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Freestyle

Ricco12
Ricco12 Members Posts: 2
edited July 2010 in Waiting To Exhale
Hey I'm new to writing music and stuff. This is my first piece about interracial relationships. Please leave constructive criticism so that i can get better.

Do actions speak louder than words
Cuz if they do you'd think I was crazy
But it doesn't matter cuz opinions don't phase me
Emotions leave you vulnerable
Confused so my head spins like a turntable
So I sing songz like I'm ready
Pour out my heart so I can make her my baby
Everybody tellin us what we can't be
But they can't see what I see
Life is like a movie and she has the part
Not in wonderland but she's the queen of my heart
Feelin my heart race tryin not to come in last place
She got an addictive body wish you get a taste
Not Gaye so she give me sexual healing
Ebony and ivory I guess we have mixed feelings


Ricco

Comments

  • Tupacfan
    Tupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited July 2010
    This is decent for a first time writer..

    just add more indepth on the topic and its all good..

    My favorite line "confused somy head spins like a turntable" <~~~ that was nice..

    And actions do speak louder than words, I learned that the hard way smh.