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Some men mistake sexual interest for consent,

12467

Comments

  • blakfyahking
    blakfyahking The IC's Resident Father Figure Members Posts: 15,785 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    the bolded/underlined just indicated u were naive as hell back then

    if a 🤬 dating u and invite u to his house it's pretty much an assumption that he trying to smash

    did u ask him upfront if he was only inviting u over to maybe 🤬 ? if not, how are u not just as guilty of sending mixed signals?


    the problem is women love being approached the vague way to lessen the transactional nature of most sexual encounters..........usually women who see their 🤬 as a bargaining chip have a problem with being upfront about sex

    the reason being is they always want to have to opportunity to back out of the responsibility of participating......afterwards if 🤬 doesn't go her way in her mind for whatever reason, the fact that she never explicitly agreed in a firm legal affirmation gives her the opportunity to back out and play victim




    not saying this applies to u @Madame_CJSkywalker , I'm just pointing out that u can't act like dude did something wrong when he was being vague......most women encourage the vague way of initiating sexual encounters
  • gorilla
    gorilla Members Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    the bolded/underlined just indicated u were naive as hell back then

    if a 🤬 dating u and invite u to his house it's pretty much an assumption that he trying to smash

    did u ask him upfront if he was only inviting u over to maybe 🤬 ? if not, how are u not just as guilty of sending mixed signals?


    the problem is women love being approached the vague way to lessen the transactional nature of most sexual encounters..........usually women who see their 🤬 as a bargaining chip have a problem with being upfront about sex

    the reason being is they always want to have to opportunity to back out of the responsibility of participating......afterwards if 🤬 doesn't go her way in her mind for whatever reason, the fact that she never explicitly agreed in a firm legal affirmation gives her the opportunity to back out and play victim




    not saying this applies to u @Madame_CJSkywalker , I'm just pointing out that u can't act like dude did something wrong when he was being vague......most women encourage the vague way of initiating sexual encounters

    Naw, you vicitm blaming fam. You mean a woman can't go to a mans house JUST to eat after a few dates?

    [/sarcasm]
  • THIRDSUPREME
    THIRDSUPREME TargSettotheDeathLarkKillaNigga Home of the SlavesMembers Posts: 7,519 ✭✭✭✭✭


    🤬 these hoes Maine!!!!

    Hahahahahahahaha!
  • gorilla
    gorilla Members Posts: 1,889 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    Props to you for getting out of there but real 🤬 if you didn't plan on fuckig you should have never went to his house without making that clear. And imatead of making an excuse to leave you shoulda been straight up like I didn't come here for that so I'm out. Nor is he obligated to take you home( he don't a right to force you to stay either).

    You gon call it victim blaming, but in reality it's called being a grownup. We can't just expect everybody else to have our best interest or read our minds.
  • MarcusGarvey
    MarcusGarvey Members Posts: 4,569 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    Yall making this too complicated

    Theres a difference between work and outside of work

    •Don't be pulling out your 🤬 at work like its a sign here sticker. In fact dont even talk that talk at work with any woman

    •Don't touch women sexually without their consent

    Outside of work, keep spitting them lyrics 🤬 what these #MeToo bishes say. A chick should be flattered A man noticed her.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The problem with the male female dating dynamic is that females have sovereignty over their choices, over their body, over their sexuality.
    But females don't want to deal with the freedom of accepting consequences.

    Fam just said in the other post females behave in ways talk in ways to always give themselves an out. This means that nothing with them is definitive, nothing is black and white, everything is this nebulous gray area.

    Most 🤬 are yes or no. It's either yes the plan is moving forward or no It's not. But like once we decide on a course of action we go with it.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Continued 3rd post.

    Most importantly,

    Females will hold a 🤬 to his definitive answer. If you back out of anything whether it be coming over, paying a bill, going out, throwing some 🤬 a female expects a man to stick by his definitive come hell or high water. Females will make whole day plans around an answer you gave two weeks ago on some, "well you said...."

    Females will build life plans around a one time conversation. If you back out or change your mind you a ain't 🤬 🤬 .

    So i don't respect the fact that females reserve the right to change their mind in any situation but will hold a man firmly to his answer.

    i can vouch for this.....i hate when chicks be on some a real man sticks to what he said but they can change their mind on the whim and use the "a woman can change her mind" 🤬 .

    i dumped alot of 🤬 over this type 🤬 .

    fukk any type of circumstance out of your control....you didnt do it so that makes you a liar.

    you knew your mom was sick last week. you are a liar.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    A further 🤬 more let a 🤬 try to play games with 🤬 like these females play games with 🤬 .

    Let a 🤬 be all up on 🤬 like he tryna 🤬 her down and she with that action.
    Let him tryna hit her with the "Stahhp" or "what I'm not like that" after he been rubbing on her 🤬 kissing her neck.

    You ain't never seen a 🤬 till you seen a thirsty 🤬 on the hunt for some 🤬 . Let you try to leave you all types of 🤬 🤬 and aint 🤬 🤬 .

    So again i just don't respect the fact that females give off this perception that they are just imposed upon and under constant threat of harassment and intimidation, WHEN THEY DO THE SAME 🤬 !!

    I hate that hypocrite 🤬 with a 🤬 passion
  • sunlord
    sunlord Members Posts: 515 ✭✭✭✭
    @Madame_CJSkywalker so you actually thought he invited you over just to watch a movie??? You should always assume that anytime you are alone with a man he wants to 🤬 .
  • aneed123
    aneed123 Members Posts: 23,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
    When it comes to having sex, consent is crucial. While that may seem obvious, a new study in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence reveals that some men perceive a woman’s interest in them as consent for sex, misinterpreting a woman’s sexual intentions.

    It may sound like splitting hairs, but there’s a difference between being interested in having sex with someone (sexual interest) and actually deciding to act on that desire (consent to sex). The problem, according to the new research, is that some men have difficulty differentiating between the two.

    For the study, researchers shared a series of hypothetical sexual scenarios with 145 heterosexual male college students and asked how they would respond. The researchers found that most men tended to confuse perceived sexual interest with being given the green light to have sex.

    “Sexual interest — also referred to as sexual wantedness or desire — is a subjective experience of desiring or wanting sexual interaction with another person, whereas consent is the freely given communication of willingness to actually engage in a sexual interaction,” study author Richard E. Mattson, director of graduate studies in psychology and an associate professor at Binghamton University, tells Yahoo Lifestyle.

    the rest at
    https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/men-mistake-sexual-interest-consent-new-study-shows-165332234.html

    aka women like to play games, are indecisive (will stop in the middle of sex to say no) and will have interest do the act then be shamed after the fact and want to blame someone for their choice
  • aneed123
    aneed123 Members Posts: 23,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
    LordZuko wrote: »
    LordZuko wrote: »
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    What does it mean then? Yellow light? Proceed with caution.

    Basically the verbiage is setting up a scenario where men have to let females make the first move.

    But how often do females make the first move?

    Most times a 🤬 only has "sexual interest" to act upon as information if she gon 🤬 or not

    So if a chick say "holup, I have a flare up" you gon say 🤬 that 🤬 and rip the draws off?

    If a she kinda 🤬 but has a moment of clarity, you gon buss that chick in the eye?

    What about if she suddenly have wild bowels mid face sucking?

    What if her period happen to come down? You gon earn your red wings?

    What if she dry 🤬 you and was put off by your rhythm?


    Sexual Interest =/= Green Light

    You know how many women done walked by me while bench pressing just to check my package? You must think i should have had my way with each of them huh?

    My 🤬 swing like a muhfukka during deadlifts, so every woman that watch the 🤬 is mine for the taking?

    Nah bro... Yall wrong.

    🤬 you KNOW that's not what we mean. There's a difference between passing sexual interests (what you just described) vs continued and sustained sexual interest.
    🤬 understand the first bit because 🤬 check out females all the time in a passing manner.

    All them other scenarios are variables that change up the whole situation.

    Ok.

    What if she just plain loses interest?

    How is this not allowed?

    What if she got a bad case of 🤬 Dew?

    Then she should open her mouth and say "i change my mind" or something to that effect.

    There's a reason that we say sex is for adults because all parties have a reasonable assumption of being able to communicate.

    Man...

    Maybe yall just messin with the wrong females.

    I suggest messing with a more mature group of women.

    After a certain age women become more secure with themselves and their sexuality.

    Find you a sugar momma.

    it don't work like that homie. You are what ur options are and who likes u back. What if these young guys cant get a "mature woman" to like them and they have to deal with the demographic who actually is giving them play? We got to look at the realer bigger picture
  • aneed123
    aneed123 Members Posts: 23,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
    But these hoes turn around and call you lame for not being aggressive enough

    Someone calls you lame for actually trying to take the time to see what she likes and is cool with...take it as a red flag and keep it pushing

    with a dry 🤬 .... see folk keep overlooking the goal is to get 🤬 or sex.... so all this 🤬 being spilled by women doenst help the man at all... but it does help her cuz she can 🤬 when she want to esp if she pretty. the game has been rigged b
  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 0 Regulator
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  • King_MOEbra
    King_MOEbra Members Posts: 8,323 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Who cares about what a "🤬 " think? Deal with "women", instead.
  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Man with No Fucks Given Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017

    U can't always foresee what will offend or upset a person

    Same as I'm sure there is someone out there who actually enjoys being grabbed by strange men

    But is it always required you actually act or speak a word(s) before it occurs to you that this word or said action could potentially be offensive

    If some females tell me they prefer that I ask before doing a certain action, and just as many or more females tell me asking would get me disqualified, I have absolutely no way to know which side a female falls on before doing it. All I can do is read the signals as best as I can and take my shot. I'm not sure why this is so hard for you to grasp.

    In regards to touching

    Is it not conventional wisdom that touching someone is an invasion of someone's personal space and typically reserved for those we are intimate with? wouldnt you agree its a good assumption if you have not established trust with a person they aren't going to want you touching them regardless of whether a previous individual or 2 with whom you had little to no rapport responded positively

    Same with referring to a with someone's body, personhood who you barely know

    Don't really see it as being all that hard or confusing

    I guess when women come to the general consensus that "how's ur day going" " what's your name, if you don't mind me asking" is offensive I could sympathize

    lol The whole point is there is no consensus on anything, which is why it's impossible to predict. If we knew that every single woman would receive being touched on the arm badly, none but the most disrespectful would do that. Again, for some females it is offensive. For others, something like that is necessary to break the ice and gain her interest. Sure you could just never touch anyone you don't know, and maybe that approach would keep you out of trouble, but it could also you prevent you from the success you want. It's like promoting abstinence as the best way to avoid pregnancy. That 🤬 doesn't work because it basically ignores human nature. You say you don't see why it's hard or confusing, well you must be a psychological genius because when you read up on this subject, pretty much the only consensus is that human interaction is extremely complicated and there is no rule or set of rules that works in all cases.
  • sunlord
    sunlord Members Posts: 515 ✭✭✭✭
    Who cares about what a "🤬 " think? Deal with "women", instead.

    Women turn into 🤬 when it's convenient.
  • aneed123
    aneed123 Members Posts: 23,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
    aneed123 wrote: »
    LordZuko wrote: »
    LordZuko wrote: »
    LordZuko wrote: »
    Curiosity doesn mean green light you 🤬 retards.

    Gotdamn

    What does it mean then? Yellow light? Proceed with caution.

    Basically the verbiage is setting up a scenario where men have to let females make the first move.

    But how often do females make the first move?

    Most times a 🤬 only has "sexual interest" to act upon as information if she gon 🤬 or not

    So if a chick say "holup, I have a flare up" you gon say 🤬 that 🤬 and rip the draws off?

    If a she kinda 🤬 but has a moment of clarity, you gon buss that chick in the eye?

    What about if she suddenly have wild bowels mid face sucking?

    What if her period happen to come down? You gon earn your red wings?

    What if she dry 🤬 you and was put off by your rhythm?


    Sexual Interest =/= Green Light

    You know how many women done walked by me while bench pressing just to check my package? You must think i should have had my way with each of them huh?

    My 🤬 swing like a muhfukka during deadlifts, so every woman that watch the 🤬 is mine for the taking?

    Nah bro... Yall wrong.

    🤬 you KNOW that's not what we mean. There's a difference between passing sexual interests (what you just described) vs continued and sustained sexual interest.
    🤬 understand the first bit because 🤬 check out females all the time in a passing manner.

    All them other scenarios are variables that change up the whole situation.

    Ok.

    What if she just plain loses interest?

    How is this not allowed?

    What if she got a bad case of 🤬 Dew?

    Then she should open her mouth and say "i change my mind" or something to that effect.

    There's a reason that we say sex is for adults because all parties have a reasonable assumption of being able to communicate.

    Man...

    Maybe yall just messin with the wrong females.

    I suggest messing with a more mature group of women.

    After a certain age women become more secure with themselves and their sexuality.

    Find you a sugar momma.

    it don't work like that homie. You are what ur options are and who likes u back. What if these young guys cant get a "mature woman" to like them and they have to deal with the demographic who actually is giving them play? We got to look at the realer bigger picture

    Man i aint think i was talking to teenagers and damn near adults.

    Reckon i should have caught that...


    We need Growing Pains back...

    yeah we gotta understand these young guys going thru a whole nother level of fuckery... Being back single in my 30s I see the difference from my teens and from my 20s dealing with women. We can assume what works for us is universal but its different. Now u cant even be assertive in getting 🤬 when for my age growing up assertion made they panties wet. I done 🤬 so many women coworkers in life not all of a sudden its being made into a crime. Feminist done victimized and criminalized 🤬 women and not giving a 🤬 about them afterwards... tis is what this battle is about. Shaming 🤬 behavior and womens feelings once they have given up their 1 ace in hole for getting what they want in life which is 🤬 .
  • Huey_C
    Huey_C I'm a fucking prick.. Lord Huey Members Posts: 3,539 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @Black_Samson bro you know where this is heading, the army had a real serious problem and instead of fixing it they over compensate. It's to the point where some women have weaponized sex. Good luck 🤬 off a vindictive woman your ass will end up being courts martial and with hopefully a less than honorable discharge.
  • aneed123
    aneed123 Members Posts: 23,763 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Who cares about what a "🤬 " think? Deal with "women", instead.

    u cant say general 🤬 like this.... are there more wholesome people or worldy people in the world? whats gonna happen when all the women die and the IG hoes running wild now get old and raise they daughters?
  • playmaker88
    playmaker88 Boy, I tell you that's vision Like Tony Romo when he hitting Witten Members Posts: 67,905 ✭✭✭✭✭
    5 Grand wrote: »
    How does this sound,

    First offense you get charged with "attempted sexual misconduct" and the charges automatically get dismissed, but it stays on your record for, say, 5 years.

    If it happens again within that 5 years you're probably guilty.

    If you stay out of trouble for the 5 years it gets expunged from your record.

    Basically you get a mulligan.

    How bout we allow 🤬 if you get get your phd or have a networth over $10 million dollars. and you can grab a breast or ass off your choosing if you enroll in class at a community college and take a full course load for two semesters.
  • blakfyahking
    blakfyahking The IC's Resident Father Figure Members Posts: 15,785 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    I read this 🤬 again and it got me thinking how funny it was that u posted the bolded

    I mean, how grimy was it for u to come over and get u a free meal 1st before u just so happen to "notice" there was no TV in the living room? u made sure u ate some food before u tried to play innocent like u were really surprised that cuzzo was trying to smash LOL

    he was a real gentleman cuz based on the facts he should've sent u home on that Uber quick.....no daps needed

    funny part is that even if there was a TV in the living room, it should have been understood that there was the obvious implication that he wanted the drawls

    only simp 🤬 put up with 🤬 like preparing home cooked meals for broads who like to play games.......I'm legitimately mad at how u scammed dude and then told the story afterwards like u were an innocent victim :joy:




    nah I'm reaching cuz ya'll could've just brought food to the house.......but my point still stands that u could've easily stated ur intent before u decided to even go there
  • Huey_C
    Huey_C I'm a fucking prick.. Lord Huey Members Posts: 3,539 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited November 2017
    aneed123 wrote: »
    Who cares about what a "🤬 " think? Deal with "women", instead.

    u cant say general 🤬 like this.... are there more wholesome people or worldy people in the world? whats gonna happen when all the women die and the IG hoes running wild now get old and raise they daughters?

    "🤬 " are at work with "normal women" with the support of beta males. All these 🤬 walks and normalizing questionable behavior is opening up the flood gates. I don't care if a woman wants to be responsible and sleep with whomever, it's not ok to tell young girls it's ok to be loose and reckless.
  • playmaker88
    playmaker88 Boy, I tell you that's vision Like Tony Romo when he hitting Witten Members Posts: 67,905 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yall making this too complicated

    Theres a difference between work and outside of work

    •Don't be pulling out your 🤬 at work like its a sign here sticker. In fact dont even talk that talk at work with any woman

    •Don't touch women sexually without their consent

    Outside of work, keep spitting them lyrics 🤬 what these #MeToo bishes say. A chick should be flattered A man noticed her.

    lol i was gonna goat this til the last line