What's up everyone. We are doing a contest with T.I. and we are giving away $1200 a day for the next 10 days. Just wanted to give you all a heads up.
https://www.allhiphop.com/ti

You Know Whats Funny

Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
No one believes im a serial killer

Hello. I'm a killer and I have no problem admitting that. Many people have fallen victim to my gruesome attacks and I live life regretting none of it. I'm only sharing my story on here so that someone out there can know about it. Whether or not you choose to believe it is up to you.

I was a normal child, but normal is relative so who am I to make that call. What I should say is that I grew up how you would expect a kid to grow up. My parents treated me properly, I did great in school, and I had many friends. It wasn't until high school that I started feeling the need to 🤬 .

It was all so spontaneous. I was just sitting in class one day staring at one of the students when the image of him dying popped into my head. I zoned out and focused on the image, his body lying in a pool of blood leaking from his head. His arms were snapped behind his back and his feet were missing the big toes. A few weeks later that daydream became a reality... and I got away with it.

Everyone in the school was whispering rumors to one another as I walked to classes. Some were saying that he joined the army, others were convinced that he just moved like so many other kids did before him. I was the only one who knew the truth and I had to hide my devilish grin from the rest of the school. That was my only murder in high school but it ignited the flame.

When I reached adult hood I landed a successful job and had plenty of money to obtain the tools I had always dreamed of using on my victims. That's when I began to develop a signature style. I would always sever the big toes but I no longer snapped the arms behind the back. Honestly, the sound of the bones breaking didn't sit well with me. Every day I would watch the news expecting to see that one of the victims had been found, but they never were.

Years went by and I targeted another twelve victims. They were no one in particular. Women, teenagers, it really didn't matter to me. A dead body is a dead body in my eyes, I don't care who it belongs to. Very few of them would put up a fight and that was fine with me. I wasn't trying to drag out the last moments of their lives, I just wanted them to die. I wanted to savor the warmth of their blood on my hands as I slit their throat.

About a week after I killed my final victim, I met a girl that I ended up falling in love with. She doesn't realize how close she was to becoming just another undiscovered body. She wasn't able to have kids which was fine with me, I never really saw myself as a father. Neither of us believe in 🤬 so we saw no point in getting married, I was okay with this as well. I felt like my life was finally going to be normal again.

After we had been together for a few years I decided to tell her about my past. I made a special dinner for her to lighten the mood. However, when I told her she just laughed and thought I was being ridiculous. It turned into her treating it like some type of role playing fantasy I had and she ignored me as I told her it was the truth. I didn't know how to prove it to her... so I killed someone in front of her.

One night I brought her with me on what she thought was a date. When we got to the spot I opened the trunk so she could see my victim. She still thought it was a joke and asked me how I got my friend to agree to this. I think she finally understood that it was no joke as I sliced the mans throat. Her face turned pale and she reached into her purse to get her phone. I was prepared for this though and I knocked her unconscious. After I finished with my signature killing pattern I drove back to the house. My secret was not safe with her but I loved her too much to 🤬 her.

Right now she's kept in my basement. I don't treat her like a prisoner mind you, she has everything she could ever want. I'm hoping in time I can start leaving her untied at night so she'll quit trying to escape. I know one day she'll accept who I am. Maybe one day she'll help me fulfill my new fantasy of killing together. Or perhaps you guys won't believe me either and you'll brush this off as just another made up story. But that's the funny thing about being a killer...
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Comments

  • Stomp JohnsonStomp Johnson Trashposting Til Infinity Members, Writer Posts: 3,624 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Ouuuuuuuu
  • MazterChefMazterChef Members Posts: 1,313 ✭✭✭✭✭
    this is neither
    1.funny
    2.entertaining
    3.informative

    Even if you are making this up seek help
  • hueyhuey Members Posts: 11,743 ✭✭✭✭✭
    you should just make a thread with all your stories, probably would get more traffic and would make more sense that way
  • Young_ChitlinYoung_Chitlin YCN Chief/FCC Member/#RedVelvetSquad Member/IC Task Force General ASUville, PhoenixMembers Posts: 23,852 ✭✭✭✭✭
    No one believes im a serial killer

    Hello. I'm a killer and I have no problem admitting that. Many people have fallen victim to my gruesome attacks and I live life regretting none of it. I'm only sharing my story on here so that someone out there can know about it. Whether or not you choose to believe it is up to you.

    I was a normal child, but normal is relative so who am I to make that call. What I should say is that I grew up how you would expect a kid to grow up. My parents treated me properly, I did great in school, and I had many friends. It wasn't until high school that I started feeling the need to 🤬 .

    It was all so spontaneous. I was just sitting in class one day staring at one of the students when the image of him dying popped into my head. I zoned out and focused on the image, his body lying in a pool of blood leaking from his head. His arms were snapped behind his back and his feet were missing the big toes. A few weeks later that daydream became a reality... and I got away with it.

    Everyone in the school was whispering rumors to one another as I walked to classes. Some were saying that he joined the army, others were convinced that he just moved like so many other kids did before him. I was the only one who knew the truth and I had to hide my devilish grin from the rest of the school. That was my only murder in high school but it ignited the flame.

    When I reached adult hood I landed a successful job and had plenty of money to obtain the tools I had always dreamed of using on my victims. That's when I began to develop a signature style. I would always sever the big toes but I no longer snapped the arms behind the back. Honestly, the sound of the bones breaking didn't sit well with me. Every day I would watch the news expecting to see that one of the victims had been found, but they never were.

    Years went by and I targeted another twelve victims. They were no one in particular. Women, teenagers, it really didn't matter to me. A dead body is a dead body in my eyes, I don't care who it belongs to. Very few of them would put up a fight and that was fine with me. I wasn't trying to drag out the last moments of their lives, I just wanted them to die. I wanted to savor the warmth of their blood on my hands as I slit their throat.

    About a week after I killed my final victim, I met a girl that I ended up falling in love with. She doesn't realize how close she was to becoming just another undiscovered body. She wasn't able to have kids which was fine with me, I never really saw myself as a father. Neither of us believe in 🤬 so we saw no point in getting married, I was okay with this as well. I felt like my life was finally going to be normal again.

    After we had been together for a few years I decided to tell her about my past. I made a special dinner for her to lighten the mood. However, when I told her she just laughed and thought I was being ridiculous. It turned into her treating it like some type of role playing fantasy I had and she ignored me as I told her it was the truth. I didn't know how to prove it to her... so I killed someone in front of her.

    One night I brought her with me on what she thought was a date. When we got to the spot I opened the trunk so she could see my victim. She still thought it was a joke and asked me how I got my friend to agree to this. I think she finally understood that it was no joke as I sliced the mans throat. Her face turned pale and she reached into her purse to get her phone. I was prepared for this though and I knocked her unconscious. After I finished with my signature killing pattern I drove back to the house. My secret was not safe with her but I loved her too much to 🤬 her.

    Right now she's kept in my basement. I don't treat her like a prisoner mind you, she has everything she could ever want. I'm hoping in time I can start leaving her untied at night so she'll quit trying to escape. I know one day she'll accept who I am. Maybe one day she'll help me fulfill my new fantasy of killing together. Or perhaps you guys won't believe me either and you'll brush this off as just another made up story. But that's the funny thing about being a killer...

    @kai banhammer por favor
  • Lou CypherLou Cypher Make Reasonable Choices. H. E. Double Hockey SticksMembers Posts: 52,521 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Well that wasnt very funny at all.
  • 5th Letter5th Letter Black Identified Extremist Members, Moderators, Writer Posts: 37,068 Regulator
    Why don't you 🤬 yourself instead?
  • PaprikaPaprika Members Posts: 2,475 ✭✭✭✭✭
    How is he making threads without 300 posts? Y'all better fix that.
  • CashmoneyDuxCashmoneyDux Members Posts: 11,217 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This smells like reddit
  • VIBEVIBE Members Posts: 54,384 ✭✭✭✭✭
    🤬 storytelling
  • VIBEVIBE Members Posts: 54,384 ✭✭✭✭✭
    This smells like reddit

    he's stated before he "writes horror stories on Reddit", and it's 🤬 storytelling..

    I can do better
  • Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
    Trillfate wrote: »

    I know right because this
    VIBE wrote: »
    This smells like reddit

    he's stated before he "writes horror stories on Reddit", and it's 🤬 storytelling..

    I can do better

  • Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
    MazterChef wrote: »
    this is neither
    1.funny
    2.entertaining
    3.informative

    Even if you are making this up seek help

    So your saying every one in the horror industry needs help
  • BangEm_Bart BangEm_Bart Members Posts: 9,503 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Use this for good use and 🤬 David Duke, Donald Trump and his family.
  • Guy GardnerGuy Gardner Members Posts: 306 ✭✭✭✭
    [img]https://scontent-iad3-1.🤬 .fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15135816_1720116044973369_7558145743637509490_n.jpg?oh=b5cdc8f10c6cc549dd3dd066a44a690e&oe=588B4E0F[/img]
  • PaprikaPaprika Members Posts: 2,475 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2016
    [img]https://scontent-iad3-1.🤬 .fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15135816_1720116044973369_7558145743637509490_n.jpg?oh=b5cdc8f10c6cc549dd3dd066a44a690e&oe=588B4E0F[/img]

    These Max aliases aren't funny.
  • Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
    [img]https://scontent-iad3-1.🤬 .fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15135816_1720116044973369_7558145743637509490_n.jpg?oh=b5cdc8f10c6cc549dd3dd066a44a690e&oe=588B4E0F[/img]

    Are you implying my story is 🤬
  • GodNThaBuild'nGodNThaBuild'n Kneel at tha altar If dem looking fa mi then tell dem I be weh nobody knowsMembers Posts: 8,217 ✭✭✭✭✭
    [img]https://scontent-iad3-1.🤬 .fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/15135816_1720116044973369_7558145743637509490_n.jpg?oh=b5cdc8f10c6cc549dd3dd066a44a690e&oe=588B4E0F[/img]

    Pause...
  • ChillaDaKillaChillaDaKilla Retired * In between some thighs Members, Banned Users Posts: 7,082 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I tell you what 🤬 this weed is fiyah and it's killing my brain cells right now
  • Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
    I didn't realize so many of you weren't horror fans. My apologies, alittle background on myself I'm a horror fanatic i read stephen king's cujo when i was young and been a horror fan ever since. Most of the movies i watch or books i read are horror and i write horror stories in my spare time. A few of them have even ended up on BeBusta's YouTube channel....i figured yall might enjoy a old story i wrote but seeing the feed back makes me realize i was wrong i won't make a thread like this again mybad.
  • JonnyRoccITJonnyRoccIT . . . Player Shit ONLY . ZONE 6 Atlanta, GAMembers Posts: 14,389 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I tell you what 🤬 this weed is fiyah and it's killing my brain cells right now

    🤬 ya self next
  • KatKat Don't @ Me to Dumb Shit. H-TownMembers Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2016
    Struggle Reddit post.
  • Hendrix_NoJimmyHendrix_NoJimmy Members Posts: 128 ✭✭
    Kat wrote: »
    Struggle Reddit post.

    🤬

    VIBE wrote: »
    This smells like reddit

    he's stated before he "writes horror stories on Reddit", and it's 🤬 storytelling..

    I can do better

  • KatKat Don't @ Me to Dumb Shit. H-TownMembers Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Did that make you want to serial 🤬 me?
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