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Pros / Cons About Marriage

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Comments

  • JoshuaMoshua
    JoshuaMoshua Members Posts: 358 ✭✭✭✭
    rickmogul wrote: »
    @JoshuaMoshua Don't U have life teach U a lesson" fam. They're very expense, time consuming and costly when u allow that 2 take place. U look a gift horse in the mouth I see huh? Ya hindsight vision will be ya 20/20. Life's experiences R 2 B shared to spare others. Don't be afraid 2 open up too.

    Huh?

    I don't have any experience with marriage but I know enough to know that it's not a death trap. I've seen happily married people and vice versa.

    All I'm saying is, the narrative here is a bit biased, that's all.
  • rickmogul
    rickmogul IFNOTYNOT Members Posts: 1,961 ✭✭✭✭✭
    @JoshuaMoshua Cool I got U no dis fam. Like I posted earlier, my folks hit 52 yrs in 2 weeks. I agree is either way. Just sounds like a lot of us R shaving off some advice I wish a younger me would have taken. Eve wasn't lying saying Love is Blind or will blind U. Keep having fun brother. Be safe 2 day out there.
  • 7figz
    7figz Still don’t nothing move but the money Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    rickmogul wrote: »
    @JoshuaMoshua Don't U have life teach U a lesson" fam. They're very expense, time consuming and costly when u allow that 2 take place. U look a gift horse in the mouth I see huh? Ya hindsight vision will be ya 20/20. Life's experiences R 2 B shared to spare others. Don't be afraid 2 open up too.

    Huh?

    I don't have any experience with marriage but I know enough to know that it's not a death trap. I've seen happily married people and vice versa.

    All I'm saying is, the narrative here is a bit biased, that's all.

    Fam, quick comparison -

    If the thread was "Pros / Cons About Guns", and a lot of posters were in here posting about people who they knew who were killed by guns (Yeah I know guns don't 🤬 people....), would you be saying the narrative is biased ?

    Exactly.

    That's why I asked for the pros and cons. If there's a lot of good 🤬 to say about marriage, just drop it in here. People who look it as a trap, usually have some justification for thinking that - if you're going to dismiss their opinion, at least provide a relevant counter argument. Saying that somebody else had a happy marriage when somebody described how marriage can be a trap isn't a good counter argument, because it's not addressing their situation at all.
  • JoshuaMoshua
    JoshuaMoshua Members Posts: 358 ✭✭✭✭
    7figz wrote: »
    rickmogul wrote: »
    @JoshuaMoshua Don't U have life teach U a lesson" fam. They're very expense, time consuming and costly when u allow that 2 take place. U look a gift horse in the mouth I see huh? Ya hindsight vision will be ya 20/20. Life's experiences R 2 B shared to spare others. Don't be afraid 2 open up too.

    Huh?

    I don't have any experience with marriage but I know enough to know that it's not a death trap. I've seen happily married people and vice versa.

    All I'm saying is, the narrative here is a bit biased, that's all.

    Fam, quick comparison -

    If the thread was "Pros / Cons About Guns", and a lot of posters were in here posting about people who they knew who were killed by guns (Yeah I know guns don't 🤬 people....), would you be saying the narrative is biased ?

    Exactly.

    That's why I asked for the pros and cons. If there's a lot of good 🤬 to say about marriage, just drop it in here. People who look it as a trap, usually have some justification for thinking that - if you're going to dismiss their opinion, at least provide a relevant counter argument. Saying that somebody else had a happy marriage when somebody described how marriage can be a trap isn't a good counter argument, because it's not addressing their situation at all.

    Actually yes, I'd say the narrative/answers were biased towards people more likely to experience gun related violence. Depending on your background, your experience with guns (and to an extent marriage) could be vastly different than someone elses. Maybe, I came off too dismissive but let's be honest here bias is bias and the ones most hurt by [Insert any topic here] will be always be the loudest and most negative about that particular subject.
  • 7figz
    7figz Still don’t nothing move but the money Members Posts: 15,294 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2017
    7figz wrote: »
    rickmogul wrote: »
    @JoshuaMoshua Don't U have life teach U a lesson" fam. They're very expense, time consuming and costly when u allow that 2 take place. U look a gift horse in the mouth I see huh? Ya hindsight vision will be ya 20/20. Life's experiences R 2 B shared to spare others. Don't be afraid 2 open up too.

    Huh?

    I don't have any experience with marriage but I know enough to know that it's not a death trap. I've seen happily married people and vice versa.

    All I'm saying is, the narrative here is a bit biased, that's all.

    Fam, quick comparison -

    If the thread was "Pros / Cons About Guns", and a lot of posters were in here posting about people who they knew who were killed by guns (Yeah I know guns don't 🤬 people....), would you be saying the narrative is biased ?

    Exactly.

    That's why I asked for the pros and cons. If there's a lot of good 🤬 to say about marriage, just drop it in here. People who look it as a trap, usually have some justification for thinking that - if you're going to dismiss their opinion, at least provide a relevant counter argument. Saying that somebody else had a happy marriage when somebody described how marriage can be a trap isn't a good counter argument, because it's not addressing their situation at all.

    Actually yes, I'd say the narrative/answers were biased towards people more likely to experience gun related violence. Depending on your background, your experience with guns (and to an extent marriage) could be vastly different than someone elses. Maybe, I came off too dismissive but let's be honest here bias is bias and the ones most hurt by [Insert any topic here] will be always be the loudest and most negative about that particular subject.

    I hear what you saying but what's stopping those folks with the good 🤬 to say about marriage from posting in here too ?

    When I discuss 🤬 like this in real life, I usually hear 🤬 like "the bible says...", or "a man / woman is supposed to...", or trying to shame somebody who doesn't want to get married. But at least they saying something.

    I'm going to throw out another possible 'pro' even though I'm not sure because I'm not married.

    - I think married people may benefit tax-wise

    - I also think they benefit in certain other situations like health insurance, where they used to only let you add your spouse, at least until the same sex marriage movement started happening. Then they started laxing on that requirement, and you could just writer "partner" or whatever.
  • Go figure
    Go figure Sion the GoGuests, Members, Confirm Email, Writer Posts: 4,662 ✭✭✭✭✭
    I think the issue with marriage isnt marriage itself its how ppl handle it.

    For instance if ur gonna be with this one person for the next 30 or so yrs of your life...both of u are bound to make many mistakes.

    If neither of u are forgiving, understanding or compromising, every problem is compounded by every past problem so that even when there arent any problems youre still bitter.

    Both have to be willing to work 🤬 out and not hold grudges otherwise no marriage will ever be good enough for u.

    And im sure that sounds negative but if u can achieve that (among other things a marriage brings) the benefits will have u riding high
  • JoshuaMoshua
    JoshuaMoshua Members Posts: 358 ✭✭✭✭
    7figz wrote: »
    7figz wrote: »
    rickmogul wrote: »
    @JoshuaMoshua Don't U have life teach U a lesson" fam. They're very expense, time consuming and costly when u allow that 2 take place. U look a gift horse in the mouth I see huh? Ya hindsight vision will be ya 20/20. Life's experiences R 2 B shared to spare others. Don't be afraid 2 open up too.

    Huh?

    I don't have any experience with marriage but I know enough to know that it's not a death trap. I've seen happily married people and vice versa.

    All I'm saying is, the narrative here is a bit biased, that's all.

    Fam, quick comparison -

    If the thread was "Pros / Cons About Guns", and a lot of posters were in here posting about people who they knew who were killed by guns (Yeah I know guns don't 🤬 people....), would you be saying the narrative is biased ?

    Exactly.

    That's why I asked for the pros and cons. If there's a lot of good 🤬 to say about marriage, just drop it in here. People who look it as a trap, usually have some justification for thinking that - if you're going to dismiss their opinion, at least provide a relevant counter argument. Saying that somebody else had a happy marriage when somebody described how marriage can be a trap isn't a good counter argument, because it's not addressing their situation at all.

    Actually yes, I'd say the narrative/answers were biased towards people more likely to experience gun related violence. Depending on your background, your experience with guns (and to an extent marriage) could be vastly different than someone elses. Maybe, I came off too dismissive but let's be honest here bias is bias and the ones most hurt by [Insert any topic here] will be always be the loudest and most negative about that particular subject.

    I hear what you saying but what's stopping those folks with the good 🤬 to say about marriage from posting in here too ?
    I'ma try to say this in the least assholish way possible:

    This board doesn't exactly have the chickens clucking, if you know what I mean.
  • jay83
    jay83 Members Posts: 5,490 ✭✭✭✭✭
    From some instances I've seen alot of men aren't responsible for their actions and women aren't accountable for theirs.

  • Shizlansky
    Shizlansky Members Posts: 35,095 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Plutarch wrote: »
    Props, lots of science being dropped. I'm not married, and I'm still on the fence, which is annoying because you know moms (and all her friends) gotta be stressing a 🤬 , especially since I'm the only son.

    Imo, there's an infinite number of good reasons for a man to not get married, and really, there's only one good reason to get married, so the odds don't exactly look good. But something tells me marriage can be the worst thing or the greatest thing, with far in few between. But I've seen the latter in my own parents, grandparents, and friends.

    But my old folks had it much "easier." Marriage seems to work rarer nowadays for various reasons. I have to agree with deadeye. No-fault divorce 🤬 up the game. But I'll go further. The government 🤬 up marriage (as it's apt to do with whatever it gets into). Instead of pushing so hard to get the government to grant permission for 🤬 to get married, we should've pushed hard to get the government out of marriage altogether and have people decide their marriages themselves via personal contracts that would be merely protected by the government.

    You 🤬 better be careful though. Like I've said a million times, prenups can be dismissed in court. And if you're unmarried but live with a partner for a certain amount of time, you can legally be considered married by the government in certain situations. Or so I've heard.
    Shizlansky wrote: »
    I'm getting married in two months and be with my lady for 6 years.

    Can't wait. We on the same page and got the same goals.

    I know he cons but also know the pros.

    Congrats, but be careful...

    We been together for almost 7 years and has a child together.

    We had our ups and downs but we have the same goals and mindset so it's great for both of us.

    We work great as a team and that's a big part of it.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lefty_ wrote: »
    When you get married, you take on your bad days as well your spouses, which makes for more bad days. If you're not strong enough to keep your bad days to yourself, and not bring them home while leading your household, and at the same time have the poise, and emotional intelligence to not catch feelings when her bad days cross into your world and still stay sturdy, don't even go ring shoppin dog.

    Kids, as beautiful as they are, add to the stress load because now your time is not yours anymore and many find themselves, losing themselves in the daily struggle of doing what you have to instead of what you want to and fighting those feelings of regret that exist because you want your time back, and there's nothing wrong with that, you're human, and we're selfish at times. You gotta find the jewels within parenthood that make it worth while Mine gave me so much 🤬 fuel to be better, I can't imagine going back to the 🤬 I was. If you not built for that, or you don't think you have a mate that is.... hit the showers.

    Look at it like this, Marriage is the NBA of relationships. If you can't get through menial, or big problems when it's just 1 on 1 with some commitment, but still a unlocked door. If one or the other finds themselves looking at the unlocked door during every dispute, and get to sayin 🤬 like they unsure, don't get married. Because when that door locks.... It's real, we playin for keeps, and the cost of losing is super high.

    As a man, you have to be stable enough to take on a woman and all her emotions, and try to remain who she fell in love with, while also keeping her at least feeling secure by providing, leading, teaching and protecting her, and your children. Being a woman has it's own pressures, but i'm not no woman so i'll leave that to them to explain. If you choose a partner for the right reasons, and you're certain you're both war ready, make it happen, be fruitful, and have a beautiful life together, and raise children that will hopefully learn from your example and do the same.

    The most important attribute a wife can have is commitment, loyalty, and persistence, that's what being ready for anything life throws at you and staying the course is all about. All the stay togethers I know had one common thread of advice YOUNG 🤬 YOU GON GO THROUGH SOME 🤬 , WITH MARRIAGE, SO MAKE SURE YOU'RE BOTH READY.

    And If I could add 2 rules to that, the first rule is make sure you keep the love for each other first. The second rule is don't forget rule number 1. It's the heartbeat of the whole thing, so take care of each other, mind body and spirit.

    Ain't 🤬 sweet, at all. Bring your hard hat. You come ready to dig out a foundation and plant the field instead of thinking the work is done once you leave the altar. You'll be aight. And remember, MEN LEAD. PERIOD.

    Marriage is beautiful, but you gotta put the pain in to keep it rockin.

    Synergy 🤬 . Find a dope person and you keep being dope, and make a doper person. That's why we here.

    goat analogy...I can respect it. may I add?

    🤬 don't wanna work for the NBA tho....they want to play in Europe or Israel... where they will take anyone...an 🤬 want to act like they made it somewhere.

    or they want to hide within the team. allowing the team to carry them. but stepoing into a 1 on 1, will put they weaknesses on front Street
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    edited September 2017
    I must say this tho....
    I ask all men to not take on another 🤬 misfortune.

    society does that alot to skate around being responsible.
    🤬 day..I don't want kids cuz such an such had a bad experience. but yet dint say...I want kuds cuz such an such kid is now a doctor taking care of them.

    we tend to take only the negative to fit us when we don't have a good answer.
    are 🤬 avoiding hoes yet? nope

    are 🤬 avoiding jobs that laid off in the past? nope
  • rip.dilla
    rip.dilla ... push up the fader... bust the meter... shake the tweeter Members Posts: 17,412 ✭✭✭✭✭
    The Hue wrote: »
    Look 🤬 this 🤬 is simple, all the pros of marriage is due to choosing the RIGHT woman and all the cons are due to choosing the WRONG woman. I can't stress this enough, if you're gonna bend the knee, make sure that woman deserves to sit on the throne.



    Problem is it's not that plain and simple...


    I've heard 🤬 say the person they married was a different creature to the person they courted and dated before putting the ring on 'em



    Meaning, they pretend just to get the ring and then expose their real selves whilst in the marriage
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    jay83 wrote: »
    From some instances I've seen alot of men aren't responsible for their actions and women aren't accountable for theirs.

    basically sums it up.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    rip.dilla wrote: »
    The Hue wrote: »
    Look 🤬 this 🤬 is simple, all the pros of marriage is due to choosing the RIGHT woman and all the cons are due to choosing the WRONG woman. I can't stress this enough, if you're gonna bend the knee, make sure that woman deserves to sit on the throne.



    Problem is it's not that plain and simple...


    I've heard 🤬 say the person they married was a different creature to the person they courted and dated before putting the ring on 'em



    Meaning, they pretend just to get the ring and then expose their real selves whilst in the marriage

    bruh.....the happens during the first meeting an first dates.

    it's called sending a "representative"

    some people feel you actually will commit...but some look at it like a goal with no plan afterwards.

    then you got 🤬 who don't listen.

    man....most guys told me before marraige to think about it. then think about what you thought about. then think about it again. then think about it sober. this 🤬 is serious.

    chicks be on some, do he work? what chall gonna do bout his kids. you think he gon be loyal.

  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    my wife also watches power with me....she loves any team I like an any boxer I like. I inturn used to watch housewives of alt with her an Wendy Williams.

    give an take
  • Lefty_
    Lefty_ The Ayatollah Of Baking Soda Pullin Up.....Members, Writer Posts: 3,506 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Taking two personalities from two totally different backgrounds, with potentially two totally different sets of values and goals and meshing them into one unit is never, ever going to be simple.

    Everything from diet, to conflict resolution will have to be "married", compromised and made to work for both parties. Add children and your goals as a parent, verses the goals as a parental unit and fitting both parenting styles together is never simple.

    People changing as they age and being something different in their 40s and 50s than they were in their 20s and 30s is not simple. The what now after the children are gone and you've lost a part of yourself inside parenthood and looking at your mate and re evaluating is never simple.

    The common denominator is love, and the way we maintain the relationship. That's why I said it's the heartbeat of the whole institution. If you found someone who you love, and who truly loves you, and you make certain to keep your core intact, and maintain the love you first found, shouldn't be too many problems keeping it going for ever even through all the strife that you're going to face, not probably going to..... Going to. That's the only simple part, that bond.

    Everything else is walking a tightrope of give and take.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Lefty_ wrote: »
    Taking two personalities from two totally different backgrounds, with potentially two totally different sets of values and goals and meshing them into one unit is never, ever going to be simple.

    Everything from diet, to conflict resolution will have to be "married", compromised and made to work for both parties. Add children and your goals as a parent, verses the goals as a parental unit and fitting both parenting styles together is never simple.

    People changing as they age and being something different in their 40s and 50s than they were in their 20s and 30s is not simple. The what now after the children are gone and you've lost a part of yourself inside parenthood and looking at your mate and re evaluating is never simple.

    The common denominator is love, and the way we maintain the relationship. That's why I said it's the heartbeat of the whole institution. If you found someone who you love, and who truly loves you, and you make certain to keep your core intact, and maintain the love you first found, shouldn't be too many problems keeping it going for ever even through all the strife that you're going to face, not probably going to..... Going to. That's the only simple part, that bond.

    Everything else is walking a tightrope of give and take.

    preach
  • Fosheezy
    Fosheezy AKA Flying Wonders the Diamond Mind Members Posts: 3,204 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Marriage and a lot of relationships in general is a politics play, not love.
  • 2stepz_ahead
    2stepz_ahead Who I am is Complex, What i am, simply put. I'm a Threat walking out the lions denGuests, Members, Writer, Content Producer Posts: 32,324 ✭✭✭✭✭
    Fosheezy wrote: »
    Marriage and a lot of relationships in general is a politics play, not love.

    man...I'm not running for office. I was chasing the ass
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