What's up everyone. We are doing a contest with T.I. and we are giving away $1200 a day for the next 10 days. Just wanted to give you all a heads up.

A Look Inside My Mind (Song About A Friend)

TechN9ne Members Posts: 8
edited June 2010 in Roc Tha Mic
i wrote this song in first person about a friend whos going through some borderline mental problems, its very personal. below the first excerpt is what she wrote about the song, and following is the song


If anyone has ever wondered what I go through with my thoughts and doings living with this mental disorder and don't really understand, should read this note as it is my life. Everything I feel, everything I felt on the daily.. things I have done, how living like this hurts to the bone.. Not wanting to be here, feel like I'm all alone... Jordan the writer, of this tragic life of mine... was like he was there as he knew how to describe it. Blew me away with the words he did say. Was like he was there with me every step of the way... telling my story to him was the best thing I could do. As he made me feel better with the words he did strew... xo Jordan! <3

Paranormal activity, emotional breakdowns
amongst the so called smiles I witness the fake frowns
pills i take down, murderous thoughts
got so bad even pulled a knife on the cops
i used to fly a kite with my pops, bake cookies with my mom
but now i carve my hatred for this world deep into my arm
🤬 karm, ah.. yeah 🤬 karma to the fullest
use words as my weapons as i conjure up this bullet
taste it, taste it, bitter without the sweet part
haven't even hit the deep part, bleed damn it bleed
this devils on my shoulder and off my pain it feeds
plant the seed of Satan demonic deep inside my brain
clenched pistol in my hand put an end to the pain??
teardrops of rain, run down my face as i speak this tale
cover my face with an old picture of me and use it as a vail

it destroys me each day, each passing moments a blur
🤬 mutilation to me, seems to be the cure
the pain in my veins is insane but it tames
the physical strain on my brain is like a ball and chain

i walked a double edge sword on a path to destruction
blood spewed from my soles as the blade cuts in
this life i must end, saw the only thing in sight
a dog collar and leash will lead me out of this life
wrapped it around my neck, tied it to the railing
but not a moment later my attempt became a failing
6 cops came in, but i wasn't going down easy
when i cut myself i like it deep never let the razor tease me
it frees me, and takes me to a place where i can cope
walk around with a sign that says don't sell this woman rope
I've played hide and seek with hope, I'm still 🤬 looking!!
cant gather the energy to do a thing been years since I've had my cooking
taste, touch, smell, hear, and see what the 🤬 my life is
then you'd understand for one second why the knife is
constantly cutting, deeper and deeper like the ocean
to you this may cause 🤬 pain but i show no emotion

just make it stop....


  • Tha Killa
    Tha Killa Members Posts: 4,451 ✭✭✭
    edited June 2010
    There is SO MUCH you could have done with this particular concept but I think you covered the basics. Man you coulda took this and ran with it in so many ways. I think you did a really good job, and I'm glad your friend likes it, but maybe you could try to personify the mental illness and chronicle the way it festers and sickens inside the mind of your friend. You've got a lot of directions you can go with this if you ever decide to revise it and I look forward to seeing some of your other work. Keep up the good work though man.