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Nightmares vs Legend24

NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
edited December 2010 in Lyrical Executions
-20 lines MAXIMUM so please don't go over like you did against Young-Ice
-5 votes to win
-Please explain VOTES!!! bc I don't want anyone complaining someone is being racist.
-Voters must have 30 posts to vote.

Goodluck. I will post my verse very soon.
«1

Comments

  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Good luck. I can have mine done by tonight.
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Done mine, I can post it now if you want... just let me know when.
  • C.MelendezC.Melendez Members Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    *lurking in the corner*
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    I'm at work and have half a verse done but it's at home so when I get off, I will finish it and post it later this evening. Good luck.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    If you see this dude..warn a brotha/
    Cuz I got warrants..and he's more a sucka/2
    That reminds me of a cop that was born a "mother", what's more, he suffas../
    Cuz he was never in charge, i'm a "bad 🤬 ", so i'm born to 🤬 ya/4
    Ima "use you to get mine" like a porno rubba/
    Cuz I could "beat you all day" like go to war with drummas/6
    "Legend 24" you'll suffa this year like Kobe when I bring the "Heat"/
    Ima three headed monster, never gonna lose when I "King" the beat/8
    I'm ending you at the beginning, your raps are self-destructing, especially tonight/
    Cuz the only way you "make a path to the top" is with a machete on a hike/10
    Did I mention... he's second ..to my rhymes, so attractive-and-they-know../
    He's threatened.. What Legend?... His "fire has been extinct" like an inactive-volcano/12
    I've never seen anyone "spit more dry" than than the last time his girlfriend literally gave me a 🤬 /
    This is so "UNexciting" like my 🤬 turning into a raisin when her shirt go off/14
    I'd rather battle it's over: 2012, at least he sounds half smart/
    This "🤬 is more stupid" than Johnny Knoxville reading a graph chart/16
    I'll turn you into a bigger sore loser and have you waking up sweating from Nightmares/
    And saying "I'm scared" then you'll need somebody to hold your hand like childcare/18
    Get some light air, I'll fly there to Toronto for your funeral because I care/
    After I "destroy your life without your knowledge" like spy-ware/20
  • C.MelendezC.Melendez Members Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    someone wakes me up when this is over
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Nightmares wrote: »
    If you see this dude..warn a brotha/
    Cuz I got warrants..and he's more a sucka/
    That reminds me of a cop that was born a "mother", what's more, he suffas../
    Cuz he was never in charge, i'm a "bad 🤬 ", so i'm born to 🤬 ya/
    Ima "use you to get mine" like a porno rubba/
    Cuz I could "beat you all day" like go to war with drummas/
    "Legend 24" you'll suffa this year like Kobe when I bring the "Heat"/
    Ima three headed monster, never gonna lose when I "King" the beat/
    I'm ending you at the beginning, your raps are self-destructing, especially tonight/
    Cuz the only way you "make a path to the top" is with a machete on a hike/

    Let me take this new cat in and initiate him
    Make him regret his decision to offer his participation
    I 🤬 rooks, so mate, check your ego
    Cause ain't no white knight coming to be your hero
    I dodge your lines like a former coke fiend institutionalized
    Then relapse for this appearance and start abusing your rhymes
    You ain't no nightmare dawg, you unicorns and rainbows
    About as harmless as a police officer in plain clothes
    Your mother gave birth to you, afterwards, she couldn't sleep
    That's about the closest you've ever come to haunting dreams
    You been reclusive ever since, I'm here to 🤬 you open
    Keep you living in your fears, truer words have never been spoken
    You joined the IC looking for acceptance
    I regret to inform you that you've been misdirected
    I'm that demon that you dread, the monster under your bed
    I'm your 🤬 nightmare pullin inception in your head
    Implanting you with an idea making you believe you can defeat me
    You ain't dreaming no more, in this world, you can't beat me
    You're still playin my game even if I infiltrate your city there
    Shut down the lights in your head so have a good night-mayor (nightmare).
  • C.MelendezC.Melendez Members Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    1 round??? well my vote goes to legend 24....do I really have to say why? this was a landslide
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    C.Melendez wrote: »
    1 round??? well my vote goes to legend 24....do I really have to say why? this was a landslide

    1 round. Gotta follow the voting rules in the original post for them to count. So yea, you have to give an explanation.
  • C.MelendezC.Melendez Members Posts: 1,250 ✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    hmmmm..honestly the only puncline I liked in there was the porn rubber 🤬 ...wasn't all that great but hey
    2 the only other real punchline after that was the kobe heat joint...and since we don't know who'll win i can't agree with it (fan of neither team but at least let them play 1st)

    with that being said legend verse way better structure...was forced and also had punchlines that was pretty good
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Yeah. Please explain votes. I don't care if you vote against me. Just would like to know why I lost in your opinion so I can be better next time or whatever. Thanks for voting though. Cool verse L24 btw.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Cool. 0-1 Legend24 up for more votes!
  • major painmajor pain Members Posts: 10,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Well Nightmares made the rules with 20 lines max. So I take that as you can use as little or as many as you like? Anyways Legend has my vote. I've never judged these before, but his made me go "ok that was nice" more than NIghtmares.
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Young-Ice wrote: »
    Redo. You can't judge a 10 bar in comparison to a 16 bar...
    you both should have written 16.

    Rules were 20 bars max... outlined in the first post. Can't bring up issues after the fact. Granted, it probably would be easier to judge with equal bars, but live and learn.

    By the way, good match Nightmares... now let's get some feedback on these bars.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Yeah its cool. If you don't want to judge me on 10 respect i can respect that. I probably should have wrote at least 14..anyway, thanks for voting! Up.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Okay. Legend24, do you want to pause voting at 2-0 your way so I can write 10 more lines, I'll just edit my verse post and add 10 more at the end then we can resume voting to make this easier on the voters? I didn't realize there'd be controversy lol. If you don't want you, it's all good with me. I don't care. We can leave it how it is and battle another day and agree on a rule that says both battlers must have 16 lines. It's your call.
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Nightmares wrote: »
    Okay. Legend24, do you want to pause voting at 2-0 your way so I can write 10 more lines, I'll just edit my verse post and add 10 more at the end then we can resume voting to make this easier on the voters? I didn't realize there'd be controversy lol. If you don't want you, it's all good with me. I don't care. We can leave it how it is and battle another day and agree on a rule that says both battlers must have 16 lines. It's your call.

    Go for it man... as long as Tha Killer doesn't have any objections. Don't want to set a bad precedent on his forums, but I don't have a problem with it this time. We'll know for next time to outline a specific number of bars.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Done. 0-2 you are up. Good luck.
  • major painmajor pain Members Posts: 10,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Can I revote?
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited August 2010
    major pain wrote: »
    Can I revote?

    If Nightmares is cool with that, then go ahead.

    If you decide to change your vote, edit out your last one and post again with a new explanation.
  • NightmaresNightmares Members Posts: 24
    edited August 2010
    Legend24 wrote: »
    If Nightmares is cool with that, then go ahead.

    If you decide to change your vote, edit out your last one and post again with a new explanation.

    I'm cool with whatever you are cool with.
  • major painmajor pain Members Posts: 10,293 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited August 2010
    Ok, still Legend.... lol
  • Tha KillaTha Killa Members Posts: 4,451 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2010
    major pain wrote: »
    Well Nightmares made the rules with 20 lines max. So I take that as you can use as little or as many as you like? Anyways Legend has my vote. I've never judged these before, but his made me go "ok that was nice" more than NIghtmares.

    I'm sorry but I can't count this vote without a better explanation than this. When you're judging a battle here in LE, you judge on these criteria. Basically, which verse had the better:

    Punchlines: Self explanatory
    Multis/Multi-Syllabic Rhyming: Self explanatory
    Flow: Which verse flowed better than the other as you read it?
    Personals: Which verse "went in" harder than the other? Which MC incorporated more info about his opponent into his verse the most brutally?
    Wordplay: Who had the most puns, metaphors, similes and other plays on words?
    Delivery: Who executed their verse better? Basically, who incorporated all of the above into their verse, in the most cohesive way?
    Impact: Which verse "hit" you harder? Which was the more enjoyable read of the two
    Structure: Which verse had the better structure of the two, and was easiest to read?


    I'm gonna copy and paste that for the LE Rules thread I'm about to create. Now that there are battlers in here, it's long overdue.
  • Tha KillaTha Killa Members Posts: 4,451 ✭✭✭
    edited September 2010
    Nightmares wrote: »
    If you see this dude..warn a brotha/
    Cuz I got warrants..and he's more a sucka/2
    That reminds me of a cop that was born a "mother", what's more, he suffas../
    Cuz he was never in charge, i'm a "bad 🤬 ", so i'm born to 🤬 ya/4

    To be honest, this intro was lacking any kind of focus or direction. I like the effort, but if the bolded is the best punchline in your opening 4 bars, your next 12-16 will have to be nothing short of exceptional to give you a legitimate shot at winning against a formidable opponent. I remember you saying that you're not really a battler, and neither am I, so I can definitely understand what it's like to be kinda rusty. So I'll cut you some slack here.


    Ima "use you to get mine" like a porno rubba/
    Cuz I could "beat you all day" like go to war with drummas/6
    "Legend 24" you'll suffa this year like Kobe when I bring the "Heat"/
    Ima three headed monster, never gonna lose when I "King" the beat/8

    This is a major step up from the previous 4 bars, and are much more unique/clever than your intro. The only knock I'd have on it is that last line, 'cause while I get the meaning behind it, it just doesn't resonate with me like the "I could beat you all day like I go to war with drummas" line. Imo, of course

    I'm ending you at the beginning, your raps are self-destructing, especially tonight/
    Cuz the only way you "make a path to the top" is with a machete on a hike/10
    Did I mention... he's second ..to my rhymes, so attractive-and-they-know../
    He's threatened.. What Legend?... His "fire has been extinct" like an inactive-volcano/12

    I sense a momentum building, as if the weaker first 4 bars was intentional. My only knock on this section is that it doesn't flow very well with the preceding 8 bars, and it took me a second to adjust to the new cadence. The bolded was 🤬 dope though. Nice wordplay there man.

    I've never seen anyone "spit more dry" than than the last time his girlfriend literally gave me a 🤬 /
    This is so "UNexciting" like my 🤬 turning into a raisin when her shirt go off/14
    I'd rather battle it's over: 2012, at least he sounds half smart/
    This "🤬 is more stupid" than Johnny Knoxville reading a graph chart/16

    To be honest, this section was decent, but it didn't build off of the momentum of your last 4 bars. And the first two lines of this section are kinda "meh" to me. None of the punches really stood out to me in this section. They were cool, just not eye opening. Ya know?

    I'll turn you into a bigger sore loser and have you waking up sweating from Nightmares/
    And saying "I'm scared" then you'll need somebody to hold your hand like childcare/18
    Get some light air, I'll fly there to Toronto for your funeral because I care/
    After I "destroy your life without your knowledge" like spy-ware/20

    This conclusion to your verse was much better than the intro to it, but still kinda "meh" in the "make me say 🤬 " category. It's decent, but I definitely think you could have ended on a much stronger note. Even though the Nightmares/I'm scared/childcare line was pretty nice, the last two didn't hit has hard as it could have. I think overall this was a solid verse from a non-battler/someone who's been outta practice for a minute.

    Legend24 wrote: »
    Let me take this new cat in and initiate him
    Make him regret his decision to offer his participation
    I 🤬 rooks, so mate, check your ego
    Cause ain't no white knight coming to be your hero

    This was a nice, solid intro to your verse, and though you didn't come out the gate swingin' like I like to see in a battle, verse, it was still had a decent punchline with the chess wordplay in the last 2 lines

    I dodge your lines like a former coke fiend institutionalized
    Then relapse for this appearance and start abusing your rhymes
    You ain't no nightmare dawg, you unicorns and rainbows
    About as harmless as a police officer in plain clothes

    You started to pick up steam a lil' bit for me in these lines and had me feelin' it until the plain clothes police officer line. I don't know how they do it up there, but cops still hate 🤬 whether they're in uniform or not.

    Your mother gave birth to you, afterwards, she couldn't sleep
    That's about the closest you've ever come to haunting dreams
    You been reclusive ever since, I'm here to 🤬 you open
    Keep you living in your fears, truer words have never been spoken

    This here was just weaksauce. You almost had him on the ropes and let him slide with this stanza. It's kind of a typical/obvious play on his name, but you could have been waaaay more clever than that. Seems like you were running out of ideas with the bolded.

    You joined the IC looking for acceptance
    I regret to inform you that you've been misdirected
    I'm that demon that you dread, the monster under your bed
    I'm your 🤬 nightmare pullin inception in your head

    I'm usually against dwelling on a certain aspect your opponent for too long, but you made a way better punchline with the nightmare/Inception 🤬 . Even though the 1st two lines are not that great for the last 8 bars of a verse.

    Implanting you with an idea making you believe you can defeat me
    You ain't dreaming no more, in this world, you can't beat me
    You're still playin my game even if I infiltrate your city there
    Shut down the lights in your head so have a good night-mayor (nightmare).

    The last 2 lines was better than the first two, but like Nightmares, this conclusion to your verse is lacking imo. Maybe because this is your first battle here. You do have skills though and with some practice you can/probably WILL get better, and keep practicing.


    With all of that said:

    Punchlines: Legend by a slight margin
    Multis: Tie
    Flow: Legend
    Personals: Tie...neither had that many personals, but if I HAD to vote, my vote would prolly go to Nightmares in a close on.
    Wordplay: Legend
    Delivery: I'd say tie
    Impact: I'd say Legend's verse stood out to me more. Even though with Nightmare's edit, he closed the gap in a big way.
    Structure: Tie


    Winner: Legend


    It was a good battle though fellas, I'm glad to see none of that beef 🤬 in this thread, and I look forward to the both of ya'll stickin' around a while
  • Legend24Legend24 Members Posts: 689 ✭✭
    edited September 2010
    Cool, thanks for the in-depth analysis Killer... that's why I'm doing these battles.

    Still 2-0 for me since Major Pain's vote no longer counts. You gotta give a more detailed explanation if you want your vote to count bro.

    I know other people are reading these verses, so drop some feedback.
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