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Ladies: I respect your insight. Tell me -- what kind of woman am i dealing with here?

American.Loo
American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
edited April 2011 in The Powder Room
You all know i'm trying to walk the straight and narrow after years of basically doing wrong by females.

So sunday night the girl I was dating (i was faithful) got upset because I lied about something small (basically i was suppossed to be quitting cigs, snuck n had one) dumb lie i know.

monday she texts me and says we cant date anymore. i was mad, but let it go.

tuesday she texts me like "Hey Loo" i didnt respond.

and hour later she texts me like "i can see that you dont want to communicate with me so i'll leave you alone"

i finally text her back like "whats up"

THE NEXT DAY she texts me back like "nevermind. i found it."

i feel as though she may be one for unnecessary drama. but what say you, ladies.
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Comments

  • Elzo69Renaissance
    Elzo69Renaissance Never selling dreams, always serving cream SeattleMembers Posts: 50,708 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    run brother run
  • kat2180
    kat2180 Members Posts: 12,056 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    🤬 her...she seems like she's high maintenance/drama already.

    How long have yall been exclusive?
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    kat2180 wrote: »
    🤬 her...she seems like she's high maintenance/drama already.

    How long have yall been exclusive?

    we've been talking since late feb...

    i mean, she seems well-meaning and adores my son, but when she said "i dont think we should date anymore" over that BS, i was mad but pushed her outta my mind.

    then like, two days later to hit me up talmbout "hey" its like, you playing mind games.
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    run brother run

    youve dealt with a similiar situation before?

    if so, explain
  • kat2180
    kat2180 Members Posts: 12,056 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    we've been talking since late feb...

    i mean, she seems well-meaning and adores my son, but when she said "i dont think we should date anymore" over that BS, i was mad but pushed her outta my mind.

    then like, two days later to hit me up talmbout "hey" its like, you playing mind games.

    She IS playing a game. Itd called the "show me how bad you want me" game. You basically convince her how bad you 🤬 up and plead for her to keep seeing you. Over a cigarette? Drama.
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Bunny Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited April 2011
    well she obviously has issues with smoking and lying

    you broke her trust

    seems a little petty to me but congrats on being faithful ... you should mos def try that in future relationships
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Bunny Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited April 2011
    I agree with Kat... it is a game But everyone plays some kind of game in relationships. I know folks won't agree but IMO it's true


    Do you think because of your past ways you are a little parinoid about stuff ?


    Just curious ........
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    kat2180 wrote: »
    She IS playing a game. Itd called the "show me how bad you want me" game. You basically convince her how bad you 🤬 up and plead for her to keep seeing you. Over a cigarette? Drama.

    yeah, that what it seems like actually.
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    I agree with Kat... it is a game But everyone plays some kind of game in relationships. I know folks won't agree but IMO it's true


    Do you think because of your past ways you are a little parinoid about stuff ?


    Just curious ........

    Yeah i am very paranoid about stuff because i know how easy it is to cheat once a person invests their feelings.

    but i figured i'd take the chance, and bit by bit, i was beginning to relax.

    i dont like the mind games though, and i feel like this: people make mistakes, if you can easily say "lets end this" over a cig, that leaves me feeling like i've got to walk on eggshells. not a good situation.
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Bunny Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    edited April 2011
    I think you should keep it moving

    find someone who is on the same level/page as you

    Try not to let your past ways get the best of you.... you honestly seem like a good guy to me
  • Elzo69Renaissance
    Elzo69Renaissance Never selling dreams, always serving cream SeattleMembers Posts: 50,708 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    youve dealt with a similiar situation before?

    if so, explain
    Yea make a long story short, the woman is unstable and unable to control her emotions. U no the type to enjoy drama........ BOunce if u dont want a headache on a regular basis.
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    Yea make a long story short, the woman is unstable and unable to control her emotions. U no the type to enjoy drama........ BOunce if u dont want a headache on a regular basis.

    yeah youre right. basically you're saying she is the type to make rash decisions off her emotions AT THE MOMENT.

    then later, if she feels the total opposite way, she'll come around and try to patch things up.

    til the next time her emotions lead her in the opposite direction. yeah, dated a chick like that already, its frustrating and there's really no peace.
  • Elzo69Renaissance
    Elzo69Renaissance Never selling dreams, always serving cream SeattleMembers Posts: 50,708 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    yeah youre right. basically you're saying she is the type to make rash decisions off her emotions AT THE MOMENT.

    then later, if she feels the total opposite way, she'll come around and try to patch things up.

    til the next time her emotions lead her in the opposite direction. yeah, dated a chick like that already, its frustrating and there's really no peace.

    Exactly i once dated a girl who got mad cuz i laughed at a joke about her in the car, ased to be dropped off. Then is at my crib before I get home talking bout she sorry. I should have saw the signs./......
  • kat2180
    kat2180 Members Posts: 12,056 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    I agree with Kat... it is a game But everyone plays some kind of game in relationships. I know folks won't agree but IMO it's true


    Do you think because of your past ways you are a little parinoid about stuff ?


    Just curious ........

    I agree with you and I think certain games can even help a relationship, but she's playing the wrong kind.
  • mr.getwitcha
    mr.getwitcha Members Posts: 2,459 ✭✭
    edited April 2011
    kat2180 wrote: »
    I agree with you and I think certain games can even help a relationship, but she's playing the wrong kind.


    Great post!!!


    Getwitcha
  • kat2180
    kat2180 Members Posts: 12,056 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    Great post!!!


    Getwitcha

    lol..where the hell you been?
  • mr.getwitcha
    mr.getwitcha Members Posts: 2,459 ✭✭
    edited April 2011
    kat2180 wrote: »
    lol..where the hell you been?

    Lurking...lol...

    Whats up with you?


    Getwitcha
  • Super Lex
    Super Lex Members Posts: 460
    edited April 2011
    kat2180 wrote: »
    She IS playing a game. Itd called the "show me how bad you want me" game. You basically convince her how bad you 🤬 up and plead for her to keep seeing you. Over a cigarette? Drama.

    And there it is. So obvious.

    She wants you to fight for her. If you don't then how much do you really want her? If I got broken up with over a cig I probably wouldn't ask any questions either to be honest. Its just a game.
  • b@squ1@t redux
    [email protected]@t redux i can tell by your mustache youve never been involved in street activities iguana blood poseidon DNA slangin zeus dickMembers Posts: 13,035 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    🤬 aint 🤬
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 8,496 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    she's seeing where your head is and once she finds out from there she'll play her game .....
  • Conscious__Nkechi
    Conscious__Nkechi Members Posts: 6,110 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    Sunday-Monday

    She's upset you lied (which is understandable), doesn't want to tolerate it therefore cuts you off.

    Tuesday

    She questions her move and whether it was the right one, she rationalizes it and is confused about her own decision making. She attempts to reach out in hopes of forgetting last night to see if you like her as much as she thinks you do.

    Wednesday

    You took to long to respond, she again changes her mind trying to play it off as if all she wanted was something she "supposedly" forgot by your house.

    Sounds like she is playing a game of confusion.
    On one hand she may be firm in not tolerating any kind of lie but on the other she isn't sure if what happened is reason enough to let you go.
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited April 2011
    A fit over ciggs sounds a bit to dramatic, if you feel like you can't deal with someone who constantly nags you, or dislikes you for some of the things you do and can't compromise on anything, it might be best to just let it go and move forward. Easy to say than do, and if you plan on sticking around a while longer, you may want to communicate to her about some of your flaws that she may not find attracted too and compromise on that.. it may be time to chuck the deuce.
  • American.Loo
    American.Loo Members Posts: 4,082 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    Sunday-Monday

    She's upset you lied (which is understandable), doesn't want to tolerate it therefore cuts you off.

    Tuesday

    She questions her move and whether it was the right one, she rationalizes it and is confused about her own decision making. She attempts to reach out in hopes of forgetting last night to see if you like her as much as she thinks you do.

    Wednesday

    You took to long to respond, she again changes her mind trying to play it off as if all she wanted was something she "supposedly" forgot by your house.

    Sounds like she is playing a game of confusion.
    On one hand she may be firm in not tolerating any kind of lie but on the other she isn't sure if what happened is reason enough to let you go.

    this makes alot of sense too.

    what do you think the wise move would be, on my part.
  • Trollio
    Trollio Trollololololololololol Members Posts: 25,815 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    that 🤬 shady and playin high school games
  • Conscious__Nkechi
    Conscious__Nkechi Members Posts: 6,110 ✭✭✭
    edited April 2011
    this makes alot of sense too.

    what do you think the wise move would be, on my part.

    It seems that while she was firm in not allowing anyone to lie to her she had trouble putting her foot down because of what you two may have already built. She reacted with reason most likely not taking anything into consideration but her reason for being upset. The "ball" is basically in your court and she probably knows this. She handed it over when she "cut you off" but later decided to get back in touch with you. Now she is actually the one not being honest, especially not with herself and I can understand why she tried to play it off although I don't agree with it. This could have been her chance to be real and forward with you.
    I am not buying that she "found it", sounds like a typical move and the only thing she sounds like she lost is her sense of direction in the situation. Seems that she was stuck between her principles (definite ones in regards to all lies) and her feelings for you.
    I think you did the right thing by not even entertaining her first text. I would have reacted the same way. You can't play with a persons emotions like that.

    According to what you have said was your last contact with her, leave it as is. She is "supposedly" through with you and anything else would make it appear that you are a team player.

    Everyone here has told you to dead her. Now, me being the type of person to cut a man off quick for silly games, I can feel that. It is not to much to ask for a person not to play games, whether that was the intended purpose or not. I for one don't tolerate it. I'm not entirely convinced that she actually set out to play with you, but that is what it has turned out to be. Unnecessary and juvenile. When problems like this arise so early, often times they are an indication of what could be to come. I can't say this as a definite fact as the smallest of things when handled appropriately in the beginning can actually be reason enough for someone to alter the way they view something. Not change, but deal with something better. This is often a rarity. It isn't your job to program anyone to be who you need and want them to be.
    However I will take your feelings into consideration and make this a realistic situation. Regardless of what any of us say, if she were to be honest with you about her feelings, how would you then react? Would you be through with her or give her a second chance? She might not get it but she made your bad hers as well. That is no excuse for the lie you told but it doesn't take away from how poorly she has handled the situation.

    Unfortunately some of us don't make the greatest decisions for ourselves with the pressure on. It takes time to digest the situation, reflect on our reaction to it and ultimately then we better see ourselves and the matter entirely. I for one am not up for the challenge to direct and teach one how to act, but I also am not you, her and don't know how long you've been together and the fabric of what you two have built.

    I will say that if you do decide this is the end and you do speak to her again, put her onto where she messed up without taking away or making excuses for what she was upset with you for. She can take it or leave it.