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Some men mistake sexual interest for consent,

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Comments

  • rickmogul
    rickmogul IFNOTYNOT Members Posts: 1,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Record mode! Women R playing a deadly game with how men won't approach them in the future and will have em lonely and bitter. Y they on 🤬 so much? They convolute, contrive and collapse all they try and head / lead / run. They keep this up, hoes, real Hoes will be the housewives of the future. Feel sorry for broads sometimes man. They don't get it.
  • Crude_
    Crude_ Legend Members Posts: 19,964 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2017
    Women will send a man mixed signals all day long, because it's pleasure in the chase for them and most of them enjoy being the center of male attention whether they admit it or not.

    A good bit of the time that male attention comes with flirting and sexual innuendo. Sometimes the flirting and innuendo might be subtle and other times it might be more overt depending on the personality and motivations of the man.

    Women can "act" naive or aloof all they like; however, if she's invited in this type of behavior and continues to entertain it then it is a reasonable summation that she is interested as well. Women really are the ones who do the choosing anyway once a man indicates he's interested she holds most of the power then.

    Women have power and domain over what they choose to entertain and allow in their space, so these allegations that these men coerced them or forced anything upon them is likely grossly overblown and a misinterpretation of facts.

    Like someone else has mentioned as long as a man isn't putting his hands on woman, trying to use his power or influence to make her do things, or trying to blackmail her into something then the flirting and sexual innuendo should be mostly taken with a grain of salt especially if she continued to allow herself to be in that space and around that man when she wasn't threatened and/or she is just waiting until now to come about something that supposedly happened years ago.
  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2017
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    I get you however
    What da hell are you doing ALONE in a man's house you arent 80% down to 🤬 anyway?

    Platonic relationships take place mostly during afternoons in Starbucks style places. No man, except a perv would try to initiate something sexual towards you.

    IF MOST OF US GOT SOME RELATIONSHIPS EDUCATION most of MISUNDERSTANDINGS WOULDNT HAPPEN. But we tend to put ourselves in situations we dont understand.

    IM NOT VICTIM BLAMING. However its high time we learn to GIVE BACK TO PLACES AND TIME THEIR MEANINGS.



  • LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY
    LEMZIMUS_RAMSEY SHAPE YOUR REALITY INSIDE WHICH YOU THRIVE Members, Writer Posts: 17,670 ✭✭✭✭✭
    At this rate a prostitue will sue her clients for 🤬 🤬 nilly.
    Time and places have meanings.

    Thats the things we teach women when they enter the military. All the ones who didnt listen ended up in bad predicaments, true or fabricated.
  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭

    U can't always foresee what will offend or upset a person

    Same as I'm sure there is someone out there who actually enjoys being grabbed by strange men

    But is it always required you actually act or speak a word(s) before it occurs to you that this word or said action could potentially be offensive

    If some females tell me they prefer that I ask before doing a certain action, and just as many or more females tell me asking would get me disqualified, I have absolutely no way to know which side a female falls on before doing it. All I can do is read the signals as best as I can and take my shot. I'm not sure why this is so hard for you to grasp.

    In regards to touching

    Is it not conventional wisdom that touching someone is an invasion of someone's personal space and typically reserved for those we are intimate with? wouldnt you agree its a good assumption if you have not established trust with a person they aren't going to want you touching them regardless of whether a previous individual or 2 with whom you had little to no rapport responded positively

    Same with referring to a with someone's body, personhood who you barely know

    Don't really see it as being all that hard or confusing

    I guess when women come to the general consensus that "how's ur day going" " what's your name, if you don't mind me asking" is offensive I could sympathize

    lol The whole point is there is no consensus on anything, which is why it's impossible to predict. If we knew that every single woman would receive being touched on the arm badly, none but the most disrespectful would do that. Again, for some females it is offensive. For others, something like that is necessary to break the ice and gain her interest. Sure you could just never touch anyone you don't know, and maybe that approach would keep you out of trouble, but it could also you prevent you from the success you want. It's like promoting abstinence as the best way to avoid pregnancy. That 🤬 doesn't work because it basically ignores human nature. You say you don't see why it's hard or confusing, well you must be a psychological genius because when you read up on this subject, pretty much the only consensus is that human interaction is extremely complicated and there is no rule or set of rules that works in all cases.

    we can never get to a real real consensus ... but we can try to move closer to that goal

    Well what is your real goal? Cause it seems like you want to impose a set of rules where there is no basis for such a set. Again, if your advice for men is don't touch women you don't know at all, then what about all those women that respond to touch? I think we all can agree that some dudes take things too far and more can be done to dissuade that. But do you really think demonizing men for every little act is the right solution. So what you don't like the way a particular dude came at you. There is a difference between his style not being your thing and him being outright disrespectful.

    not all touching is equal

    and ultimately think a change in culture is necessary

    but yea everyone, especially women, do have to continue to allow for a gray area for misunderstandings, when a person misreads a situation ....opposed to just classifying everything as harassment... true it's not helpful
  • Madame_CJSkywalker
    Madame_CJSkywalker Members Posts: 940 ✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    I get you however
    What da hell are you doing ALONE in a man's house you arent 80% down to 🤬 anyway?

    Platonic relationships take place mostly during afternoons in Starbucks style places. No man, except a perv would try to initiate something sexual towards you.

    IF MOST OF US GOT SOME RELATIONSHIPS EDUCATION most of MISUNDERSTANDINGS WOULDNT HAPPEN. But we tend to put ourselves in situations we dont understand.

    IM NOT VICTIM BLAMING. However its high time we learn to GIVE BACK TO PLACES AND TIME THEIR MEANINGS.




    i wasn't necessarily surprised...not tryna say i'm a victim or anything...youthful indiscretion, tryna give ppl the benefit of the doubt

    just pointing out the game playing, deception....the entitlement issues

    in response to this idea women are the only one playing games
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Precisely why I do not engage in flirtatious behavior with men unless I have intention of having sex with them.
  • LPast
    LPast Members Posts: 4,546 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I haven't personally come across this, but I see a trend of things being discussed online and in the being blown out of proportion.

    All of these politicians, anchors, etc were doing some serious ish that warranted them losing their positions.
  • Will Munny
    Will Munny Eatin pussy and kickin ass Members Posts: 30,199 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I don’t even like standing in line behind women, of any age.
  • rickmogul
    rickmogul IFNOTYNOT Members Posts: 1,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2017
    New gig white girl who already on DAY ONE told management she didn't like the brother she works with in inventory. Was helping patients and she needed to get by right. 🤬 one armed bear hugged my whole chest to go to the left and on the way back hooked around my stomach coming back to the right side. It registered immediately and I kept it moving. Hoes know what they doing. Putting 🤬 on ya arm and 🤬 . I've always said it's no such thing as harassment when SHE WANTS U. It's game on the but tread lightly. Their days R numbered playing both sides. No one will take em seriously very soon.
  • LordZuko
    LordZuko Black Ronin A swirling tempest in the midnight sunMembers Posts: 2,473 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Precisely why I do not engage in flirtatious behavior with men unless I have intention of having sex with them.

    Is old white 🤬 on the uptrend again?
  • jetlifebih
    jetlifebih Sion Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 4,655 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited December 2017
    Mysonne dropping gems....women use their sexuality as power the same way men use their positions of power it’s just one is looked at more negative(men using positions of power) than the other and we never hear the other side being talked about with the same emotion and or enthusiasm

    Typical @Madame_CJSkywalker @Westie @Kat @babelipsss @BiblicalAtheist response at the 10:00 mark...you hit women with logic...they hit you with the....”oh well...the bottom line is....”
    [yt]

  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @jetlifebih idk wtf you're talking about. Don't presume to know anything about me.
  • Shuffington
    Shuffington Members Posts: 3,775 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Yeah... in a lot of situations

    Men use their power to sleep with women.
    Women sleep with men to gain power.


    Who's actually wrong here?

    •Would you say those in powerful positions have a responsibility to utilize their power in ways that are moral and ethical.?

    or

    • In general those looking to obtain power need to work within and ethical and moral blueprint to rise to a powerful position.

    I think the game is rigged in general.
    perhaps what is going on now is a reset.
  • jetlifebih
    jetlifebih Sion Guests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 4,655 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @jetlifebih idk wtf you're talking about. Don't presume to know anything about me.

    Don’t @ me to dumb 🤬
  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    We'll never reach a consensus on what's acceptable.

    Take the whole "street harassment" 🤬 . You got women out there vehemently opposed to a man approaching them for any reason while out and about much less speaking to them. Then you have women that welcome it and are flattered by it and think the chicks that don't like it are just stuck up 🤬 . You have women that actively seek it out male attention on the street and see all attention as good. Then you have women that don't care one way or another and really wish everyone would just shut up about such a non-issue.

    In a scenario like your own, the last time he did it the chick was likely open and receptive, prolly even decided she was gonna 🤬 before she got to his crib. For her it was a welcome thing, for you it wasn't. Consensus can never be reached because some chicks don't mind it while others do. Same for "unwanted" touching; for some women it's a sign the man is feelin' her and she likes it and for some they look at it as sexual assault.

    This is the 🤬 that females don't understand. 🤬 ain't mind readers. The only thing we can do are read the signs as best we can. If the 🤬 worked for us the last three times, we have no reason to assume it won't work the forth time. If we're wrong we're wrong, but we're not villains for misreading signals.

    Misreading signals isnt usually an issue. Its when 🤬 know the signals ain't there and they keep pressing. 🤬 I just read an article that said 1 of 4 men don't think flashing a woman or rubbing against her without her consent is wrong. 🤬 like that is a problem if that study is true
  • BiblicalAtheist
    BiblicalAtheist Prude FieldsMembers Posts: 15,668 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    @jetlifebih idk wtf you're talking about. Don't presume to know anything about me.

    Don’t @ me to dumb 🤬

    Likewise.
  • blackrain
    blackrain Members, Moderators Posts: 27,269 Regulator
    edited December 2017
    aneed123 wrote: »
    But these hoes turn around and call you lame for not being aggressive enough

    Someone calls you lame for actually trying to take the time to see what she likes and is cool with...take it as a red flag and keep it pushing

    with a dry 🤬 .... see folk keep overlooking the goal is to get 🤬 or sex.... so all this 🤬 being spilled by women doenst help the man at all... but it does help her cuz she can 🤬 when she want to esp if she pretty. the game has been rigged b

    But is the 🤬 worth it? That's what you got to consider. Somebody playing games ain't never worth it. There's plenty women who have no problem letting it be known what they want. I was talking to a co worker the other day. He fresh out of college and still in his "crazy women are fun" phase. Told the lil 🤬 its all fun til you realize you ain't got not peace because of her crazy ass.
  • The Lonious Monk
    The Lonious Monk Man with No Fucks Given Members Posts: 26,258 ✭✭✭✭✭
    blackrain wrote: »
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    When i worked corrections ....they had a very important part of the training called “the games inmates play”

    Basically they would put you up on game about the 🤬 inmates do to manipulate officers.....

    There needs to be a class called “the games women play”

    🤬 you mean your interested in 🤬 but you don’t want to 🤬 ....is you 🤬 or not?? Your girlfriend requested me on fb was eyeing me the whole 🤬 night anyway ...stop playing games....

    This really sounds like some 🤬 chicks used to do right around that age where you stopped listening to your parents when they WASNT there...this issue seems adolescent in nature


    early 20s. had a guy I'd been dealing with invite me over just to watch a movie... no discussion of sex....its like 6 pm...i accept because our first couple of dates was cool and we had chemistry... get to his house. eat. there is no tv in his living room. the only working tv is supposedly in his bedroom. now he tryna get me to drink. wasn't ready to go there with him. I make up an excuse to leave and even then he didn't want to take me home at first

    now I'm thinking had he told me to find a diff way home he prob would have plenty of boys ready to dap him up

    or if I'm down to just hug up and kiss, times you got men who will pressure u to do more after 2, 3 rebuffs

    and based off what other women shared with me it happens a lot...

    that said, i don't even think a lot of men are actively trying to do harm...or rather they aren't consciously aware of how intimidating or grating it can be after a while because obviously y'all are rarely on the receiving end, bigger, etc... and its almost expected behavior and has been tolerated up until now...it usually is chalked up to boys beings boys... to youth...etc

    agree things are kind of getting muddled....but that's why what is consent is a necessary convo though...and getting to a consensus what is acceptable

    We'll never reach a consensus on what's acceptable.

    Take the whole "street harassment" 🤬 . You got women out there vehemently opposed to a man approaching them for any reason while out and about much less speaking to them. Then you have women that welcome it and are flattered by it and think the chicks that don't like it are just stuck up 🤬 . You have women that actively seek it out male attention on the street and see all attention as good. Then you have women that don't care one way or another and really wish everyone would just shut up about such a non-issue.

    In a scenario like your own, the last time he did it the chick was likely open and receptive, prolly even decided she was gonna 🤬 before she got to his crib. For her it was a welcome thing, for you it wasn't. Consensus can never be reached because some chicks don't mind it while others do. Same for "unwanted" touching; for some women it's a sign the man is feelin' her and she likes it and for some they look at it as sexual assault.

    This is the 🤬 that females don't understand. 🤬 ain't mind readers. The only thing we can do are read the signs as best we can. If the 🤬 worked for us the last three times, we have no reason to assume it won't work the forth time. If we're wrong we're wrong, but we're not villains for misreading signals.

    Misreading signals isnt usually an issue. Its when 🤬 know the signals ain't there and they keep pressing. 🤬 I just read an article that said 1 of 4 men don't think flashing a woman or rubbing against her without her consent is wrong. 🤬 like that is a problem if that study is true

    Misreading signals is often an issue. That's basically the point of the article that this thread is about. Your study says that maybe 25% of dudes are just straight up scumbags or think scumbaggery is acceptable. However, 100% of men could fall victim to a misunderstanding.
  • Kat
    Kat Don't @ Me to Dumb Shit. H-TownMembers Posts: 50,667 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    Mysonne dropping gems....women use their sexuality as power the same way men use their positions of power it’s just one is looked at more negative(men using positions of power) than the other and we never hear the other side being talked about with the same emotion and or enthusiasm

    Typical @Madame_CJSkywalker @Westie @Kat @babelipsss @BiblicalAtheist response at the 10:00 mark...you hit women with logic...they hit you with the....”oh well...the bottom line is....”
    [yt]

    Man..I'm so over arguing about relations between the genders. Live your life...I'm good with my dude.
  • Westie
    Westie Whore Savant the vagina nebulaMembers Posts: 12,479 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jetlifebih wrote: »
    Mysonne dropping gems....women use their sexuality as power the same way men use their positions of power it’s just one is looked at more negative(men using positions of power) than the other and we never hear the other side being talked about with the same emotion and or enthusiasm

    Typical @Madame_CJSkywalker @Westie @Kat @babelipsss @BiblicalAtheist response at the 10:00 mark...you hit women with logic...they hit you with the....”oh well...the bottom line is....”
    [yt]

    If you 🤬 don't leave me tf alone.

    This is the problem with yall. You @ the very few women who post here to 🤬 about how bad women are. You are on a site full of men. If you love the company of men soooooo much more, leave my screen name out of your 🤬 and talk to these other 🤬 so you can continue to circle 🤬 each other.


    Thanks.