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Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

TX_Made713
TX_Made713 Members Posts: 3,954 ✭✭
edited May 2010 in R & R (Religion and Race)
Why you should become a member:


The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, while having existed in secrecy for hundreds of years, only recently came into the mainstream when this letter was published in May 2005.


With millions, if not thousands, of devout worshippers, the Church of the FSM is widely considered a legitimate religion, even by its opponents – mostly fundamentalist Christians, who have accepted that our 🤬 has larger 🤬 than theirs.


Some claim that the church is purely a thought experiment, satire, illustrating that Intelligent Design is not science, but rather a pseudoscience manufactured by Christians to push Creationism into public schools. These people are mistaken. The Church of FSM is real, totally legit, and backed by hard science. Anything that comes across as humor or satire is purely coincidental.

societyFSM.jpg


http://www.venganza.org/


Last-Supper.jpg

Just as valid a religion as the rest of em

"The gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster"

The_Gospel_of_the_Flying_Spaghetti_Monster.jpg

Comments

  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    I have that gospel too.
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited May 2010
    I find "Olde Charlie Farquharson's Testament" a lot more amusing than the spaghetti monster book:

    The first six day:

    At the start there wasn't a thing. That'd be yer Void.
    2 Dark too. Absoloot kayoss. So 🤬 decided to do something about it. 3 He sed, Let's have some Light here. And there was. Right off. But there still weren't nothing to look at. 4 He kept yer Dark too. Now He had two things going fer Him. Night and Day. 5 He had the one foller the other so's He could keep track. That was all in one day's work.

    6 The second day 🤬 sed, We need some kind of Firmermint in the middle of all this water.(Don't ask we where the water came frum in the first place.) But the Firmermint would shore up some of the water from the rest of the water. 7 So 🤬 did it. 8 The Firmermint part He called Hevven. That was quite enough fer the second day.

    9 But there was still all that loose water. So He gathered most of what was under Hevven and called them the Seeze. 10 So far, not a thing to stand on. 🤬 thot, what on erth will I do? That He let yer dry land come up. And he Sed, That's good. 11 Then 🤬 sed, Let's get organized here. 12 Erth brot up grass, grass brot up herb, herb brought up seed, seed brung up trees, trees brung froot. That was good. 13 So far, three days.

    14 Then 🤬 sed, We need lights at night too. So He made the Moon fer a nitelite. 🤬 figgered that to go fer years. 15 He put some side-lites in too, not so much to lite things up but to give them a bit of a glow. 16 That'd be yer Stars. 17 The Moon and Stars worked nights and the Sun was put on the day-shift. 18 🤬 thot that set-up should work out all right. 19 That was yer fourth day. And nite by that time.

    20 🤬 sed, Look here, there's nothin' doing in the water. Better stir thing up a bit, 🤬 some creechers moving. Air's kind of empty too. Might as well fowl it up. 21 And He dun a whale of a job down to yer smallest minny. 22 Then they was all told to 🤬 at it being footful and multyplying. 23 That day'd be yer fifth.

    24 All this time, on erth, nothing doing. All that grass and herb and nothing to pastyer on it. 25 So He called forth cattels, and beests, and other creepy things. Nothing bad about that. 26 Then 🤬 took a aweful chance. He sed, Somebuddy has got to soopervise all them dumb minions of Mine, on erth, under water, and even pretty well up in the air too.(Sept the Angels, and don't ask me where they all of the sudden come frum.) 27 So 🤬 thot up somebuddy to look jist like Him. 28 He called this fella, Man, and told him the same thing about being frootful and multyplying, even tho' so far there was only one of him. 29 And 🤬 sed to Man, The place is yours. 30 Take care of it for Me, and take care of yerself too. 31 And 🤬 thot all that was good. He was tired. He'd bin at it six days.


    But the Ish-male and I-sick part was the funniest, here's my fav part:

    Them Fillasteins could be ruff customers, and Rebekker was still pritty fare to look upon, so like father like son, I-sick dun the same trick with his wife Rebekker, "Keep smiling and tell them yer my sister." Nobuddy minded this fer a time, till King A-bin-a-leg, yer hed Fillastein, saw I-sick fondling what he thot was the fella's own sister. A-bim-a-leg sed, "Now I know why yer called I-sick." When he finely found out I-sick had been fondling his own wife, A-bim-a-leg sed, "What is it with you peeple?"
  • SL8Rok
    SL8Rok Members Posts: 154
    edited May 2010
    Smh...................
  • TX_Made713
    TX_Made713 Members Posts: 3,954 ✭✭
    edited May 2010
    You should all tide to the church fund so they can order more pasta