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So this female jogger in Colorado springs is taking 🤬 on people's yards
There’s no use trying to skirt around this, so let’s cut straight to the chase: A Colorado Springs woman has been taking big craps in front of someone’s house for a few weeks now. They’re calling her the Mad Pooper and she won’t stop. The cops are involved. It appears to be some sort of revenge pooping. I hope you enjoy this report from local CBS outlet KKTV as much as I did.
The goofy guy who said, “It’s just not a natural thing we do in our society, to drop your trousers and, uh, and relieve yourself right there when you know there’s people around,” really cut to the heart of the thing. We called the Colorado Springs Police Department, who confirmed that this is indeed a real case being handled by the CSPD’s Falcon Division.
Pretty much every quote from this story is magnificent:
“They are like, ‘There’s a lady taking a 🤬 !’ So I come outside, and I’m like ... ‘are you serious?’” Budde recalled. “’Are you really taking a 🤬 right here in front of my kids!?’ She’s like, ‘Yeah, sorry!’”
“It’s abnormal, it’s not something I’ve seen in my career,” Sgt. Johnathan Sharketti said. “For someone to repeatedly do such a thing ... it’s uncharted territory for me.”
“There’s plenty of public restrooms less than a block away from where she’s targeting. This is intentional.”
As the TV report indicated, the woman has also been sighted pooping in a Walgreens and in nearby backyards. The presence of bathrooms close by and her propensity for repeat turds clearly show that she doesn’t care about signs, warnings, completing the rest of her runs with mudbutt, or the stigma of a society unenamored with joggers taking drive-by 🤬 in and around their properties. She even brings her own toilet paper. The only questions that remain are mechanical and motivational.
Damn, home girl been out it all week and still hasn't been caught. Not quite a clean getaway though
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