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IV

Azekiel-Horizon
Azekiel-Horizon Members Posts: 12
edited June 2011 in Waiting To Exhale
At a lounge bar, on the corner of 21st street.
I sit in a dim lit nook, with my face planted on a wobbly mahogany table.
Buried in a bottle of vodka.
As a jazz singer, with a voice husky in emotion.
Tenderly delivers my eulogy.
Through a highball glass, I see her distorted image
So abnormally beautiful.
I can't wipe away the blemish of her from the crystal brain.
that is holding my pain,
at which she is using to entertain the crowd with.
By singing the blues.
On a stage inflame with an amber color spotlight.
Everyone in the audience loves her, except me.
I despise her. For she is keeping me from my lies, by opening my eyes.
With those raspy high notes that totes me around in her song's pocket.
Unable to keep droplets of teary comets, from falling out of my eye socket.
I just let her rain on me.
As she began to scream a storm of No's
I realize,she is lightening in a bottle.
When she shouted out that last No.
finally I understood what she was saying and decided to walk home instead of drive.

Comments

  • stupot0607
    stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    Thats an amazing poem Azekeil, a great descriptive piece, give me a perfect image in my head.

    Thanks.
  • RuffDraft
    RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    Great drop, props. My favourite lines:

    On a stage inflame with an amber color spotlight.
    Everyone in the audience loves her, except me.
    I despise her. For she is keeping me from my lies, by opening my eyes.
    With those raspy high notes that totes me around in her song's pocket.
    Unable to keep droplets of teary comets, from falling out of my eye socket.

    That was on another level to me... everything else was setting the scene, but the poem came alive so much because of the description beforehand and because of how you tailored this perfectly... I always like contradictions in poems.... so I like the 'except me,' and the fact that you 'despise her,' after all, we all wallow in our own self-pity from time to time even when we have a lot more to be thankful for. I love the way you describe the tears as comets and how they can fall from your eye socket... really nice piece. Props on the drop and keep sharing :tu
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited June 2011
    thanks for sharing this vivid piece with us...

    preciate that..

    peace.