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George Carlin: Religion is Bullsh*t (Revisiting a Classic)

shootemwon
shootemwon Members Posts: 4,635 ✭✭
edited June 2010 in R & R (Religion and Race)
This is one of the most popular anti-religion bits/rants in history. Most of the more seasoned people around here have seen this one plenty of times, but I see some new faces around here and wanted to bring this one out of the archives just in case anyone isn't familiar. Though it's been talked about many times before, we can still discuss this classic routine, so I now present to you....

George Carlin - Religion is 🤬

"Religion has actually convinced people that there is an invisible man, living in the sky, and this invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these things he has a special place full of burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'till the end of time. BUT HE LOVES YOU. He loves you, and HE NEEDS MONEY.....Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more."

Comments

  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    Its not if that the best 🤬 can do..... it's if that's the best man can do, I'm not impressed. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption..... why can man not fix these things? What is wrong with man that he cannot rise above these things? Have they not a mind correct these things and stop doing them? It is never man's fault for the world he finds himself in. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being true, because they belong on the resume of man.
  • DarcSkies777
    DarcSkies777 Members Posts: 5,600 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    This man was like TRUTH with legs and a heartbeat.
  • shootemwon
    shootemwon Members Posts: 4,635 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    Its not if that the best 🤬 can do..... it's if that's the best man can do, I'm not impressed. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption..... why can man not fix these things? What is wrong with man that he cannot rise above these things? Have they not a mind correct these things and stop doing them? It is never man's fault for the world he finds himself in. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being true, because they belong on the resume of man.

    I think the point is that many religious folk attribute all the great things about life to 🤬 . He's listing the bad and wondering why they attribute everything they like to 🤬 and just kind of brush of the rest (especially since many believe every single event in humanly life was specifically willed by 🤬 ).

    But you're right in that these problems are the work of man, and instead of looking to 🤬 for divine help, we should look within ourselves for solutions.
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    shootemwon wrote: »
    (especially since many believe every single event in humanly life was specifically willed by 🤬 ).

    That I think is a misunderstanding on their part, but that's another topic.
  • shootemwon
    shootemwon Members Posts: 4,635 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    That I think is a misunderstanding on their part, but that's another topic.

    Of course it's a mistake. He's ridiculing them for it.
  • tri3w
    tri3w Members Posts: 3,142 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    Its not if that the best 🤬 can do..... it's if that's the best man can do, I'm not impressed. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption..... why can man not fix these things? What is wrong with man that he cannot rise above these things? Have they not a mind correct these things and stop doing them? It is never man's fault for the world he finds himself in. Results like these do not belong on the resume of a supreme being true, because they belong on the resume of man.

    idk............We been trynna fix that since we First had Civilization
  • ThaChozenWun
    ThaChozenWun Members Posts: 9,390
    edited June 2010
    Props never seen this before.
  • ThaChozenWun
    ThaChozenWun Members Posts: 9,390
    edited June 2010
    tri3w wrote: »
    idk............We been trynna fix that since we First had Civilization

    Really? I think rather than fix it man has become more infatuated with how to obtain and prolong it.
  • Shuffington
    Shuffington Members Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    I like his joke about the afterlife and how people say about a person who dies.. "well so and so is looking down on us".... But when they die where do the original people who where looking down on you go... is their job done? Do they just not do anything anymore?... lol...i thought that was funny
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    tri3w wrote: »
    idk............We been trynna fix that since we First had Civilization

    Can't keep doing the same thing expecting different results.
  • And Step
    And Step Members Posts: 3,726 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    When his wife passed away he was talking about and acknowledging 🤬 . Did he go from Atheist to Agnostic or Deist?
  • ThaChozenWun
    ThaChozenWun Members Posts: 9,390
    edited June 2010
    And Step wrote: »
    When his wife passed away he was talking about and acknowledging 🤬 . Did he go from Atheist to Agnostic or Deist?

    I think he turned Agnostic toward the very end of his life. If you want to know for sure go look at Bill Maher though he tries copying Carlin to the tee.
  • djparamnesia
    djparamnesia Confirm Email Posts: 434
    edited June 2010
    next to bill hicks and dave chappelle, my favourtie comedian ever, r.i.p, truly a great man. nd i love comedians that are just giving you knowledge all through there show.
  • shootemwon
    shootemwon Members Posts: 4,635 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    And Step wrote: »
    When his wife passed away he was talking about and acknowledging 🤬 . Did he go from Atheist to Agnostic or Deist?

    Most of the stuff attributed to Carlin re: the passing of his wife is 🤬 that he didn't say. His wife died in 1997, and within a year he was using variations of the routine I posted above.
  • SL8Rok
    SL8Rok Members Posts: 154
    edited June 2010
    A man who is now eating those words as we speak.
  • Funky Dr
    Funky Dr Banned Users Posts: 2,348 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    SL8Rok wrote: »
    A man who is now eating those words as we speak.

    not really. he's dead... aint eatin 🤬 .
  • SL8Rok
    SL8Rok Members Posts: 154
    edited June 2010
    Funky Dr wrote: »
    not really. he's dead... aint eatin 🤬 .

    Indeed he has died the second death. But hopefully he repented on his death bed.
  • djparamnesia
    djparamnesia Confirm Email Posts: 434
    edited June 2010
    SL8Rok wrote: »
    A man who is now eating those words as we speak.

    thank you for giving me a sign that you are an idiot, i wont waste my time talking to you in the future knowing how stupid you are to believe any religion.
  • usmarin3
    usmarin3 Members Posts: 38,013 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    George Carlin was a great men, we need more people to break out from the outdated and illogical ways of thought. Oh yeah, he didn't need to repent for nothing. The shere fallacies in religion is perplexing, alot of it makes no sense logically, it's the greatest scam ever imo. It's all based on something that cannot be proven!
  • smokelahoma
    smokelahoma Members Posts: 6,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    This man was like TRUTH with legs and a heartbeat.

    oh but he's white so therefore he is automatically evil. gtfoh hypocrite.
  • The True Flesh
    The True Flesh Members Posts: 466 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    Carlin is very clever and insightful to incorporate something so serious in his humor, I thoroughly enjoyed his stand-up.


    A lot of the things he exposes in religion as being "🤬 " are indeed 🤬 because they don't correspond with the Bible or any text that's considered holy for that matter.


    PEACE
  • KTULU IS BACK
    KTULU IS BACK Banned Users Posts: 6,617 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    A lot of the things he exposes in religion as being "🤬 " are indeed 🤬 because they don't correspond with the Bible or any text that's considered holy for that matter.

    The Bible is even more ridiculous than the way Carlin lays it out.



    The Bible actually says that 🤬 will be offended if you don't bury your 🤬 .


    No, really.



    Look:

    Deuteronomy 23
    As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your 🤬 moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.




    Now you can say "Oh, that's the Old Testament!"

    But it's in the Bible. You saying half of the Bible just doesn't count?

    Please.
  • The True Flesh
    The True Flesh Members Posts: 466 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    The Bible is even more ridiculous than the way Carlin lays it out.



    The Bible actually says that 🤬 will be offended if you don't bury your 🤬 .


    No, really.



    Look:

    Deuteronomy 23
    As part of your equipment have something to dig with, and when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your 🤬 moves about in your camp to protect you and to deliver your enemies to you. Your camp must be holy, so that he will not see among you anything indecent and turn away from you.




    Now you can say "Oh, that's the Old Testament!"

    But it's in the Bible. You saying half of the Bible just doesn't count?

    Please.


    You have posted that before and I still don't see what's so rediculous about it there may have been some cooky ancient cultures that thought it was cool to leave your 🤬 on display......This is the Lord telling the people that it is not IDK?

    Very basic instructions on bathroom protocol really do have their place. Why woudn't they?

    PEACE
  • KTULU IS BACK
    KTULU IS BACK Banned Users Posts: 6,617 ✭✭
    edited June 2010
    a supreme being telling people where to 🤬


    sure



    sure