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Some men mistake sexual interest for consent,

24567

Comments

  • konceptjones
    konceptjones Old School Playa Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 13,139 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jono wrote: »
    5 Grand wrote: »
    How does this sound,

    First offense you get charged with "attempted sexual misconduct" and the charges automatically get dismissed, but it stays on your record for, say, 5 years.

    If it happens again within that 5 years you're probably guilty.

    If you stay out of trouble for the 5 years it gets expunged from your record.

    Basically you get a mulligan.

    how about we recognize that a dude misreading the vibe the chick was giving off and attempting to smash is just that and leave it alone?

    No good comes from microcriminalizing everything a dude does especially when the 🤬 the other party has a hand in leading him in that direction.

    That's exactly what's happening. Feminists are trying to turn everything men do into a crime.
    People don't need or want all these rules in their relationships, if a chick wants to D she knows how to get it and if he knows she thinks she wants it he will shoot his shot.

    All this 🤬 , like the OP, is folks trying to prove they actually do work in the office. Nobody needs all these complications

    I'm taking credit for that term too. Thought it up while I was typing that post.

  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature

    Quoted for emphasis
  • MsSouthern
    MsSouthern Bunny Members, Moderators Posts: 21,791 Regulator
    MsSouthern wrote: »
    MsSouthern wrote: »
    Sexual Misconduct is very vague and theres no answer to it.
    Any woman can proclaim misconduct no matter how overtly consenting she was prior.

    So can any man ....

    Well, The study is pointing to the many instances where MEN are misinterpreting sexual interest with eventual consent resulting in this very vague area we now call "misconduct."

    At the end of the day misconduct is misconduct.... Its a very blurry space where you have to set boundaries and clear definitions.

    its not 🤬 or sexual assault tho.

    Lets not turn "misconduct" into another attack term to ostracize some dude who made the first move at the wrong moment.



    I'm just pointing out it's not only women who can do that

    Not disagreeing with you on misconduct not being the same as 🤬 or sexual assault

    I see your point.
    As men we need to call out all these sleeze ball women as well.

    ITS A WAR!



    Nothing wrong with that


  • leftcoastkev
    leftcoastkev Nothing left to prove Bay Area, CAMembers Posts: 6,232 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    I don’t worry about 🤬 like this.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Cain wrote: »
    Pretty soon you won't be able to like a broads picture without getting a charge lol.

    But I'm overreacting when I'm talking about mgtow tho?

    Females collude with the state in order to narrow and condense the avenues which it is non criminal to approach a female.

    This doesn't even touch the fact that a female can initially consent to sex, nonverbally resend her consent and hit you with a charge on the basis she felt to scared to say no.

    Which is why California has the affirmative consent decree which basically mandates that men need to reaffirm consent every ten minutes.

    Now if you 🤬 are You really keeping track of time and once again this doesn't stop a female from saying that she felt coerced or intimidated into giving consent.

    It's a 🤬 minefield
  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Man with No Fucks Given Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I can see this being true. Then when you figure in the fact that some women react to sexual assault by retreating into themselves and letting it happen, the confusion between what is a 🤬 and what's not a 🤬 becomes more understandable.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A sexual assault is a specific crime tho.

    Sexual assault is an assailant who purposefully engaged in sexual Congress with another person against their will.

    Meaning there was no hint of consent verbal or nonverbal, there is active or passive resistance involved.
  • konceptjones
    konceptjones Old School Playa Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 13,139 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature

    No diss towards you, but this is some 🤬 ya pops teaches you when you're young.
  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable
  • felliwonda
    felliwonda Members Posts: 416 ✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    “Sexual interest — also referred to as sexual wantedness or desire — is a subjective experience of desiring or wanting sexual interaction with another person, whereas consent is the freely given communication of willingness to actually engage in a sexual interaction,”

    Yo this 🤬 is crazy though wtf. So... if a woman thinks this way right, at first it says Sexual interest! Or Desire! Is a Subjective. (based on or influenced by personal feelings).

    But! Consent is the freely given COMMUNICATION (means of connection between people or places, in particular.) <— that’s one of the definitions for communication. Anyways CONSENT IS WILLING TO ACTUALLY ENGAGE IN SEXUAL INTERACTION,

    BUT SEXUAL INTEREST OR DESIRE IS SUBJECTIVE! ( Based on or influenced by PERSONAL FEELINGS) wtf it sounds to me like she want the 🤬 anyways I truly don’t get this 🤬 come on what’s going on.
  • twenty2
    twenty2 My Ideals May Not Be Ideal But I Deal...Members Posts: 255 ✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    twenty2 wrote: »
    5 Grand wrote: »
    How does this sound,

    First offense you get charged with "attempted sexual misconduct" and the charges automatically get dismissed, but it stays on your record for, say, 5 years.

    If it happens again within that 5 years you're probably guilty.

    If you stay out of trouble for the 5 years it gets expunged from your record.

    Basically you get a mulligan.

    How does this sound...

    No.

    And that goes for your proposal AND what a chick should say if she ain't ready to take it there yet.

    Here's the problem with your response:

    The guy and the girl were the only two people in the room. She says that she said "no", he says she said, "yes".

    It's a he said/she said situation. The girl can't prove that she said, "no" and the guy can't prove she said, "yes".


    It goes to court and whoever can afford the better lawyer wins on a he said/she said situation.

    Getting convicted of 🤬 and having to register as a sex offender can ruin a guy's life, especially if he honestly thought she consented. I'm not saying that rapists should go free, but in certain circumstances the guy and the girl can't agree on what happened.

    I'd hate to get convicted for smashing a chick that I brought home to my apartment after a date.

    I get that a cat would get hit with a "lesser charge" off rip as opposed to just catchin a 🤬 case... But the he say/she say/battle of the better lawyer stuff is pretty much how it already is...

    I'm just not too keen on them creating more laws that pretty much place the onus solely on men and that we'd have to wiggle our way out of while chick can exaggerate and dramatize situations and then walk smoov away from in the end no matter the outcome or true story. If they gon' create more laws, how bout they create some that will punish false accusers? Or in your scenario, whoever loses gets put on paper and gotta "prove themselves" for the next 5 years?
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Consent is a subjective form of communication that varies based on the parties involved.

    For example, some females like aggressive men that take charge.

    Other females like to be wined dined and seduced out their panties

    Still others like to be fully in control from a to z.

    2 scenarios

    My sophomore year this chick that was part of a circle of friends found me at a party. We both drinking we off our face. On the way back to the dorm we kissing rubbing on 🤬 this that and the third. Get back to her room start taking her clothes off sucking on 🤬 progressing. Now i go in for the 🤬 I'm like taking her panties off and 🤬 . She freezes up grabs my hand. We don't stop we just keep it at the level we're at. She don't say "no we not 🤬 " so I'm thinking well maybe not now. I go back in for the 🤬 , she grabs my hand again. So I'm like wtf, i ain't here to just suck on some 🤬 and 🤬 . So like five minutes later i dip out.
    I didn't think anything of it, nothing came of it. I think back on that 🤬 now and if it was today's climate I'd a been jammed up. I was young 🤬 and full of nut perfect recipe for recklessness.

    2nd scenario last year of my undergrad this little Chinese chick i been on and off with came over for my birthday. I wasn't doing 🤬 just playing video games. So we start with the light foreplay, i start taking off her bra but i feel like passive resistance like she freezing up. So i just called it right then. Saw her out the door. Like i sorta learned a little bit of the game then but not really.
  • [Deleted User]
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  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    🤬 with females there were a lot of situations where i coulda got myself 🤬 up because 🤬 don't always know the games females play.

    Like black girls typically like aggressive 🤬 . A 🤬 that is just gonna make his move.

    White girls typically like dominant 🤬 not aggressive but firmly taking charge of a situation

    Latinas be liking a build up to the moment. They like a sexually charged atmosphere bc they really get off on that latin seductress stereotype.

    Asian 🤬 are funny. You can't always read them. Partly if they are international too because cultural barriers causes a lot of miscommunication
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Girls play a lot of games figuring out their sexuality and how they can use it and do different things with it.

    Like you got some females that will wave their 🤬 in your face just to see how high you'd jump to get it. They have no intentions of 🤬 but they want to exert some power and influence.
  • felliwonda
    felliwonda Members Posts: 416 ✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    🤬 with females there were a lot of situations where i coulda got myself 🤬 up because 🤬 don't always know the games females play.

    Like black girls typically like aggressive 🤬 . A 🤬 that is just gonna make his move.

    White girls typically like dominant 🤬 not aggressive but firmly taking charge of a situation

    Latinas be liking a build up to the moment. They like a sexually charged atmosphere bc they really get off on that latin seductress stereotype.

    Asian 🤬 are funny. You can't always read them. Partly if they are international too because cultural barriers causes a lot of miscommunication

    Dawg am telling you man you never know wtf going on out here with women sometimes.
  • AggieLean.
    AggieLean. Sion Country ass nigga.Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 2,325 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    Who said it did?
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    What does it mean then? Yellow light? Proceed with caution.

    Basically the verbiage is setting up a scenario where men have to let females make the first move.

    But how often do females make the first move?

    Most times a 🤬 only has "sexual interest" to act upon as information if she gon 🤬 or not
  • felliwonda
    felliwonda Members Posts: 416 ✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    What does it mean then? Yellow light? Proceed with caution.

    Basically the verbiage is setting up a scenario where men have to let females make the first move.

    But how often do females make the first move?

    Most times a 🤬 only has "sexual interest" to act upon as information if she gon 🤬 or not


    Lmfao man smh I keep telling you man
  • [Deleted User]
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  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Man with No Fucks Given Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    We'll never reach a consensus on what's acceptable.

    Take the whole "street harassment" 🤬 . You got women out there vehemently opposed to a man approaching them for any reason while out and about much less speaking to them. Then you have women that welcome it and are flattered by it and think the chicks that don't like it are just stuck up 🤬 . You have women that actively seek it out male attention on the street and see all attention as good. Then you have women that don't care one way or another and really wish everyone would just shut up about such a non-issue.

    In a scenario like your own, the last time he did it the chick was likely open and receptive, prolly even decided she was gonna 🤬 before she got to his crib. For her it was a welcome thing, for you it wasn't. Consensus can never be reached because some chicks don't mind it while others do. Same for "unwanted" touching; for some women it's a sign the man is feelin' her and she likes it and for some they look at it as sexual assault.

    This is the 🤬 that females don't understand. 🤬 ain't mind readers. The only thing we can do are read the signs as best we can. If the 🤬 worked for us the last three times, we have no reason to assume it won't work the forth time. If we're wrong we're wrong, but we're not villains for misreading signals.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    What does it mean then? Yellow light? Proceed with caution.

    Basically the verbiage is setting up a scenario where men have to let females make the first move.

    But how often do females make the first move?

    Most times a 🤬 only has "sexual interest" to act upon as information if she gon 🤬 or not

    So if a chick say "holup, I have a flare up" you gon say 🤬 that 🤬 and rip the draws off?

    If a she kinda 🤬 but has a moment of clarity, you gon buss that chick in the eye?

    What about if she suddenly have wild bowels mid face sucking?

    What if her period happen to come down? You gon earn your red wings?

    What if she dry 🤬 you and was put off by your rhythm?


    Sexual Interest =/= Green Light

    You know how many women done walked by me while bench pressing just to check my package? You must think i should have had my way with each of them huh?

    My 🤬 swing like a muhfukka during deadlifts, so every woman that watch the 🤬 is mine for the taking?

    Nah bro... Yall wrong.

    🤬 you KNOW that's not what we mean. There's a difference between passing sexual interests (what you just described) vs continued and sustained sexual interest.
    🤬 understand the first bit because 🤬 check out females all the time in a passing manner.

    All them other scenarios are variables that change up the whole situation.