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Assortative Mating and the Conundrum Educated Blacks face

Knives Amilli
Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
edited August 2015 in For The Grown & Sexy
Assortative Mating is defined as a mating pattern and a form of sexual selection in which individuals with similar genotypes and/or phenotypes mate with one another more frequently than would be expected under a random mating pattern.

In regards to human mating in particular? It means you will tend to want to mate with someone who reflects your background, especially in regards to factors such as income, religion, and educational attainment.

In fact, I've witnessed it first hand. I'm a Single Black Man, educated, 20-something living in Louisville who was raised middle class. Dating BLACK WOMEN here isn't the most easiest of tasks given that most of Louisville's Black population is lower income and due to de facto segregation, are largely confined to the West End and Newburg, two of the worst neighborhoods in the area.

The dating scene here motivated me to kind of investigate Black Mating as a whole since Black Mating is one of the MANY factors of Black Life currently in crisis. Whether you attribute it to media sensationalism or not, the facts that Black marriage is the lowest its been and lowest among all races, interracial dating is up and Black men marrying more than Black Women can't be denied.

What isn't surprising about alot of this data is how the modern economy is shaping our mating habits.

But back to assortative mating for a second.

So lets go ahead and mention the elephant in the room: Black Men are behind Black Women in education, in workforce, and 6% of working age black males are incarcerated.

So if say an Educated Black Female (of which there are 4.7 Million off) wants to find an educated Black Male, she is pretty 🤬 as there are only 3.4 million, or 27.6% less educated Black Males than Black Females (and the total Black Female population is only 7.6 percent more).

Finding a mate with the same educational attainment is important because assortative mating data is showing us that the key to escaping poverty is to marry up and marrying someone of lesser educational attainment is marrying down.

With the shifting economy and widening income gap its is imperative that if you posses the tools, skill set, and resources to make it into the upper class, you should readily take advantage of it.

So the onus is mostly on the Black Males to close the education and employment gap between ourselves and Black Females.

Mind you none of the information I posted takes into account the very real problems of systematic racism and its effects on Black Wealth accumulation and Educational Attainment so consider the source(s).

Lastly what I did find interesting about Black Female graduates is that one study finds that 47% of Black Female undergraduates are raising children while in school. For Black Males? 25%.

Meaning that while Black Women are outpacing men in finishing college, ALMOST HALF of them finish college as parents. SO for Educated Black Males, not only do you have to deal with the majority of Black Women not having an education, but for the educated ones, nearly half will have children and the baggage that comes with that.

Any thoughts on all this?
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Comments

  • alliknowishate
    alliknowishate Members Posts: 686 ✭✭✭✭
    🤬 i understand cause im from the ville too. and the west...but 🤬 🤬 . if you cant find a decent woman then maybe something is wrong with you.....damn im talking bout me. 🤬 !
  •   Colin$mackabi$h
    Colin$mackabi$h Smartass Snatch Money ave.Members Posts: 16,586 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Dont we got enough problems today? Stay thirsty my friends.
  • A Talented One
    A Talented One stew Members Posts: 4,202 ✭✭✭
    Good thread.

    Whether you agree with his conclusions or not, or have any other problems with his book, Richard Banks's book on black marriage decline contains a wealth of information on this. T/s, I think you should read it. (However, I think the book paints black men in an unfairly bad light.)

    Although a lot of middle class black women end up marrying down, it is very clear in 2015 that they don't want to. Having a mate "on their level" is important to them.

    Truth be told, I have no problem with that.

    The problem I have is that you could be the most solidly middle class and highly educated black man, but if you don't wear your class status on your sleeves, these women, especially the better looking ones, won't give you the time of day. (I mean as far as meeting them randomly, as opposed to being introduced to them through other people.) They're constantly looking for small clues to a black man's class status, and will often draw inferences about a man's low status based on the filmiest of reasons.
  • LUClEN
    LUClEN Absence makes the heart grow fonder of someone else Members Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭✭
    🤬 i understand cause im from the ville too. and the west...but 🤬 🤬 . if you cant find a decent woman then maybe something is wrong with you.....damn im talking bout me. 🤬 !

    If you thought that this was just an issue of finding a decent woman you aren't grasping the full breadth of those findings
  • Purr
    Purr Evil Chuck Season. Jumpman jumpman Jumpman dat girl up to something!!!Members Posts: 32,382 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This 🤬 is corny
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Purr wrote: »
    This 🤬 is corny

    how so?
  • ghostdog56
    ghostdog56 Members Posts: 2,947 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I live in Louisville and this 🤬 ain't lying their doesn't seem to be a diverse group of black women here
  • alliknowishate
    alliknowishate Members Posts: 686 ✭✭✭✭
    maybe you need to move to the a
  • jono
    jono Right fist = power, left fist = unity Members Posts: 30,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
    maybe you need to move to the a

    He said he wants to marry a woman. Thats unheard of in Atl
  • zzombie
    zzombie Members Posts: 11,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2015
    First of all you should not be seeking a mate based on educational attainment i would rather marry a pretty idiot than marry a rich 🤬 .

    an educated woman is a plus but her having a kid is a negative that cancels out the education
  • DanteJackon
    DanteJackon Members Posts: 62 ✭✭
    Rich 🤬 🤬 dumb 🤬 all the time brah.
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Rich 🤬 🤬 dumb 🤬 all the time brah.

    Recreational sex isn't the same thing as courtship and lifelong mating.
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    zzombie wrote: »
    First of all you should not be seeking a mate based on educational attainment i would rather marry a pretty idiot than marry a rich 🤬 .

    an educated woman is a plus but her having a kid is a negative that cancels out the education

    IN a perfect world, education SHOULDNT matter. But once again the income gap is only getting wider and the need for a partner of equal ability, merit, and earning power is becoming more necessary. Plus while education is important it isn't the only main factor in assortative mating. Once again factors such as income, religious practices, region, ethnic culture as well as racial culture, also come into play as well.

    WHole point of this post is to show how the numbers stack as far as likelihood of Educated African Americans finding a partner who matches up with them in an increasingly important factor in determining income.
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2015
    ghostdog56 wrote: »
    I live in Louisville and this 🤬 ain't lying their doesn't seem to be a diverse group of black women here
    From my experience the only outlet you really have here is to have had a very active social life while on campus at UofL. Uofl of course is going to have the highest concentration of educated Black Women from other communities and from diverse levels of income.

    Not too many of them seem to stay here though after graduation lol.
  • Will Munny
    Will Munny Eatin pussy and kickin ass Members Posts: 30,199 ✭✭✭✭✭
    If I see an educated woman dating a bar tender or some 🤬 I automatically assume she's a power 🤬 .
  • A Talented One
    A Talented One stew Members Posts: 4,202 ✭✭✭
    T/S, given the statistics that you posted and your own middle class status and background, it sounds like you should be well-positioned to take advantage of the situation with respect to dating. Yet your post kind of suggests that you are having a hard time. Why do you think that is?
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    T/S, given the statistics that you posted and your own middle class status and background, it sounds like you should be well-positioned to take advantage of the situation with respect to dating. Yet your post kind of suggests that you are having a hard time. Why do you think that is?

    well 🤬 probably a mix of many things. IM not even gonna act like there's no fault on my part. I could be less picky. I could be more "out there" as far having an active social life.

    But as I said, looking at my own friends + family it became readily apparent that people tend to settle with someone who matches their background. I looked at the difference between my current environment and background and it all made even more sense.

    Now its true, given that I am educated Im one of the few prospects an educated Black Woman can go for if she's assortative dating minded.

    However keep this in mind: I didn't just throw that last part about Women college grads with kids in there for 🤬 and giggles. Most of the Black Women ive met in Louisville who are in college or completed? Are going to school for nursing and HAVE KIDS.

    And im 27 so the likelihood of meeting Black Women with kids (whether educated or not) is only gonna increase. I don't have kids so I don't desire a partner that does either.

  • zzombie
    zzombie Members Posts: 11,280 ✭✭✭✭✭
    zzombie wrote: »
    First of all you should not be seeking a mate based on educational attainment i would rather marry a pretty idiot than marry a rich 🤬 .

    an educated woman is a plus but her having a kid is a negative that cancels out the education

    IN a perfect world, education SHOULDNT matter. But once again the income gap is only getting wider and the need for a partner of equal ability, merit, and earning power is becoming more necessary. Plus while education is important it isn't the only main factor in assortative mating. Once again factors such as income, religious practices, region, ethnic culture as well as racial culture, also come into play as well.

    WHole point of this post is to show how the numbers stack as far as likelihood of Educated African Americans finding a partner who matches up with them in an increa singly important factor in determining income.

    You cannot base your relationships on monetary needs because money is fleeting and your future is unknown lets say you marry a doctor and you are very happy with her income what's going to happen if by some accident she loses her license. The other factors you mention i agree with.

    education and thus earning potential should very unimportant when searching for a mate especially for a man.
  • Knives Amilli
    Knives Amilli Members Posts: 4,632 ✭✭✭✭✭
    zzombie wrote: »
    zzombie wrote: »
    First of all you should not be seeking a mate based on educational attainment i would rather marry a pretty idiot than marry a rich 🤬 .

    an educated woman is a plus but her having a kid is a negative that cancels out the education

    IN a perfect world, education SHOULDNT matter. But once again the income gap is only getting wider and the need for a partner of equal ability, merit, and earning power is becoming more necessary. Plus while education is important it isn't the only main factor in assortative mating. Once again factors such as income, religious practices, region, ethnic culture as well as racial culture, also come into play as well.

    WHole point of this post is to show how the numbers stack as far as likelihood of Educated African Americans finding a partner who matches up with them in an increa singly important factor in determining income.

    You cannot base your relationships on monetary needs because money is fleeting and your future is unknown lets say you marry a doctor and you are very happy with her income what's going to happen if by some accident she loses her license. The other factors you mention i agree with.

    education and thus earning potential should very unimportant when searching for a mate especially for a man.

    Of course the future is unknown. Anything can happen. But you want to go for the safest, most effective scenario.
  • A Talented One
    A Talented One stew Members Posts: 4,202 ✭✭✭
    T/S, given the statistics that you posted and your own middle class status and background, it sounds like you should be well-positioned to take advantage of the situation with respect to dating. Yet your post kind of suggests that you are having a hard time. Why do you think that is?

    well 🤬 probably a mix of many things. IM not even gonna act like there's no fault on my part. I could be less picky. I could be more "out there" as far having an active social life.

    But as I said, looking at my own friends + family it became readily apparent that people tend to settle with someone who matches their background. I looked at the difference between my current environment and background and it all made even more sense.

    Now its true, given that I am educated Im one of the few prospects an educated Black Woman can go for if she's assortative dating minded.

    However keep this in mind: I didn't just throw that last part about Women college grads with kids in there for 🤬 and giggles. Most of the Black Women ive met in Louisville who are in college or completed? Are going to school for nursing and HAVE KIDS.

    And im 27 so the likelihood of meeting Black Women with kids (whether educated or not) is only gonna increase. I don't have kids so I don't desire a partner that does either.

    First off, thanks for being honest and admitting that you're having a hard time. Too often a reluctance to be honest about one's dating life means that an accurate understanding of the dating scene is difficult to achieve.

    I can see how kids could be a huge negative factor. Too often when the media or scholars discuss this there is no mention of anything that might make these middle class black women less than desirable, anything like having kids or being overweight. It is just single, beautiful, educated black women, on the one hand, and a great mass of struggling, uneducated black men along with a few educated black men who have their pick of these women and who more often than not date multiple women at the same time, on the other. This, for example, is what Banks's book portrays.

    But there must be a lot of middle class black women there who aren't nurses and who don't have kids. You're just not meeting them.
  • JokerzWyld
    JokerzWyld Fazer o que você gosta é liberdade. Gostar do que você faz é felicidade Chocolate CityMembers Posts: 5,483 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Ralph Richard Banks wrote about this same topic more thoroughly in his book "Is Marriage for White People?" He also claimed that the onus was on black males to get on the black females level. He also mentioned very little about racism and concomitant structures that are specifically designed to hold us back economically. He also denied the most glaring statistic that black males, in spite of being incarcerated, less educated, etc, marry at a higher rate than our female counterparts. He believed that the answer to low female marriage statistics was for them to marry white men to balance out the marriage statistics.

    It's important to mention historical obstacles that the black families faced in this country. The abuse that the black family suffered in this country since the 1600s has been internalized through the generations and transferred from parent to child from generation to generation. Think of a more concentrated version of Stockholm Syndrome where the abused learns to identify with their abuser. One of the effects of this internalized oppression is dysfunction in black family units. If one of the methods of white supremacy was/is to destroy the black family unit, then it's reasonable to believe that black people (in order to adapt), would learn to live more functional lives without it.

    I write of functionality only from the context of psychological paradigm; the disparate economic conditions blacks experience in comparison to whites, specifically in regard to household income, is indicative of the need for a family structure in the black community if for no other reason than as a cooperative environment to provide economic security.
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The trap of money. Its not that money has to be disregarded but to put social status, education and money as the foundations of mating is DEHUMANIZING relationships.

  • JokerzWyld
    JokerzWyld Fazer o que você gosta é liberdade. Gostar do que você faz é felicidade Chocolate CityMembers Posts: 5,483 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The trap of money. Its not that money has to be disregarded but to put social status, education and money as the foundations of mating is DEHUMANIZING relationships.

    agreed. However, until humanity stops using money as motivator for progress, and seeks instead to work for progress directly for it's own sake, money will always be a factor in these conversations.

    I have to ask a question: could the family specifically and humanity in general, build civilization without either money or oppression as a driving force? It's a very hard question for me to answer, but I would love some feedback.
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