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Sirens

stupot0607
stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
edited July 2011 in Waiting To Exhale
Sirens

For the last 5 mornings I have been awakened by the sound of sirens,
This alarming noise forcing me to turn over in my bed,
And in that precise moment my mind glanced to the road ahead,
I rubbed my eyes gently, only to see a wall of blue,
I looked down at my feet to notice that I’m wearing running shoes,
Shortly after my fear struck me, I shiver & I start to run fast,
I glance over my shoulder as I run this predictable path,
Some people call it destiny, I call it unlucky,
I just think it’s a farce and I cant tell it apart,
My legs are weak support for my heavy heart,
My knees buckle under pressure from my peers,
And then I hear the sirens getting gradually near,
My major decision still looms above me,
I crave a career path and a future touch of a lover,
It surrounds me like pollen does in summer,
But the memory of me in July seems distant,
And the chance of me recapturing my youth now seems nonexistent,
But 🤬 it I’m gifted, and I’m different,
But these sirens keep waking me up,
And Its decision time, so don’t try to mess it up,
I Start my day and refuse to think about it,
At the end of the day I haven’t consulted it,
I started then questioning my independence,
Because nobody got rich without transcendence,
This is the chance to finally gain my acceptance,
And I still haven’t made any decisions,
But until then I remain exhausted,
So I climb into my sheets,
I go to sleep to the sound of these sirens,


Stupot0607


Basically i wrote parts of this when i was away last week, and its a true piece. I did actually wake up to sirens every morning, i just thought it would be good to flip it on why i was hearing the sirens. like maybe there was a deeper meaning to me waking up to sirens and what that could mean. And if you didnt get what i meant by the poem is that the sirens in my head are like alarm bells for me to be doing something with my life. because im at a crossroads right now personally, and im trying to deal with it.

Anyways i hope you enjoyed it and thanks for taking the time to read it.

Comments

  • Azekiel-Horizon
    Azekiel-Horizon Members Posts: 12
    edited June 2011
    First off this was a deep poem you did a good job explaining the deeper meaning behind the sirens. I feel as if you were saying that were like a wake up call or something. Also you displayed nice imagery through this poem for example these lines were vivid and deep :

    I rubbed my eyes gently, only to see a wall of blue,
    I looked down at my feet to notice that I’m wearing running shoes,
    Shortly after my fear struck me, I shiver & I start to run fast,
    I glance over my shoulder as I run this predictable path,
    Some people call it destiny, I call it unlucky,

    This was a great deep piece keep dropping poetic gems like this one
  • stupot0607
    stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    First off this was a deep poem you did a good job explaining the deeper meaning behind the sirens. I feel as if you were saying that were like a wake up call or something. Also you displayed nice imagery through this poem for example these lines were vivid and deep :

    I rubbed my eyes gently, only to see a wall of blue,
    I looked down at my feet to notice that I’m wearing running shoes,
    Shortly after my fear struck me, I shiver & I start to run fast,
    I glance over my shoulder as I run this predictable path,
    Some people call it destiny, I call it unlucky,

    This was a great deep piece keep dropping poetic gems like this one


    Props for the Feedback Azekiel, Glad you enjoyed it man.
  • RuffDraft
    RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    Mad props Stupot, enjoyed this piece, again another gem :tu

    Definitely nice throughout and like Azekiel says, the imagery was very vivid in my mind when I was reading and I caught onto the concept real early 'cos I know you from other parts of the board... The Essence, *cough*

    I thought that was slick what you did there, you created a pace throughout your day that's hard to erase until night time when the loud sirens go off and remove you from the busy life to the correspondence of your pillow. Slick, slick, poem. Basically because it's an alarming day to an alarming night... the panic was present throughout... and something that you played with in terms of running shoes etc.

    You should keep writing, there's never a better time to write than when you're trying to sort out your next route in life. Keep writing and droppin' 'em!
  • stupot0607
    stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    RuffDraft wrote: »
    Mad props Stupot, enjoyed this piece, again another gem :tu

    Definitely nice throughout and like Azekiel says, the imagery was very vivid in my mind when I was reading and I caught onto the concept real early 'cos I know you from other parts of the board... The Essence, *cough*

    I thought that was slick what you did there, you created a pace throughout your day that's hard to erase until night time when the loud sirens go off and remove you from the busy life to the correspondence of your pillow. Slick, slick, poem. Basically because it's an alarming day to an alarming night... the panic was present throughout... and something that you played with in terms of running shoes etc.

    You should keep writing, there's never a better time to write than when you're trying to sort out your next route in life. Keep writing and droppin' 'em!

    Thanks Draft, Much appreciated as usual.

    Haha nice subliminal IC messaging **Cough** The Essence. I Wrote this poem pretty fast actually, i had a basis which i saved as a draft text message on my phone. thew it on my pc and played around. but it took like 45 minutes to peice to together. I knew i had to end it on going to sleep and still hearing sirens, make it like a 360 poem. i did try to set the scene and tone for this aswell, so im glad you noticed.

    i kept thinking of Ghostface & Jada's Run instrumental when i started writing and it drove me mad (Classic song though) haha

    Infact im gonna post it
  • RuffDraft
    RuffDraft Members, Writer Posts: 4,753 ✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2011
    stupot0607 wrote: »
    Thanks Draft, Much appreciated as usual.

    Haha nice subliminal IC messaging **Cough** The Essence. I Wrote this poem pretty fast actually, i had a basis which i saved as a draft text message on my phone. thew it on my pc and played around. but it took like 45 minutes to peice to together. I knew i had to end it on going to sleep and still hearing sirens, make it like a 360 poem. i did try to set the scene and tone for this aswell, so im glad you noticed.

    i kept thinking of Ghostface & Jada's Run instrumental when i started writing and it drove me mad (Classic song though) haha

    Infact im gonna post it

    haha that is a good instrumental, definitely something that could inspire such a piece and most def a classic beat/track. This was after the Pretty Toney Album though right? I thought that album was incredible. Big fan of Ghost's flow.

    Nice, you should definitely keep runnin' with it, definitely went through your phase of wanting to read more poetry, in fact I have some books with love poems on my iPad, but they went over my head or were overly pathetically loved up. I prefer I.C. poems that are more real.

    Good concept though and definitely keep writing!!
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited July 2011
    man, ya'll making me proud :)

    Good to see poets around here dropping some gems..

    you painted an image with your words in this jawn.. i loved that!

    every line hit.. I wish I could quote a few, but im mobile..

    props on this piece..
  • stupot0607
    stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2011
    tupacfan wrote: »
    man, ya'll making me proud :)

    Good to see poets around here dropping some gems..

    you painted an image with your words in this jawn.. i loved that!

    every line hit.. I wish I could quote a few, but im mobile..

    props on this piece..

    Thanks for the comment Tupacfan..

    I Agree there have been some amazing poems over the last couple of months!
  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited July 2011
    stupot0607 wrote: »
    Thanks for the comment Tupacfan..

    I Agree there have been some amazing poems over the last couple of months!

    Yea no doubt..

    I know, i've seen that.. i try and read and give feedback when i get the opportunity to post here..

    Keep on writing and sharing with us, cause someone out there like mi, is reading them :)

    Peace.
  • Manik Sona
    Manik Sona Members Posts: 350
    edited July 2011
    Your writing is the 🤬 . I can relate. Read it a couple times. Keep it up.
  • stupot0607
    stupot0607 Members Posts: 1,914 ✭✭✭
    edited July 2011
    Manik Sona wrote: »
    Your writing is the 🤬 . I can relate. Read it a couple times. Keep it up.

    Thanks for the feedback!