What's up everyone. We are doing a contest with T.I. and we are giving away $1200 a day for the next 10 days. Just wanted to give you all a heads up.
https://www.allhiphop.com/ti

Know man's land

OldschoolVgamerOldschoolVgamer Members Posts: 4
edited January 2011 in Waiting To Exhale
I'm a new poster and decided to start my first thread here. I'll try and create something right here off the top of my head and see what you guys think. Something very basic.

***

Your heart beats, my heart explodes
Your head fleets, my head is in codes
Granted to you in simple hands
Demanded of me, this is know man's land

The ghost whispers, a stand up comedian
Disciplinarian, a sectarian crossfire funeral pyre
The flames get higher, I'm a tedious squire
A lesser messiah

Two feet too close to ground
Infinite fear, two ears to the sounds
Nobody else can hear the screams
In outer space, out of place
Living in bad dreams of the pound

They treat you like dogs and their breeds
Cultivated like living cogs in machines
I've got a screw loose

***

What do you think? :)

Comments

  • TupacfanTupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited December 2010
    This is pretty decent for off top creativity drop!

    I digg and respect that! I love it when ppl can spit poetry off top.. True spoken word.

    I think you had some good lines there, word play was on point.

    The first 4 stanza's were my favorite..

    And welcome to Waiting to Exhale.. Please feel free toshare more of ur material here.. We are a movement not a group so join us and lets make an impact with the verbs we spit.

    Peace!
  • OldschoolVgamerOldschoolVgamer Members Posts: 4
    edited December 2010
    Take a look at my profile and maybe it will explain a little bit. I have Asperger's Syndrome.
  • TupacfanTupacfan Members, Moderators Posts: 2,428 Regulator
    edited January 2011
    hmmmm.. when time allows me..
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