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Delicate Whispers

bman536bman536 Members Posts: 15
edited December 2010 in Waiting To Exhale
I delicately whisper to erase all fear, telling her everything just for a tear. As I open my jar my smile stretches far. What seems as though a minuscule drop, only I behold the heavens it unfolds, only I envision the thoughts it ignites. One transparent drip cradles everything that I fen. As I tighten the jar, I am stifled by a vast sea of emotions. Transfixed, I sit motionless, the vibrant waves echo through my skull; I num. Wave after eccentric wave I straighten them out to discover the pave, they crackle confirming my isolation. Absorbed by this exuberant surge of sound, I frown not knowing full why. Shadows darken as clouds approach, I know what comes next. Letting the thought dangle, I pause to blink; I awake to the thing I sought to take; a delicate stroke. Caught by her stare in my peripherals I see a jar, she smiles.

Comments

  • TupacfanTupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited December 2010
    Wow,

    This piece was nice, loved the metaphors.. The word play..

    I apprecite this piece this morning..

    Thanks for sharing.. And I hope to see you stick around and share your poems with us..
  • bman536bman536 Members Posts: 15
    edited December 2010
    Thank you! Yep this has to be one of my favorite ones. It took me about an hour to write because once I wrote the first sentence the whole poem flashed before my eyes, but the hard part was finding the right words to describe the vast amount of emotions I was feeling. (I was in jail at the time) Lol I pat myself on the back every time I read it, I can't help but smile. :)
  • TupacfanTupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited December 2010
    Your most welcome!

    Glad to hear your proud of yourself with this poem..

    I always do the same thing too, on the poems I really put work in, and spilled my heart into.. So I can relate.

    And feedbck is always good too.. To further progress our writing.

    Well I hope u stick around here..

    Peace!
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