, not trying to be wack..I'm trying to rap politely so I can sound nice and clean. But so when diss him should I talk about myself like I'm the best, you can't get nice, I'm just better than you...like that...I'm tried to diss him, I guess throw him some jokes, what type of lines will grab people attention?
    Young-Ice wrote: »
    raw u went soft on him
    coulda played off his name more

    none the less u did take this easily
    you're multis' punches structure metas similes

    basically every category, u outshined his ass

    love yall u needa work on better structure, longer multis, and better insults.
    u didnt really insult him that bad

    vote to raw
  • love yal
    love yal Members Posts: 1,327
    edited January 2011
    I'm not trying to pick on you again, what do you mean he or she?
    actually love yal may win he or she has a few hot lines im interested how this may turn out
  • thedesolateone
    thedesolateone Members Posts: 4,526 ✭✭✭✭
    edited January 2011
    love yal wrote: »
    I'm not trying to pick on you again, what do you mean he or she?

    just not sure of your gender are you a he or she or other.i assume you are 🤬 christian male but this is the internet so i could be wrong
This discussion has been closed.